


One Thousand and One Nights

by tesamendoza



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Past Abuse, Slow Burn, Violence, i can’t do tags, mentions of domestic violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:53:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 56,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24153868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tesamendoza/pseuds/tesamendoza
Summary: Alicia and Raquel are far from friends, yet one night seems to change everything.
Relationships: Raquel Murillo/Alicia Sierra
Comments: 180
Kudos: 172





	1. Of gods, ketchup and lifts

**Author's Note:**

> Hola! There is mention of domestic violence, but no graphic descriptions. I have never written before lol so I hope yall enjoy it; please let me know what you think etc. <3

What god had tempted her to put ketchup on pizza? Raquel Murillo couldn’t seem to find the answer to that question, as she made her way to the bathroom at the police headquarters to try to remove the incriminating stain from her last clean shirt.

She walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. It was quarter to eleven in the evening and she looked like she had risen from the dead. The purple eye bags were no longer easily camouflaged by her foundation and concealer mix, her hair was muffled, probably because she happened to accidentally fall asleep on her desk half an hour ago. The wake up had been very unpleasant, and she decided that she needed to eat something. Unfortunately, the only thing she could find was a slice of some ‘unknown topping’ pizza in the fridge, and decided to kill the taste with ketchup. So, perhaps she wasn’t being that unreasonable after all.

In terms of the pizza, she though, as she unbuttoned her shirt, hoping to be able to wash the satin more thoroughly. She took her shirt off, and sighed as she dipped the bottom left side into the sink filled with warm water. There weren’t many people around at this time, and Raquel was fairly sure she was one of the last ones in the building; it was highly unlikely anyone would come in. Technically, she shouldn’t be here either, having officially finished her shift a few hours ago. That was what made the whole situation so unreasonable; she knew she should be looking for left over food in her fridge at home, rather than the one in her office. Yet something had kept her behind. Work of course.

But deep down she knew she was frustrated at this whole stupid situation, because if she just went home, she would’ve never had been tempted by the slice of pizza, and now wouldn’t be struggling with the fucking ketchup. Not going home was unreasonable. The ketchup was simply an inevitable consequence of her choice to stay. She couldn’t help but laugh. There she was, in the bathroom, at work, at some ungodly hour, debating what force of the universe was the one which pushed her to put ketchup on her pizza, in order not to avoid thinking about her actual problems. How pathetic. Could she sink any lower? Alone, in her underwear, laughing at a ketchup stain on her shirt.

A new low indeed.

As she proceeded to try to rinse the soap from her shirt, for the first time, she properly looked at her reflection. Raquel couldn’t help but flinch. The lighting in the bathroom was better than she thought, the mirror was a lot larger than her one at home and the bruises that covered her torso… a lot bloodier. Perhaps not going home was the most unreasonable thing to do, as if she was asking to add to her collection.

She didn’t recognise the girl staring back at her, she didn’t want to. It simply wasn’t her. But things could be worse, they had improved recently… well, that was after she ended up in the hospital with a broken rib. Since then, it’s been better. Most of the time.

She returned to trying to scrub the rather persistent stain off the material with some more soap, attempting to take her mind of the uncomfortable thoughts that kept crossing it. She couldn’t help but frown at the girl in the mirror; ketchup was by far a more entertaining topic. But it was too late, as all she could think of was how her phone died hours ago and she had forgotten her charger, definitely a bad move. Fortunately, there were no sporting events on today; she hated how she made a habit of checking the sports new to try to figure out if her husband would be drunk upon her arrival. Raquel knew deep down it was such an obvious sign that things are out of had gotten out of hand. But she also couldn’t help but think that things weren’t going to change with a simple realisation. There was so much more to it, so much she couldn’t bring her head around.

The door to the bathroom swung open making Raquel jump. As if her evening couldn’t get any worse, Alicia Sierra materialised in front of her. The woman stared silently at Raquel, who had given up trying to cover herself with her shirt. She knew that even if she tried, it would be impossible to hide away all the signs of abuse from Alicia. Raquel looked the woman in the eyes, challenging her to say something. The irony of the situation almost made Raquel laugh; there she was, standing in front of her enemy in just her black lace bra, ready to defend herself to any comment she could see coming from the other woman’s mouth. She was willing to deny everything, even though the evidence left little room for questions; Raquel wouldn’t allow herself to be at the mercy of this woman.

However, the situation took a rather anticlimactic turn, as having one last time scanned her from head to toe, Alicia walked into the nearest cubicle, without saying a single word. Even if seconds ago Raquel was ready for a confrontation, all her bravery seemed to evaporate at the strange reaction. She quickly put her shirt back on without bothering to dry it, and made her way out of the bathroom.

Alicia was an interesting character. She was known, amongst everyone, simply as ‘the bitch’ or ‘man eater’. She, no doubt, had a very strong character. And never let anyone step on her. In this manner, she made people’s lives difficult, which eventually built her the reputation of not the most fun person around. And one thing was for sure, she didn’t like Raquel.

They were of the same rank, yet the cases were assigned according to specialisation, and more often than not, Raquel found herself working under her lead. And she was an awful superior. She might have commanded respect, but for sure she didn't have any respect, especially for her working their ass off over hours co-workers. What made it worse, was her absolute lack of care if she was liked or not, simply leaving everyone having to suffer her absolute lack of sympathy or even see her attempt fake friendliness for the sake of making working with her less insufferable. Moreover, she was probably the most competitive person Raquel had ever met, and was prepared to reach her goal at all cost. This took a very spectacular turn in their time working together, as instead of trying to teamwork, Alicia and Raquel would do everything to ‘win’. From insults to minor sabotage, Raquel played the game against Alicia for the longest time anyone had ever managed. The rivalry made meetings hell, usually increased the workload, and after a while got annoying or simply joked about by the others. It seemed like only the two women couldn’t let go.

As soon as Raquel reached her desk to pack up her stuff, the dark reality doomed on her. There had been rumours of Raquel’s not so great going relationship with her husband – a few words too many said here and there, bad make up, her staying at work till ridiculous times, as of recently the incident with the broken rib… The speculations and gossip kept building up, but no one had the breakthrough evidence to confirm the rumours. Well, until tonight. And that information falling into the hands of the person in who’s interest it was to harm her as much as possible.

“Battered woman” echoed in Raquel’s head as she imagined Alicia just couldn’t wait to bring it up in tomorrow’s morning meeting. She couldn’t help but laugh sarcastically; she was going home at eleven in the evening and hadn’t picked up her phone all day… why worry about tomorrow if she wasn’t sure she was going to live that long?

Raquel felt the cold air hit her as she walked out of the building. Her shirt hadn’t yet dried, and she couldn’t help but shiver. The evening was a particularly cold one, the sky was covered in clouds and she could hear the wind rustling through the bare branches of the trees. She stopped for a second, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Everything was going to be okay. She would be fine going back to her own home. She opened her eyes and was about to walk towards her car when she felt someone grab her hand.

“Alicia…” the name died on Raquel’s lips, as she looked at the woman in confusion. She wore a gentle smile, one she hadn’t often seen. Her hand tightly squeezed Raquel’s, with her thumb running slowly over her knuckles. The motion was almost hypnotic, and Raquel couldn’t look away. The flickering street light made Alicia’s feature look particularly eerie, and Raquel could feel herself shiver. If she was trying to rob her or kidnap her, she was doing very well, as Raquel decided that this reverse psychology was working spot on. With a few more minutes of Alicia’s soothing touch, she felt she would do anything the woman told her.

“You’re coming with me,” the woman spoke equally softly, to Raquel’s surprise. A kidnapping after all.

“What do you mean?” it took a few seconds for Raquel to gather up her thoughts, at her utter confusion of the whole situation.

“I called your husband and told him you’re coming home with me,” Alicia spoke slowly, yet made sure to emphasise her point.

“I’m sorry, what?!” Raquel overcome with anger and fear tried to yank her hand out of Alicia’s who, clearly predicted the reaction, and stubbornly held on.

“Oh don’t worry, I told him you had to finish off a report and half of the paperwork is back at my place. I said I was forced to call by General Gomez, to at least offer to drop your, may I quote, “brat”, off to school, as you’ll probably end up working till early hours of the morning and will be a hazard to the safety of your child to drive back. He seemed to believe, that for the sake of Gomez, who insisted to accommodate you, I was forced to have you stay overnight.”

Raquel looked at her in disbelief; Alicia was usually unpredictable, but this was something new. Raquel seemed to relax for a second, before she was felt yet another uncomfortable ache in her chest; why was Alicia doing this?

“I assume your charger broke or something,” she continued, amused, “I had some fun with this one and told him I confiscated your phone until you got your work done; he threatened to report me for breaking human rights or something.”

“You had no right to call him,” was all that Raquel could manage to mutter, simply not knowing how to feel about the sudden turn of events.

“I know I had no right,” she mused, “but don’t think I’m doing any of this for you.”

Raquel looked at her questioningly.

“Did you think my conscience was going to let me sleep calmly after what I saw?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You can lie to yourself as much as you like, but if you think I don’t know what the consequences of you going home at this time are… you’re wrong,” she replied, “what? Were you waiting for him to fall asleep? Come on now. I would feel far too responsible.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I-“ Raquel couldn’t finish as she was interrupted by Alicia’s laughter.

“Look, Raquel,” she wore a smile from ear to ear, “I may be a bitch, but I wouldn’t tell a child to cross the street if I saw a car coming at full speed. I mean, fuck the child. But it could come to have some consequences for me…”

“I am a child crossing a street?” Raquel couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“Oh no,” Alicia continued, “you’re going home to a psychopath, hours after your shift ended, looking like you’ve either been involved in a hit and run, or released the people we’re holding on bail in return for sexual favours.”

“Perhaps your boyfriend left you because he couldn’t deal with so much honestly?” Raquel’s eyes shone with anger, growing more irritated as to how unmoved Alicia was.

“You’re not dumb, Raquel,” Alicia yanked the other woman closer to her, “I’m giving you a one-time opportunity to suffocate me with a pillow in my sleep, your colleagues wouldn’t think twice about it.”

“Wouldn’t that work both ways? Why should I trust you?” Raquel couldn’t help but slowly start to think she had lost.

“Oh no,” Alicia winked, lowering her tone in an insinuating manner, “I have much better uses for you.”

“From punchbag to prostitute, what an upgrade!” Raquel gritted her teeth, knowing each of the words which came out of her mouth were slowly bringing her to defeat.

“Prostitutes get paid.” Alicia heard an audible gasp at her comment, “I have to admit that I feel rather upset that selling your body seems more appealing than a romance with me.”

“Alicia,” Raquel looked at he woman, trying to get her attention.

“But then again,” she continued, purposely ignoring her, “I guess the police doesn’t exactly pay well, so getting some money on the side…”

“Alicia,” Raquel looked at her pleadingly, as the woman continued to mutter something at her, “Alicia, joder!”

The woman suddenly shut up, seeing the cracks in Raquel’s composure. Or perhaps that Raquel seemed to be fully shivering, not sure if from anger or from the cold. Alicia took her chance, and closed the remaining distance between the two, pulling Raquel in for a hug. She wrapped one of her arms around Raquel’s waist and pulled her closer, as she tangled the other hand in her hair. Raquel was taken by surprise, but couldn’t help closing her eyes as Alicia held her tightly.

“I just don’t want him to hurt you,” Alicia whispered against her skin, “I could not forgive myself sending you back to him in such a situation, knowing I could stop you.”

Perhaps it was the cold, or Raquel was simply so tired, she thought she heard Alicia’s voice tremble and her body tense, as if afraid she had said too much. She was right, Raquel knew it deep down. But she wasn’t used to people putting their hand in the fire for her. She didn’t want to just accept, too afraid to show how desperate she was. And this was Alicia. Alicia Sierra.

They remained there for a few minutes, until Alicia moved away, giving Raquel a reassuring smile. It seemed like they both favoured ignoring what had just had been said. Alicia once again grabbed her hand, and before Raquel could once again protest, she dragged her onto the other side of the street. Raquel was grateful for the silence that followed. She desperately wanted to clear up what had just happened in her head, but all she could think of was the warmth of Alicia’s hand pulling her towards safety.

It seemed weird, and initially, Raquel wanted to lash out. Her co-worker had no right to interfere in such a direct manner; it seemed so out of place, especially since neither of them ever had anything nice to say to one another. They weren’t even friends. Worse, she was probably one of the few actual enemies she had at work. What the fuck had this all been about?

On the other hand, Raquel had to admit she knew no one who had such a way with words like Alicia. She was something out of this world when it came to negotiation, and she faultlessly put words into people’s mouths without their littlest idea. And Alberto already hated Alicia with his gut. She knew for sure that if she called him and told him she confiscated her phone; he would believe her. One thing was for certain, this situation was something that no one would put past Alicia, and secondly, it was beyond doubt that she executed that phone call sounding like the authentic crazy bitch she made herself out to be.

Raquel let out a shaky breath as Alicia let go off her hand to open the door to a block of flats. As she heard the buzz, and the door to the building open, Raquel couldn’t help but admit as to how relieved she was.

Something else put a gentle smile on her face; the irony, how the running joke was that Alicia would be able to sleep soundly after committing a genocide. Yet she felt moved enough by a few bruises to get out of her way and kidnap Raquel for the night. There was something Raquel couldn’t help but like about her egoistical approach. Usually she was met with two types of different reactions; pity or lecture. Neither any good, she couldn’t decide which was worse. Probably pity, as there is nothing in the world which makes one feel so helpless. She needed strength, a hand to drag her up and out, not someone to keep drowning her in her sorrows. The other approach wasn’t ideal either. Both took away her autonomy of the situation, belittling her, as if by committing this fatal mistake she was no longer to be trusted with her own decisions. But then, these connoisseurs of such cases would disappear, leaving her too accurately aware of her shit situation, yet utterly alone.

Alicia’s approach had been a different one; it seemed like she couldn’t care less to delve into any factual detail, or even seem to be willing to speak about the topic. The fact she approached it so impersonally made Raquel feel almost offended, until she was hit with the absolutely liberating feeling of finally being trusted with navigating the situation on her own. Alicia didn’t approve of the situation enough to get Raquel out by force, but for the sake of her own sanity. The fucking bitch was a genius who knew the exact complexity of the situation; it made Raquel angry that she could read her so well, almost making her wish she would’ve just spent the next eternity calling her a “battered woman”. Raquel had become used to lectures, to looks of pity; she could defend herself from them easily enough. But no one had even tried to understand what she had gotten herself into. Alicia had established it immediately, and Raquel hated it, because it made her so vulnerable. Vulnerable, because she had to face the truth, which seemed to have echoed in between the lines of their silence. She knew the whole situation would probably not even be mentioned, but she could feel it hang heavy in the air.

The warmth of the inside of the building seemed to have a calming effect, which for a second stopped her helpless attempts to figure out how and why she was standing next to Alicia, waiting for a lift to her apartment. She vaguely remembered the whereabouts of Alicia’s place from the time when she was flicking through files for no reason, well, to waste time and avoid going home, more accurately. She was fairly sure this was her block, which all of a sudden seemed a lot more worrying to Raquel. It became apparent to her, that she felt far more comfortable with the idea of Alicia taking her to some organ harvesters, than her being nice to her. Far from nice. Understanding. Something Raquel didn’t know she needed so much. Not to mention affectionate. Perhaps the most worrying thing about the whole situation was that she could still feel the ghost of Alicia’s touch.

The lift door opened and Raquel followed Alicia inside. They hadn’t said a word since their initial conversation outside the station, which was making Raquel feel ever so slightly uneasy, but she couldn’t exactly put a finger on what the presence of this woman did to her.

The tension hung heavy in the air, but not one which Raquel could define. It seemed like a personal hobby of Alicia to create tension; her presence was one that simply couldn’t be ignored. Not to mention, it sometimes seemed like Alicia had chosen her line of work solely to provoke all the macho complex officers around her. Her talks of orgasms, sex, and the female anatomy were amongst her favourite topics, always creating such an uneasy atmosphere, and faultlessly shutting everyone up. Raquel could never tell what she actually believed in, and what she simply said to provoke her co-workers. But it seemed that even without the need of words, there tension between the two women seemed to be growing. It was impossible for either of them to ignore how the temperature inside the lift seemed to be increasing.

Being locked up in such a small space with Alicia didn’t seem like a great idea. There was always tension when they were together in the room, and their colleagues made it their duty to keep them as far away from each other as possible, for everyone’s safety. It all started when they were sitting next to each other in a meeting; Alicia said something in her usual smart-ass way, but this time Raquel was having none of it. She ‘accidentally’ spilled her coffee all over Alicia’s top. Without missing a beat, Alicia immediately threw the remains of her salad at Raquel. Long story short, everyone now has to hand in their guns and weapons before meetings to avoid serious property damage.

But alone and outside of a work situation, the tension between them seems ever so slightly different. She could sense Alicia feels it too, as Raquel saw her narrow her eyes in the mirror, something she always did when she was deep in thought. It’s unbearable, and Raquel doesn’t know if she feels like she’s suffocating because of the atmosphere or the strong scent of Alicia’s vanilla and sandalwood perfume; it seems intoxicating. She can feel the adrenaline running through her veins, as she can’t quite tell if, or perhaps when, Alicia is going to shove her against the wall to stab her or to fuck her. Or both. As Alicia brushes the back of her gently against hers, she prays she’s reaching for a knife.

“I was thinking of putting up my portrait in this lift,” Alicia said casually, as if sensing the need to lighten the mood.

The comment was so rouge, yet so undeniably Alicia, Raquel couldn’t help but laugh. For the first time, in a long time, she was genuinely amused by something other than how pathetic she is or ketchup.

“Like what, lift user of the month?” Raquel raised her eyebrow, looking at Alicia, who seemed amused, yet with a note of seriousness, clearly having thought through her idea.

The two women were standing side by side, both looking at each other through the mirror image. Alicia smiled slyly, as she turned to face Raquel, who was still looking ahead. Alicia gently tucked a piece of hair behind Raquel’s ear, and moved closer, to whisper her response.

“No,” Alicia paused, making sure to get impossibly closer, “like a god.”

Alicia whisper was barely audible, yet her voice sounded as if it was liquid honey. Raquel let out a shattered exhale, as she watched Alicia bite her bottom lip in the reflection. Raquel’s eyes were glued to the mirror, watching with anticipation, as Alicia then proceeded to bring her hand up to the side of her face, her fingertips nearly brushing her skin, daring Raquel to lean into her touch. Just as before, Raquel didn’t fully recognise the girl in the mirror; not when she watched her eyes darken, or saw how her lips parted. Raquel couldn’t put a name to the manner in which she observed Alicia looking at her, yet the intensity of it was intoxicating. As she could feel Alicia slowly moving her hand away, for some reason, perhaps because the whole situation had made her lightheaded, she roughly brushed her lips against Alicia’s hand. She had no idea what had gotten into her, her eyes tightly shut, as for what seemed like an eternity, her lips were pressed against Alicia’s delicate skin. Raquel, having recovered from her moment of madness, swiftly turned back to face forward, almost regretting how forward she had been to Alicia’s attempts to push her boundaries. Almost. The other woman clearly was caught off guard, as Raquel heard how her breathing became all of a sudden faster and uneven. Raquel saw Alicia glimpse at her in the mirror, smirking, clearly impressed, making Raquel turn a shade of crimson, as she simply couldn’t explain her impulsiveness. It seemed inexplicable to her. Yet, she couldn’t look away as she followed Alicia’s fingers in the reflection, as they delicately traced down the curve of her neck. Raquel shivered as the warmth of Alicia’s body gently pressed against her, lead her to the realisation of the realness of the scene unfolding in front of her. Raquel could feel the lift coming to a stop, yet Alicia didn’t move an inch, fully aware of the show she was putting on in the mirror. This realisation made Raquel’s stomach stir, it was something so innocent yet at the same time voyeuristic, almost pornographic. She swallowed hard; she thought for a second, she might even start to like the girl in the mirror standing next to Alicia.

The image was shattered as the lift door finally opened, after something that seemed almost an eternity, and Alicia grabbed Raquel’s hand, dragging her out.


	2. Light and Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Thank you soo much for all the wonderful comments and kudos; I couldn't be more grateful. Sorry for taking ages to update - this chapter was a roller-coaster - I hope it was worth the wait.
> 
> A few quick comments - lcdp seems to keep the languages the actors speak etc. cannon; I have decided to do so too; Alicia can therefore speak Arabic etc. (probs figured out it was gonna link in from the title anyhowsss but just mentioning it) lol
> 
> This chapter does explore the topic of domestic violence in a bit more depth; read at your own risk - if its not your thing, wouldn't really recommend 
> 
> There are depictions of violence in this chapter; it is not Alberto/Raquel violence tho; (however, that is discussed, mentioned and analysed - as yall have probs figured from the previous chapter etc.)
> 
> For all the people out there who haven't watched Vis a Vis, I recommend you listen to something ;D - it will enhance your experience lol  
> \--- At one point in there I've included a traditional Lebanese Lullaby;  
> This was adapted for Vis a Vis with the lyrics ever so slightly changed, so I'm gonna put the link to the original one here, as well as Najwa singing it (ya know, in such a beautiful voice) - so that when you eventually get to it, the words will sorta lift off the page.
> 
> Najwa (vis a vis) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jb-ltBZ8Mpw  
> Fairouz - Yalla tnam (original) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vhEbq4u5QE

Raquel swirled the colourless liquid in her glass. Her evening couldn’t have gotten any stranger. She sighed as she took a sip of the vodka. She was sitting in Alicia’s bathtub, her knees pressed against her chest; parallel to the door opposite, waiting for Alicia to come back in. The warm water loosened some of the tension from her muscles, and the foam surrounding her made her internally smile; she felt like a child. And perhaps she also discovered the secret to Alicia’s soft as fuck skin, with the amount of bath salts which she poured into the water, Raquel thought she might dissolve. The smell was so sweet it was almost sickly and somehow it was exactly what she expected of Alicia.

What she hadn’t expected however, was what happened right before. She was fooled into thinking that Alicia might be a bit more relaxed in her own house, but promptly realised that it was Raquel who was on enemy grounds. The relentless game continued. Even if Alicia had done her the favour of dragging her out of her personal hell by force, she wasn’t going to receive any special treatment. Good. But what Raquel was getting fed up of was how Alicia seemed to look down at her. She said one thing, however her body said another and there was yet a different hidden meaning behind her eyes; it was infuriating. She was being nice yet pushing her away at the same time, almost as if she didn’t know what she wanted herself.

Raquel kept swirling the liquid around; perhaps it was something else. Before Alicia decided to once again grab her hand and take her to the bathroom, Raquel took a good look at all the books Alicia had on the bookshelf in her living room. She grabbed an impressive black hardback with a golden title in Arabic. As she opened the book, many photos scattered onto the floor. She started looking through them, one by one; the protagonist of each shot was a beautiful black-haired girl. It took her a moment to realise that it might actually be Alicia; she had never seen her smile like she was smiling in the photos. She seemed happy. Blissfully happy. One photo caught her eye, the young Alicia and next to her an equally handsome boy. Before she had the opportunity to continue looking through the rest of the photos, Alicia reappeared, having initially decided to generously chuck Raquel’s shirt in the washing machine. Raquel’s discovery had clearly deeply disturbed Alicia who immediately snapped at her, but before Raquel even had a chance to fight back, she grabbed her hand and lead her to the bathroom. Initially Raquel thought her life was coming to an end in a rather unconventional way; drowned in the toilet. However, she noticed that Alicia’s hand was shaking, and perhaps she simply wanted to get away from the pandora’s box Raquel had opened. The topic ended when Alicia wanted it to end, but the utter distress of the woman as she frantically scattered all the salts into the bath made Raquel halt. It wasn’t going to end like Alicia wanted it to, but Raquel knew she had to approach this in a different way. It’s not like she cared. She quite frankly didn’t care at all. She needed the information to not fall back, to maintain the status quo. Alicia already knew way too much. And Raquel would not allow it.

The door slammed open, making Raquel jump. Alicia changed like the weather, just like a summer storm, within a few moments all the clouds were gone, and she was in the best of moods. She had changed into something more comfortable; a black cropped vest, displaying a generous amount of skin, and matching black shorts. In one hand she had a glass, in the other a bottle, and an unlit cigarette in between her crimson lips. Her red hair, let down from her high ponytail, just about touching her shoulders, was a disarray. She looked carefree, and a lot younger than Raquel was used to seeing her at work. She didn’t notice that she was staring until she heard Alicia scoff and raise her eyebrow. Raquel rolled her eyes. It was the bottle of vodka she was staring at, of course. It was different from the one Alicia originally poured her a drink from; Raquel reached the conclusion that this either meant that Alicia didn’t drink at all, or perhaps, that she drank too much.

Alicia chucked the glass into the sink, carelessly, not seeming to care much if it smashed. With her free hand she lit her cigarette and took a long drag. She stared at Raquel for a few short seconds, before lying down on her back on the cold bathroom tiles. The silence started to become too comfortable, so Raquel decided to break it. She wasn’t going to give Alicia the satisfaction of dropping the discovery of her mysterious past, quite so easily.

“What’s his name?” Raquel asked, “the boy in that photo.”

Alicia lifted herself up to rest on her elbows, still lying on the floor. She was looking at Raquel with an unreadable expression.

“None of your business,” she finally spoke, taking another sip from the bottle. It was exactly what Raquel had expected; there was a mischievous spark in her eye, she was going to have a go at this.

“Oh come on Alicia, you slept with half of the academy,” her lips formed into a smirk, “and nearly got kicked out for fucking one of the professors in a lecture theatre; are you really not going to give me the name of the boy you lost your virginity to?”

“Despite the fact my reputation seems to proceed me, I enjoy a little privacy,” Alicia didn’t miss a beat, which angered Raquel even more, “I know for someone who published their sex tape, it can be hard to understand.”

“Firstly, it wasn’t exactly published,” Raquel said raising her eyebrows, “and it’s painfully ironic you care enough to know about it.”

“Not exactly my fault your best friend included it in their dorms movie night,” Alicia said smiling.

“And from what I remember you weren’t fucking him yet,” Raquel continued, “so you must’ve secretly snuck in to watch it for my sake.”

Alicia shook her head as she got up and kneeled in front of the bath. She grabbed Raquel’s chin and roughly pulled her forward. Alicia slowly run her thumb along Raquel’s bottom lip. She looked up at her, a spark of danger in her eyes; the only warning Raquel was going to get before the next blow. Alicia looked back at her lips, and roughly parted them with her thumb, digging her nail into Raquel’s bottom lip. Alicia snorted as she heard Raquel hiss in annoyance.

“For you? Surely then if it was love and desire which made me watch it for you…” Alicia paused, seeing the anger rise in Raquel’s eyes. Her body visibly tensed with Alicia’s hand still held her close enough for their breaths to mingle, their lips millimetres away, “then your darling husband must’ve wanted to watch it for the same reason too. But he doesn’t know it exists, does he?”

Raquel didn’t answer, knowing full well there is no point of even trying to deny it.

“That’s what I thought, so tell me Raquel,” Alicia finally let go of her face, probably sensing that it is a bad idea to remain in the proximity of Raquel, of course, because of what she was about to say, “why doesn’t he know?”

Raquel felt her blood boil, she couldn’t believe how badly things had backfired. She didn’t realise Alicia gave a care in the world about that tape. The worst thing was that Raquel knew she clearly didn’t. Raquel had attacked her reputation and she retaliated; it should’ve been expected. She didn’t expect that her implying Alicia had an ulterior motive to seeing the damned video would be taken so personally. She thought she’d laugh it off, say something about how shit it was; but bringing Alberto into this? Raquel bit back a laugh; but of course, she realised, it didn’t have anything to do with whatever Raquel implied. It was the fact Raquel wanted to delve into Alicia’s life after she cut her off. She dared to pick up the topic again, and didn’t obey the order of silence. Alicia was doing exactly what she though she might do. Let the conversation lose until the opportunity arose to put Raquel right back into her place. To remind her she wasn’t allowed the privilege of asking Alicia such questions. The price she had to pay, the punishment for wanting more, was the painful reminder that Alicia had the upper hand and wasn’t afraid to use it. The realisation dawned on Raquel that it was far from a means to be cruel, even though Alicia did her best to make it out to be. Maybe it was the alcohol or the littlest of hesitations she saw in Alicia’s eyes; it was simply a defence mechanism.

“I’ll tell you why,” Alicia’s voice brought her back to reality, “because he’d probably beat you to that rhythm, or perhaps he’ll even try to—”

Alicia didn’t get to finish her sentence as the sound of shattering glass echoed through the bathroom. Alicia looked at Raquel before looking back at the door behind her, and the remains of vodka dripping down the door. The glass had missed her by a centimetre, and she had no idea if Raquel’s aim was off or if it was simply a warning. From the mix of emotions in Raquel’s eyes, it seemed she didn’t know who she wanted to hurt more, Alicia or herself. After the initial moment of shock, Alicia couldn’t help but smile. If Raquel was already angry, this just made her furious. She half wished that she actually hit the woman; it was meant to scare her, anger her, annoy her. And? And she seemed fucking impressed, almost proud. Clearly Alicia was the only person fucked up enough to be impressed at someone trying to knock her out. But Raquel knew this, however much she wanted, she couldn’t deny she knew this. Their arguments on the daily involve a lot of fighting and throwing things (a stapler today) and she knew very well that the woman in front of her respected anyone who was willing to put up a fight more than a coward. But they were outside of work, outside of that environment. Her need to shut Alicia the fuck up seemed almost primal. She hated her for it. She really brought out the animal in her. She though it seemed to be Alicia’s aim. And even if it wasn’t, she was sure that Alicia would approve of it, making it almost encouraging. Raquel didn’t know she had so much rage in her until Alicia provoked her. And there she was smiling, and all Raquel could think of was scratching that smile off her face. As if she couldn’t keep her hands to herself when she was around the other woman. And that’s one thing she couldn’t allow herself. Lack of control. 

Alicia simply laughed and lay back down on the floor, as if she could read exactly what was going through Raquel’s mind. She retrieved the cigarette she dropped when she moved towards Raquel, and proceeded to relight it. Raquel simply sighed; she had her best attempt at trying to get something out of Alicia, which simply resulted in losing the drink she was enjoying and being confronted with her darker side. And she was far too tired of everything to keep putting up a fight. The silence seemed to drain some of the tension from the air.

“Almir,” Alicia surprisingly broke the silence, without moving an inch, staring at the celling, “his name was Almir, he was my best friend and then my first love.”

Now Raquel wasn’t expecting that. Perhaps throwing her glass at Alicia wasn’t that bad of an idea, making her finally reconsider the way she treated Raquel.

“And what happened?” Raquel questioned, no longer caring if Alicia would bother to reply. Simply making civilised conversation. As if that was possible between the two.

“He is in prison,” Alicia continued and Raquel couldn’t help but laugh, “what?”

“You never fail to surprise me,” Raquel was shaking her head, “of course out of all people you’d have an ex-lover in prison. How long?”

“How long what?” Alicia asked, clearly trying to avoid the question.

“You seem to care enough about him to know where he is,” Raquel continued, “how long is he in prison for?”

“I don’t know,” she could see Alicia swallow and her eyes flicker shut. Raquel was about to ask her again, but in the way her body stiffened, she could tell that what Alicia said was true. She didn’t know, but it seemed not because she didn’t care to know, but because there was something more to it. A chill run-down Raquel’s spine; she was starting to get the feeling she was asking questions from which there would be no return.

“What did he do?”, and there it went, Raquel’s last chance of walking out of the apartment and never thinking of this night again.

The deafening silence which followed signalled two things; either Alicia was giving her the last chance to walk out of here with no consequences, or she was asking the wrong question. Her inspector train of thought went with the latter.

“What did you do?” the question sounded more like a statement; it terrified Raquel how convincing her voice sounded.

Nothing.

“See, Alicia,” Raquel continued, feeling as if she was digging her own grave, “you’re not like me; not exactly, you don’t choose to associate yourself with men who would use you - violent men. The boy didn’t look much of the prison type, either. Of course, everyone can be wrong, look at me with Alberto. Not you. You knew it. You don’t seem to be the sentimental type which cries over spilt milk, either. Meaning, you know the boy is in prison because you were there at the time. And something, perhaps because no one has ever touched that part of your life, doesn’t add up from your reaction.”

Still nothing.

“He’s not in prison for what he did, is he?” Raquel was enjoying playing the detective, “and the only reason you’re here and he’s there, is because he was in love. Because he was stupid enough to believe you wouldn’t betray him.”

There it was.

It took a moment for Raquel’s head to painfully slam against the wall behind her, Alicia’s hand tightly around her throat. She could feel the air slowly failing to reach her lungs, as Alicia’s grip was tightening, bruising the delicate skin of Raquel’s neck. And Raquel smiled. As if a second ago she all that she could think of was how fucked up Alicia’s reaction was, she seemed to be doing the exact same thing. It seemed only Alicia had the ability to bring out this savage nature in her. But at the same time, she completely understood. It felt intoxicating; however much more Alicia tightened her hand around her throat, however much physical pain she would inflict on her, it was nothing in comparison to the suffocating feeling of anger caused by Raquel’s words. She wrapped her wrist around Alicia’s hand and squeezed with equal force. For the first time in her life, in a situation of violence in which she was physically helpless, she felt she had the upper hand. Her smile widened; she was going insane. She couldn’t help but feel like her provocation had been a total success. The hailed status quo had been restored; Raquel, even if only once, if only accidentally, could also bring out Alicia’s animalistic side.

But what was most fucked up in the situation was Raquel’s slow realisation of the very thin, yet surprisingly existing, difference between violence and abuse. Alberto took pleasure in hitting her, he liked being cruel, but without the expert’s eye, it was impossible to tell he was a violent man. Alicia, however, was the incarnation of violence. She wasn’t afraid of it, used it as a means to get her way. Yet her hand around Raquel’s throat didn’t feel cruel. Not in the way Alberto’s did. Because Alicia was looking at her yet not seeing; it wasn’t Raquel’s throat she was tightening her hand around, it was her own. She was acting upon instinct; it was a learnt behaviour rather than nature. Raquel had been hit far too many times by Alberto to see right through Alicia’s façade of cruelty.

It was only when Raquel’s eyes flickered shut, Alicia regained her self-control and loosened her grip of Raquel’s neck. She was about to unwrap her hand from around Raquel’s throat, yet Raquel held her hand there. Her iron grip around Alicia’s wrist seemed to be her only grounding force, and Alicia instinctively moved forward pressing their foreheads together. Both of the women were panting from exhaustion. Alicia delicately traced Raquel’s skin with her thumb, drawing circles where she could feel the other woman’s pulse racing. Raquel knew it was far from an apology; the closest she’ll get to a sign of surrender. How wonderfully fucked up. What is she even doing here? And it was that thought which caused her to laugh, gently, almost quietly. She opened her eyes to see Alicia looking at her intensely, her eyes sparkling with an unknown emotion; the concern Raquel saw painted over her face seemed better than an apology. For the first time Raquel had gotten a closer look at Alicia’s eyes; they were a deep brown. Like whiskey. All of sudden Raquel wondered if it was the vodka she was drunk off. And Alicia laughed, genuinely laughed. Raquel hated to admit it, but she has never seen her more beautiful; her hair a mess, makeup smudged, and ironically, her hand around her throat. But she was laughing, their foreheads were pressed together and their lips almost touching. It was intoxicating. And liberating. She forgot about everything, and for a moment, in a very long time, she was happy. How pathetic. Raquel couldn’t seem to put her life in perspective for a long time; she needed the realisation that her enemy nearly strangling her to death in a bathtub was one of her happiest moment in past few months, to really come to terms with how bad things have been.

They remained like that laughing, drinking each other’s closeness, for a few more moments until Raquel let go of Alicia’s wrist and the women parted. Despite the lightness of the moment, both of them knew the that what had passed between them was of an opposing nature. They reached a point of no return. Both of them knew they now shared something; a secret of the past, a simple detail, with no names, evidence, yet all the emotions to confirm Raquel’s worst fears. They had been bound together.

Alicia grabbed the bottle and took a very long swing. She handed Raquel the bottle, who promptly followed her example. Alicia grabbed the pack of cigarettes, lit one, put the packet on the ledge of the bathtub, and to Raquel’s surprise, got into the bath. She didn’t bother taking her clothes off and simply shrugged as Raquel gave her a questioning look. Raquel hadn’t moved from the centre, her legs once again pressed to her chest, she turned her head around, and gently pressed her cheek to her knees, as she looked at Alicia. She had settled at the end of the tub and stretched her legs out as far as Raquel was. She took a drag of her cigarette and leaned her head against the wall behind her. The mayhem of the past few minutes had completely cleared the tension in the air, and the two women simply sat in the almost cold water, enjoying the silence. 

“He bought me that book,” Alicia surprisingly broke the silence, her eyes closed, “it was my childhood favourite; One thousand and one nights.”

Raquel continued looking at her. She wasn’t expecting Alicia to share something like that with her. It was a pleasant surprise. Yet there was something which was bothering Raquel. It had been bothering her since the moment Alicia grabbed her hand at the carpark. She took a big sip of the vodka, before putting it on the other ledge of the bathtub. The alcohol seemed to go straight to her head, giving her the confidence to finally ask what she wanted to ask all night.

“It was my only fond memory of my childhood,” Alicia continued, “my mum would read it to me every night.”

“Why am I really here?” Alicia’s eyes flicked open. Unreadable, but their blackness sucking in their moment of newfound tranquillity like a black hole. She wished she had bitten her tongue. The fucking alcohol.

“So that you could have a night away from your loving husband, of course,” Alicia said, rolling her eye, as if it had been the most obvious answer, to which Raquel scoffed; Alicia narrowed her eyes, she didn’t like where this is going.

“It’s not like you didn’t know about all of this before,” Raquel continued.

“It’s not like there isn’t anyone who doesn’t know,” Alicia looked at her amused, chucking the end of her cigarette into the sink, “so what is your point?”

“You stare too much,” Raquel stated, looking forwards.

“What?” Alicia raised her eyebrow and scoffed, “and I think you’ve had far too much to drink.”

“Before, when it was really bad,” Raquel’s voice seemed unnaturally tranquil, as if it was something she’d been rehearsing in her head for a long time, “I’d scrunch my eyes shut in pain when attempting to sit down at my desk, because it would be almost impossible. Every time I looked up to see if someone saw, you’d be staring.”

Raquel looked at her, and Alicia immediately looked down, not knowing what she feared more in seeing; accusation or question. The silence prevailed, prompting Raquel to continue.

“All the littlest of bruises, cuts on my hands,” Raquel’s tone was annoyingly calm, “you saw everything and fuck, you did observe it in detail. You didn’t need any of the gossip as you had figured everything out yourself.”

Alicia dared to look up, her face still unreadable, waiting for Raquel to make her accusation.

“Why today?” She asked simply, as if all the mysteries of the world lay in that one question, “why today?”

“Because I ordered the execution of your husband today,” Alicia said seriously, dismissing the urgency in Raquel’s voice.

“We both know you’d do it yourself,” Raquel continued, ignoring Alicia’s tone, “tell me.”

“Weren’t you the genius who deduced that I don’t like getting my hands dirty a few minutes ago?” Alicia bit back, clearly starting to get annoyed.

“Honestly, it didn’t really feel like it,” Raquel replied with a vicious smile, to which Alicia rolled her eyes.

Raquel, saw however, that what she said, did indeed managed to move Alicia. It was that reminder of her loss of self-control; Alicia never lost her self-control. Raquel knew it was a challenge; she wasn’t demanding an apology or something to make up for it. She was demanding Alicia to be fair. Something for something. And she knew this was exactly how Alicia worked. When she saw the woman smile at her in annoyance and sigh, she knew she would finally answer the godforsaken question.

"I thought,” Alicia took a deep breath, “I thought he’d eventually hit you a bit harder and you’d leave. Initially.”

“Initially?” Raquel raised her eyebrow; Alicia snorted and shook her head.

“Then, after the whole hospital incident it started to get suspicious,” Alicia answered, “and I slowly realised that the issue was different to the one I initially assumed.”

Alicia paused. Hesitated. Raquel wondered what was going through her mind. She laughed internally, knowing full well she was trying to figure how to frame the situation to make it obvious she didn’t care.

“And tonight, you reminded me of someone,” Alicia said, almost inaudibly, “and I realised you were going to get yourself killed.”

Raquel looked at her puzzled, prompting her to continue.

“You were going to die at hands which weren’t my own,” Alicia smirked, “and I couldn’t allow that.”

“And you could sense he was going to kill me tonight?” Raquel snorted, still unable to understand Alicia’s logic.

“No, I said you were going to get yourself killed,” Alicia took a deep breath, and slowly moved closer to Raquel, gently tracing her fingertips around the bruise on her shoulder, “you can take violence.”

What Alicia did next Raquel didn’t expect at all; she put both of her hands on her shoulders, prompting her to turn around. Raquel had no idea what was going on, as if the gentle touch had completely taken away her ability to think straight. It felt like she was in a trance. Raquel allowed herself to follow Alicia’s lead, not knowing if she was more confused as to what Alicia was doing or what she had said a second ago. Raquel felt Alicia’s hands wrap around her waist and pull her back, flush against her body. Raquel didn’t even realise a sigh escaped her lips at the contact with the other woman’s body. Perhaps it was the fact the water was already cold, and she found the warmth of Alicia’s body surprisingly comforting. Or maybe it was the fact that the warmth was simply another thing which indicated Alicia was actually human. Alicia’s chin rested on her shoulder, and she could feel her steady breath on her neck. She found herself trapped between Alicia’s legs, which still stretched out in front of her, intertwined with Raquel’s. It seemed to be some sick and sorry excuse of an embrace, but they were both far too drunk and tried to care. With that thought Raquel leaned back, brining them impossibly closer, hot skin against skin, making the most of the comfort it surprisingly gave her. Feeling her relax, Alicia tightened her grip around her waist, bringing her lips to her shoulder, touching them against her skin, close, but not quite a kiss. Raquel hated how weak it made her feel. It made her so angry with herself. She hated the woman, but what she hated most was how she couldn’t bring herself to push Alicia away and couldn’t control the almost primal desire to stop her body wanting more of her touch. It wasn’t healthy.

“You’re stupid and stubborn,” Alicia whispered into her skin, like a prayer. Perhaps if Alicia wasn’t clinging to her as if she was drowning, Raquel would’ve believed her.

She felt Alicia’s lips at her neck, in the spot the woman had previously tightened her hand around, still tender from the vicious pressure. This time she felt the woman press a chaste kiss to the slightly reddened bit of skin of her neck. Alicia felt Raquel’s body tense, but not struggle. Raquel, let out a shattered breath, realising that this must be the very feeling of madness.

“You’re not weak at all,” her lips still pressed against that place on her neck in an almost perverse manner, “and every time you want to prove to yourself that you can take it. Without realising you’re not weak, you become a bigger danger to yourself than he ever will be.”

Raquel swallowed. Perhaps there was some truth in those words. She would let herself be thrown down the stairs hundreds of times if it stopped Alberto touching her daughter. She worked in a place which constantly required her to show that she could take things. Why hadn’t she reported him? Because she could take what it required for him to change. Alicia was right; her biggest strength in this case, was her downfall. She laughed, hollow.

“Why do I feel broken?” Raquel could hear her voice shake, “if it’s the violence I can take?”

Alicia moved away ever so slightly, enough to cause Raquel to suppress a moan at the loss of contact. She couldn’t help but smile internally; Alicia was becoming her most hated distraction. She felt as if she was once again about to fall apart because of her situation, but her mind seemed to blow the fuse the moment the warmth of Alicia only fractionally decreased in its intensity. This was becoming dangerous.

Alicia slowly started tracing her fingertips around the bruises on her back with one hand, the other still tightly around Raquel’s waist. She could hear her sigh, wondering if she was going to get a response. Alicia’s softness had lasted an unusual amount of time, but deep down the woman knew it was highly influenced by the alcohol. Maybe she wanted Raquel to answer that question herself. Raquel’s eyes flickered shut as she felt Alicia’s lips once again come in contact with her skin. She pressed a kiss onto the bruise she had traced with her fingertips a moment ago. This time it wasn’t so chaste.

“Because affection breaks you,” Alicia whispered another secret against her skin, “you can take his screams but not his crying. You’ve made yourself believe that only the hands which destroy you can put you back together.”

Alicia continued tracing her fingertips around the next bruise, letting the words which had just been said hang heavy in the air between them. She wasn’t wrong. Raquel hated her for it. And she hated the way she continued to trace her fingers over every bruise and scar, unrepentant. As if she was trying to prove to Raquel exactly how affection could tear her apart.

“My mum would always do this when I had a bruise,” Alicia broke the silence, trailing her finger over another patch of wine stained skin, her lips followed, burning her skin more with each consecutive kiss. Raquel could feel her eyes glaze, the softness of Alicia’s touch was unbearable; she wished she was scathing at her with anger instead. A bitter laugh. There it was. Alicia was right.

Raquel didn’t realise she was crying until she saw the littlest of ruptures crack the surface of the water in front of her. She didn’t know how long it was since anything had been said. It seemed like an eternity, or perhaps a single second. Raquel concluded that exactly this, was insanity. Alicia’s touch numbed her from the world around her. She had lost track of time, it could’ve been an hour, two, since Alicia first pressed her lips to her skin. Raquel felt as if the woman truly had the power to skin her alive just with her touch. It was intoxicating. But at the same time, she felt a lump in her throat as she could tell exactly what Alicia was doing. They still hated each other; they both knew that that wouldn’t change. But for a moment they had reached a neutral ground; put aside their differences to deal with something far more important. She was doing it because she knew. Alicia touched, kissed, caressed every millimetre of Raquel’s skin she could reach, but it was far from sexual, to an extent even far from affectionate. Perhaps the closest to what it was, was possessive. Alberto was the last one who touched her skin. He was the last one to have caressed her, hurt her. And every time he’d come to her begging for her apology, his hands would mark her skin with their delicate touches. He’d be the one to kiss the injuries he caused with his own hands. And even though she’d fall back into his arms every time, she’d go to the bathroom and scream as she turned the shower on to the hottest setting, praying that the boiling water would burn away his touch. In a similar way she’d run herself a bath and scratch her skin till it was bleeding, discolouring the white foam around her. How desperately she wanted to claim back her possession of her own skin, and how desperately she failed, always feeling the haunting ghost of his painfully gentle touch. And Alicia knew. She was touching her to erase his touch. It wasn’t sexual, affectionate. She was doing what Raquel couldn’t do. To give her the tranquillity of knowing her husband wasn’t the last one to have touched her. To take away his solitary claim of Raquel’s skin. So the next time he would touch her she could marvel in the memory of a different foreign touch burning trails of soft kisses along the back of her neck, whispering secrets, honeyed nothings into her skin. And it was at that point when Raquel couldn’t hold back the flood of tears. Alicia wasn’t doing this to prove her point, she was doing it to save her from his affection. She was saving her from what broke her.

Alicia twisted her fingers through Raquel’s hair, forcing her to turn her body towards her, gently scooping her to sit on her lap. Raquel grabbed a fistful of the Alicia’s vest, burring her face in her chest. Alicia held her tightly against her, one hand around her waist, the other still tangled in her hair, as she placed a rough kiss on top of her head. All of Raquel’s defences were gone, she let herself shatter like she had never done before, crumbling into a million pieces at the feet of her enemy. Yet Alicia held her even though she didn’t have to, even though it was outside their unspoken agreement.

“Yalla tnam…” Alicia sang, in almost a whisper, “yalla yalla habib…”

Alicia’s voice had an unimaginable power to calm her down. Slowly her tears subsided, and she closed her eyes. Time had stopped. All she could hear was Alicia’s voice. But it wasn’t the Alicia she knew; it was the Alicia she saw on those photos. The Alicia of one thousand and one nights. The lullaby was not of this world. She could hear it echoing through the deserts, breaking the silence of the starlit sky. And she could see the beautiful black-hair girl, sitting on the rock surrounded by infinite stretches of sand, letting it be carried away by the wind. It was a broken song. And that Alicia was long gone. It was only then, when Raquel realised, that Alicia had crumbled to pieces alongside her, allowing Raquel to take a piece with her.

In the tale of One Thousand and One Nights, the King decides to execute each woman he marries. One brave woman, Scheherazade, volunteers. She begins telling the King a tale, but ends it in the middle, forcing the King to postpone her execution till the next day. The following night she does the same thing. And for a thousand nights more, until her life is pardoned.

Alicia lay in bed, her arms tightly around Raquel, their legs tangled together. She looked at Raquel sleeping calmly beside her. She seemed almost angelic. Alicia smirked; she was getting sentimental. She observed the rise and fall of Raquel’s chest, the peacefulness on her face – finally far from the pain she saw painted on it before. It wasn’t a lie when Alicia said she was helping Raquel in her own interest. In the bathroom, she saw a little girl which she so very often saw in her dreams. The little girl with jet black hair and an enigmatic smile, whose image was fresh in Alicia’s mind, having seen the photos she couldn’t bring herself to throw away. The little girl who she tries to countlessly save from the cruel hands to which she always returns to. And no matter how much she screams and shouts, the little girl in her dreams can never hear her. That is the most haunting part of the nightmares. Helplessness. She knew it was too late to help the girl in her nightmares, but she could help the little girl saw in the bathroom. It was selfish. Because by helping Raquel, deep down, Alicia hoped she could save herself. In the end, Raquel turned out to be more similar to the little girl than she could’ve imagined. She ended up getting under her skin, opening chapters of her life she had shut a long time ago. Over her dead body would she ever admit to it. But she did fall. Because when she kissed Raquel’s skin, she hoped she could erase all the marks on it. Because she held her tightly singing words which she swore she would never pronounce again. She allowed herself to break. Even for a moment, to unbecome, because the woman in her arms, with too much ease, tore down the mask she was trying to hide herself under.

Alicia gently tucked a piece of hair behind Raquel’s ear. How foolish of her to underestimate her so much. She smiled. Before she thought she knew who the King and Scheherazade were in their story. Now looking at Raquel, she wondered who spared whose life. She closed her eyes, knowing full well she won’t sleep.

In the end, they have a thousand more nights to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope yall liked it; would love to hear what you thought - I know it's a bit problematic lol 
> 
> I have a potential idea to continue this; would yall be interested???
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and commentinggg <3333


	3. Comedy Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello again! Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos; I'm not even kidding when I say they mean the world to me. And it's exactly why I've decided to continue <3 
> 
> I feel every chapter is written in such a different style lmao I hope you guys don't mind ~ mainly because of the content, this is more actiony?? idk lol (Plus this one is mainly Alicia's perspective; she doesn't really like to reveal much, even if its her pov...)
> 
> Enjoyyy I'd love to know what you think, where you think things are going, ALSO its the first proper chapter from mostly Alicia's perspective - please do tell me if it seems ooc etc.
> 
> Lil warning; a lot of blood and injuries in this one; apparently this is becoming a common theme
> 
> sorry if there are any grammar errors etc. please let me know!

Thursday night was comedy night. It was the night Alicia would pour herself a glass of wine, or perhaps two, and watch some mediocre acting to keep her entertained. She always started work later on Fridays, so she used this as a perfect excuse to ‘relax’, even though in most cases she knew the movie would probably turn out shit and that she’d end up waking up early anyhow. But it became a strange tradition, so having finished dinner Alicia decided to put on some trackies and settled in front of the tv.

It was less than ten minutes into the movie when she heard banging on the door. Great. It was nearly ten, meaning this could mean nothing good. She snorted at the irony; she felt almost relieved. The movie was most defiantly going to be shit.

She opened the door to a rather nasty sight. Raquel Murillo stood, just like she did two weeks ago, in front of her apartment. Her face looked a state; her eyebrow ridge had suffered from a rather harsh blow, same could be deduced from her split lip. The dried blood on her cheek didn’t make a pretty sight. What worried Alicia most was the way Raquel clutched onto her side; the blood having soaked material of her tee-shirt was already forming a puddle by the doormat. Alicia frowned; she didn’t have a great reputation with her neighbours, the last thing she needed was a trial of blood leading to her fucking doorstep. Raquel didn’t even notice the frown, as unlike two weeks ago, she crossed the threshold to the apartment without the littlest of hesitation, shoving right past Alicia.

She went straight for the cigarette packet which was on the kitchen counter, and lit one off of the stove. Raquel leaned back against the counter, taking a long drag, momentarily feeling some sort of relief. Alicia, having done her best to whip the blood with the doormat, appeared in the kitchen; her eyes narrow, unreadable, staring at Raquel.

“I’m getting a divorce; to celebrate I went on a cycle and fell off my bike,” Raquel said in a serious tone, and somehow, both of the women burst out laughing, “multiple times. I’m shit at cycling.”

“And you happened to be cycling around my block,” Alicia opened her alcohol cupboard and proceeded to pour Raquel some vodka, “which is a rather long distance from your house…?”

“I was training long distance cycling,” Raquel’s voice was visibly strained, and she smiled as Alicia handed her the drink, “and its your fucking demon energy which made me fall off right here, so I thought I might as well come to complain.”

Alicia snorted and she looked at Raquel with an enigmatic smile.

Since the night they spent together, things had been different. Not exactly in the better way. Before their rivalry was almost a form of entertainment, getting the better of each other; a shot of adrenaline during a meeting. It hadn’t been anything of a deeper meaning. Things had changed. Raquel had made a rather inconvenient discovery, which, Alicia, for a fact knew, she wouldn’t let go. Even if her initial intentions to find more information might be innocent, Alicia knew that sooner or later things would get messy. From a playful game, it had become a serious one. It was no longer a question if one of them would stab the other in the back; now, it was simply a matter of time. If possible, they had become more intense. They seemed to hate each other more, which simply escalated to them taking more and more out on each other; something which even their colleagues didn’t think was possible. Even though neither of the women would ever admit to it, it was also specifically to do with what happened in Alicia’s apartment; it was making it beyond obvious that the whole bathtub incident meant absolutely nothing. It was a one off, and it didn’t change anything. It was simply a moment; a heavily influenced by alcohol moment, during which they decided to put up their white flags. Like the German and British soldier during WWI, when during the Christmas day cease fire, they joined in the middle of a flooded with blood no man’s land for a football match. The next day the war continued as if nothing had ever happened. Yet it did happen. And history hasn’t allowed it to be forgotten.

Deep down Alicia knew, or perhaps, even though she would never admit, hoped Raquel would one day show up. Mainly to see if she managed to resolve her situation with her loving husband. However, Alicia didn’t exactly expect her to show up like this. Clearly hell had broken lose at the Murillo household and Raquel, instead of staying, managed to escape. She knew it could mean nothing good; Raquel wouldn’t just turn up to her house just like that. Not even after what happened two weeks ago; Raquel made that clearer than Alicia ever attempted to.

There was something Alicia just couldn’t yet put her finger down on.

“Let me have a look,” Alicia said as she moved closer to Raquel, who immediately stopped her.

“I’m fine,” Raquel stuttered, making Alicia raise her eyebrow in question, “I need you to do me a favour.”

“First,” Alicia huffed, closing the distance between them once again, this time not met with that much resistance, “I’m going to make sure you don’t bleed to death in my kitchen.”

Raquel hissed as Alicia gently lifted her top up. It didn’t look great, and despite the amount of blood, it looked like no main artery had been hit. A cut, long, but not too deep, was on the left side of her abdomen. Not that Alicia was any sort of expert, but there was no way Raquel would have manged to drive for over twenty minutes, had it been anymore serious. It was, however, going to get more serious if the bleeding wouldn’t stop.

“Lie down,” Alicia said, holding her hand out, offering her help.

“I’m fine,” Raquel insisted, “there is something more importa-“

“Well it can wait,” this time Alicia’s voice was more forceful, and as she was about to grab Raquel to lower her to the ground, the woman nodded her head. Grabbing the marble counter for support, Raquel slid her back down the kitchen cupboard, to a sitting position. Alicia shook her head and snorted; too proud to accept her help.

By the time Alicia grabbed a cloth and a first aid kit from on of her cupboards, Raquel had managed to lie down on the cold kitchen tiles. Alicia knelt down beside her, and gently propped her head up, bringing the glass with more vodka to Raquel’s blood-stained lips.

“It’s going to hurt,” Alicia said, her voice was so soothing, Raquel couldn’t help but for a second forget about the pain and listen to the barely audible hum above her, “bite this, it’ll help.”

Alicia proceeded to press down on the wound with a clean cloth, her whole-body tense as she watched the agony Raquel was going through, her screams muffled by the cloth Alicia had given her a second ago. Out of all things, this really wasn’t the way Alicia imagined spending her evening. The bleeding gradually stopped and Alicia sat back on her knees, visibly relieved. She gently tucked the hair from Raquel’s face behind her ear, and couldn’t resist the temptation to run her thumb over her cheek, wiping away the tears of pain mixed with sweat and blood. Alicia leaned forward and kissed Raquel’s forehead.

“It’s nearly over,” Raquel didn’t have time to register Alicia’s words as another wave of pain hit her body, this one, far worse than the one before. Alicia, in her attempt to disinfect the wound, decided to pour some vodka over it.

“Fucking bitch, you could’ve done that with warm water!” Raquel screamed in pain as she dug her nails into Alicia’s arm, drawing blood. Alicia hissed yet there was a spark of amusement in her eyes.

“The neighbours have already seen me carry out one body out of here this week,” Alicia once again leaned forward, whispering softly into Raquel’s ear, “don’t want to take any risks.”

The amused huff which Raquel felt on her neck made her shiver; she could be being dragged through hell yet it seemed that this woman could even take her attention away from near deadly agony. She hated it. She hated how much control this woman had. And she hated how it was so involuntary.

Raquel closed her eyes and started to relax; she could hear Alicia moving around the kitchen, putting things away, the opening and closing of kitchen cabinets. She all of a sudden felt the comforting warmth of the other woman’s body, and before she realised what was happening, she could feel herself being lifted up. Raquel’s eyes snapped open, but the words died away on her lips as she saw such softness in Alicia’s eyes, which she had never seen before. It was gone within a blink of an eye, but Raquel was sure she saw it. And she hated how it made her feel, just a little, warmer.

Alicia placed her down on the sofa, gently resting her head on the pillow. She passed her a glass with more alcohol and pills, which Raquel took without question. Painkillers and alcohol don’t go too well together, yet since she still had a liver, she might as well make the most of it. The alcohol had done a great job in making stopping the bleeding, well, bearable, but now, she needed something stronger to kill the pain she felt all over.

“What happened?” it took Raquel a second to register the voice was coming from; Alicia had settled down on the coffee table in front of her, “why did you come here and not go to the hospital?”

“We need to get Paula,” Raquel’s voice was barely audible, yet Alicia could hear the urgency.

“Is she at home?” Alicia asked, slightly concerned, “with Alberto?”

“No,” Raquel chose to pretend to not notice how Alicia visibly relaxed, “I asked for a divorce. I knew I was going to, so I sent Paula away to her grandparents; a three-hour drive from here. Things went worse than I expected.”

Alicia sighed, and took one of Raquel’s hands, and brough it up to her lips. She placed a gentle kiss on the back, and lowered it to her lap, squeezing it tightly, running her thumb over Raquel’s knuckles in the same hypnotic manner she did when she stopped her two weeks ago. Raquel didn’t know if it was the alcohol, the painkillers or perhaps poison which Alicia gave her; something was making her so lightheaded. It must’ve been the devil’s work for Alicia’s touch to feel more intense than the pain. How was she even surprised at this?

Even if the acting and execution were without fault, Alicia knew Raquel, at times, better than she knew herself. Something wasn’t adding up; she could feel it in her gut, and that feeling was never wrong. They were enemies. Perhaps as of recently more of the intimate type. But still enemies. Their last meeting meant nothing, and both of the woman made that very clear to the one another. Raquel knew that Alicia was by no means offering her a protection service; so, to come to ask for a favour? Alicia was almost certain that she was going to allow herself to believe that things got so out of hand and turned into a massacre Raquel didn’t predict. But in the back of her mind, Alicia knew Raquel was too clever, knew Alberto too well… and knew exactly what asking for a divorce would entail. Alicia saw how Raquel studied her husbands’ timetable and location, habits and mood swings with a precision she didn’t think anyone could master. Raquel would’ve been prepared. Especially in terms of her daughter. It would be her priority to have her a hundred percent out of Alberto’s reach, just in case something exactly like this happened. A three-hour drive seemed reasonable; it still, however, seemed like too loose of an end for the Raquel she knew. Not to mention, if things really did get so chaotic, she saw herself as the worst and most unpredictable person to go to. Had the movie been any good, she probably wouldn’t have bothered to open the door. Her guardian teddy bear, Angel – she still couldn’t get over the irony of that name, would be the best option. She was certain he’d stop in the middle of intercourse with his wife if Raquel messaged him to get her some tampons. She knew she wasn’t a random or spontaneous choice; or even one of convenience, for example, because of closeness. Raquel fully intended on coming here, and in the back of Alicia’s mind that was the first red flag. But above all it intrigued her, even if in a worrying way. Either Raquel had completely lost her mind, or she was doing things just as she planned them out; not in a million years would Alicia believe she would be the one person in the world Raquel would turn for help. Raquel wasn’t stupid, and Alicia was probably the only person who would refuse to act in a situation which was a matter of life and death. She was going to play along for now, hoping there’d be some logical explanation. And if not? The movie was shit anyway.

“You can’t drive in this state,” Alicia remarked.

“No shit,” Raquel sighed, annoyed, “that’s why I came here to ask you for a favour. Drive me there.”

“Raquel, look,” Alicia continued, unmoved, “you should calm down.”

Raquel yanked her hand out of Alicia’s and sat up, despite the hideous amount of pain; rage in her eyes.

“Listen,” she said, struggling to breath more from anger than pain, “he told me exactly what he was going to do to my daughter. And I’m more than certain he is capable of it. If I call the police, on their night shift, telling them that someone might be coming for my daughter, they’ll laugh in my face.”

Alicia looked at her intently, a battle of emotions playing out on her face.

“Look,” Raquel’s voice this time hit the note of desperation, “He might not go, maybe he’ll drive around and come back home. I won’t forgive myself if anything happens to Paula. I know a shortcut down country roads, its night; we’ll be there in no time. If he left even an hour ago, we still have time; it’s in the middle of nowhere and he can barely get there during the day.”

“In that case,” Alicia eye’s narrowed, as she attempted to investigate her suspicions, “it’s nearly a hundred percent certain your daughter is safe.”

“You start your shift in the afternoon,” Raquel ignored what Alicia said, “you drive me there, everything is fine, we sleep there and return in the morning. You have enough time to get rest and go to work. I owe you. I’ll take some of your weekend shift, whatever you want, please.”

It’s the please which caused Alicia to gently smile. Deep down Alicia knew it had taken a lot for Raquel to come to her in such a state; the woman was too proud to let Alicia help her sit down, yet alone to come to her crying about Alberto hitting her for the thousandth time. Alicia was certain the Raquel knew Alberto better than anyone out there. If she believed there was the slightest of possibilities that he might hurt her daughter, she wasn’t making it up. Plus, the man was a psychopath, who knows what could cross his mind. Whatever had gone down, Alicia believed it had to be serious enough for Raquel to come to her begging her to drive across the country. Despite her initial suspicions, perhaps she was wrong. Angel would’ve taken her straight to hospital, she supposes her friends not from the police would’ve done something similar… and even if she came to her police ‘friends’ in such a state, she was sure the moment Alberto was mentioned, they would be on the fence. Perhaps she came to Alicia as she knew she wasn’t going to pity her, or even agree straight away. A weekend shift wasn’t exactly a great in exchange for driving across half of the country, but deep down she knew Raquel would hate anyone to do it for free. Somehow, Alicia became the top of her list, purely because she wouldn’t freak out over a bit of blood or suggest Raquel left it up to someone else to sort out.

She agreed before Raquel had started to persuade her. She might have been reluctant for Raquel think she was becoming her guardian, but this wasn’t about Raquel. This was about Paula. And both women knew this. That’s exactly why this agreement worked. Perhaps Raquel was actually a step ahead of her.

“Okay,” she looked how Raquel sighed with relief, “but you better watch out with spilling such details as knowing when my shifts are, I might think you care.”

“I take great precaution to avoid you whenever possible,” Raquel snorted, “don’t make yourself believe that it means anything.”

“I’m going to be five minutes,” Alicia looked at her, her eyes narrow, “try to make your way to the door.”

Alicia disappeared, and the smile which was painted on Raquel’s lips vanished. She got up, surprisingly quickly, yet still wincing in pain. Before she got to the door, she had one more destination.

Alicia rolled her eyes as she opened the door to the driver’s side of Raquel’s car. Raquel insisted they take her car as it was better for the country roads and all the mud, and Alicia reluctantly agreed. She knew that the seat would probably be a state; she tried her best to quickly wipe off as much blood as she could from it. She sighed as she sat down, looking at their destination, which Raquel typed in on the GPS. Raquel explained how the shortcut started more than half way into the journey; she instructed Alicia to wake her up when they reached a certain point. Alicia nodded and started the engine, opening the window to try to get rid of the metallic smell of blood. Raquel turned to face the window, her eyes, mischievous, glistened in the reflection. She closed her eyes, knowing she had to get as much rest as possible. Perhaps it would’ve been better for them both, had Alicia trusted her gut. Little did she know, her Thursday night comedy, was just about to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided this is an AA fic; not purely because of the alcohol which seems to feature in every chapter - it's Angst and Action hahahah there's gonna be a lil bit more action to get the plot going, but for the people who enjoyed the last chapter; dw there will be more of those too!
> 
> Once again thank you so much for readinggggg <333


	4. Bad Omens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments and kudos! <3
> 
> Lil bits of this read a bit oc I think; but worry not, everything will be explained promptly ;D
> 
> Don't trust the author lmaooo 
> 
> surprisingly no warnings for this one? lol but for all of you who are missing them; you'll get more than enough in the next chapter, which might be up a lot sooner than you think.... ;D

According to many cultures, the chicken is a sign of good luck and prosperity. Not to mention, that the chicken as a ‘power animal’ (which is apparently different from a ‘spirit animal’) ‘can get by on its own and avoid danger and outrun adversaries’. However, as written on resets dot org, the chicken doesn’t have it that easy, as it ‘lives in a dangerous world. It is surrounded by all kinds of danger, from butchers to predator’… and apparently Alicia Sierra.

The tragedy had not been expected by neither the women nor the poor chickens, whose pen was run down to the ground by the car. It all started when Raquel woke up and started guiding Alicia down the country roads. Some music was quietly playing in the background; when ‘its da sound of the police’ came on, Alicia decided to put it on full volume, so Raquel, as she explained, wouldn’t fall asleep. This proceeded to turn into a fight over the volume control, causing Alicia to lose control of the steering wheel and drive into a farm house on the side of the road, disturbing the peaceful rest of the animals.

The sound had woken up the family who owned the now destroyed wooden chicken pen, and Alicia pressed the gas down to leave the crime scene as quickly as possible, which, to her surprise, wasn’t met with Raquel’s protests. The last thing either of them wanted to do was to be chased down some country lane with pitchforks, but she expected ‘lil Miss justice’ to at least offer some sort of apology or compensation. Another red flag. It was very unlike Raquel. Then again, she did have her stomach punctured and a psychopath on his way to get his dirty hands on her daughter; indeed, not a time to be dealing with chickens.

The incident did, however, have some consequences, as Raquel insisted on driving as soon as they were out of sight. Despite Alicia’s protest and shouting match which probably woke up every household in the perimeter of 5 miles, Raquel finally sat in the driver’s seat.

“You’ve drank a lot,” Alicia looked at Raquel with narrow eyes, “you’ve taken painkillers; you’re going to kill us.”

“The only person who has managed to cause any damage,” Raquel started the car, “has been you. I feel fine. Worst case I’ll end up running over some chickens.”

“You’re going to get us killed,” Alicia sighed and leaned back in her seat, accepting her fate.

Raquel rolled her eyes and pressed down the gas. She looked over at Alicia with annoyance, before she smirked and pressed down the brake. Despite the fact they were going fairly slowly, the sudden stop was enough to rather painfully throw Alicia out of her seat. She hissed at the impact, glaring at Raquel.

“Well, if I’m going to get us killed,” Alicia could almost see the madness in Raquel’s eyes; very dangerous with the mix of alcohol and anger, “you ought to put on your seatbelt.”

“If it wasn’t for the alcohol in your bloodstream, it could’ve sounded as if you really cared,” Alicia snorted, sitting back down in her seat and this time fastening her seatbelt, “better, mummy?”

“A lot,” Raquel rolled her eyes, “It’s no longer than a 15-minute drive, but the last bit is through a forest, I would’ve had to drive anyway…”

“Smashing into a tree sounds very reassuring,” Alicia smirked, and Raquel gave up trying to argue and concentrated on driving.

The next few minutes of the journey they sat in silence, deciding to abandon the music after all. Raquel had managed to fall asleep for most of the journey; Alicia was starting to wonder if she was going to wake her up at all. She seemed to recover fairly well, and despite letting her drive not being the wisest of choices, Raquel looked fine. It’s not like they were driving down the motorway at some ridiculous speed; they weren’t even hitting 20 miles on country roads. It seemed that most of the alcohol in Raquel’s bloodstream had been used up to numb the pain. Even if the woman seemed ever so slightly wavy, there was adrenaline pumping through those veins, ever so slightly increased, with the proximity of their destination. Despite Alicia’s protests, she had been in cars with people in a far worse state driving at ridiculous speeds; Raquel seemed nothing in comparison. With her steel grip on the driving wheel and eyes narrowed in concentration, she was probably a safer driver than Alicia. Well, sensible. One who wouldn’t let go of the steering wheel to turn up the volume of the music, at least. It was only a short drive, in the end.

Raquel wasn’t lying when she said the journey was a nightmare; the fact that she was shit at giving directions didn’t help at all. The country roads weren’t very vehicle friendly either; there wasn’t a single lamppost in sight. The sky looked incredible, cloudless, painted with thousands of starts, illuminating their way. Nothing in comparison to the light polluted nights in Madrid. One thing Alicia had to admit, it was really breath-taking. The sky became less and less visible as they started driving into the forest, causing Raquel to drive impossibly slower; Alicia wanted to complain, but remembered, it was probably better this way. The last thing she needed was for the car to crash and for them to have to trek for goodness knows how long through a forest in the middle of nowhere, with an injured Raquel, and a huge probability that her loving husband was haunting the local area, perhaps even risking running into him.

The car came to a sudden halt and Alicia groaned internally. Raquel swore under her breath as she couldn’t reignite the engine. Alicia rolled her eyes; she should really keep her worst-case scenarios out of her head, as it seemed she has some out of this world ability to speak them into reality. A broken-down car at 2am; she doubted any repair service was open, not to mention if they would ever find them – how were they supposed to even give them an address? So, a night in a car with Raquel? A few hours walk to civilisation? Who out there said chickens were a good omen? Well… perhaps running them over didn’t help.

Raquel opened Alicia’s car door, and the woman looked at her confused. She was so lost in her thoughts and the darkest scenarios which could happen to her tonight, she hadn’t realised the other woman even gotten out of the car. Raquel’s eyes shone with madness; she wasn’t even surprised, with the luck this woman had, she would’ve lost it years ago.

Alicia sighed and got out; she was no car mechanic, but because of how desperate their situation was, she could try to do something. Although, considering her best was of fixing things was usually by kicking them, she didn’t thing she’d be much help. Raquel didn’t seem in the state of mind to even simply function, not to mention fixing a car. Just as she was about to open the front of the car, she heard Raquel snort.

“Change of plans,” Raquel looked at Alicia, who was more than annoyed, “the car is fine, we’re here to do something else.”

“I really didn’t think you’d ever put Paula in danger,” the woman smirked, “but using her as a means to get me to drive you across the country; Raquel, I wasn’t expecting such a dirty move from you…”

Alicia stretched her legs and leaned against the front of the car. This was going to be a longer night than she expected. The sudden bang made her jump. Raquel had thrown a shovel at her feet, which Alicia didn’t even realise she was holding. Where did she get it from? The car? Alicia looked at her confused but the woman simply shrugged her shoulders and smiled. It was going to be a long night indeed.

“I need money,” Raquel ignored the comment.

“Digging out trees to sell on the black market isn’t going to get you far,” Alicia kicked the shovel, not liking what had just happened.

“Alberto froze my assets, I have nothing,” Raquel explained, “but before I got married, my mum gave me cash and told me to bury in the woods…”

Alicia burst out laughing. Out of all scenarios she wasn’t expecting this one. She thought Raquel was just the typical paranoid mum and that driving across the country would’ve been a pointless waste of time. Alicia knew that even if she refused, Raquel would attempt to drive down anyway. Not that she could care that much about Raquel’s wellbeing – she was a very entertaining co-worker, who it would be a pity to lose, but more importantly she’d have a lot of explaining to do as to why she let Raquel leave her house and get into a car in the state she was three hours ago. The little sleep had put a bit more colour into her cheeks, but she didn’t look great either.

The idea with the money wasn’t exactly bad, but rather unusual. Perhaps Raquel’s mother knew her daughter just a little too well; or wasn’t a fan of her son-in-law. It didn’t surprise Alicia at all. What surprised her, was, that for some reason, didn’t mind too much. She would rather be back in bed, but it had been long since she had so much entertainment. The situation was rather unconventional, but she was almost pleasantly surprised to find out that there was still something left of the wild Raquel she met in the academy. The whole scenario was so chaotic, yet for some reason precisely Raquel; not bad or troublesome in any way – an innocent adaptation of what could potentially be something very out of place. No one in the world these days buries money which isn’t stolen. This was far better than any of the comedies she was planning to watch; perhaps coming along wasn’t the worst idea.

“Perhaps I confused the painkillers with my happy pills,” Alicia was having the time of her life.

“My biological dad left not long after I was born,” Raquel ignored Alicia, “and disappeared with all the money my mum had. So as a precaution and wedding gift she gave me a rather large sum of money to burry… my reaction was exactly like yours.”

Alicia looked up at Raquel as she grabbed the shovel.

“Turns out it wasn’t stupid at all,” Raquel laughed to herself, “I’ve had enough Alicia, I’m getting out of here.”

“And there goes your promise for taking my weekend shifts,” Alicia sighed dramatically.

“For now, Alberto thinks I have nothing,” Raquel continued, “so he won’t suspect anything; after tonight’s confrontation he probably thinks he has scared me enough, for me not to threaten to leave anytime soon.”

“So, you get the money as soon as possible, book flights,” Alicia smirked, “and on Saturday you’re across the globe.”

“Exactly, so, this can’t wait,” Raquel sighed, “and I’m in no state to dig…”

“And this is where I come in,” Alicia rolled her eyes, “exploitation, Murillo, exploitation.”

“You’re going to get a fridge magnet from Argentina,” Raquel smiled, “you know, people pay a lot for personal trainers to tell them what you do, and I’m offering you these services for free…”

“That’s such a great way to sell it,” Alicia snorted, “so where do I start my night work out?”

“See, that’s the problem,” Raquel continued, “I can’t exactly remember which way I entered the forest that day.”

“What has that got to do with anything?” Alicia grunted in annoyance.

“It’s between these two trees…” Raquel pointed, “however, it’s not in the middle, but ever so slightly to the side…”

“…and you don’t know which side.”

“Precisely…” Raquel walked up to Alicia and took the shovel, proceeding to mark out a rectangle area between the two trees. Alicia could see what was coming, but was still rethinking what Raquel said earlier; she didn’t except the woman to take such a bold move. It made her surprisingly happy for her, finally out of reach of her tormentor. But she hated to admit, that her days at the office would become so much more boring without her; always ready to fight her. There was no one who had even half of the enthusiasm Raquel had to fight her. Raquel leaving was indeed disappointing.

“I think it’s best we dig a rectangle,” Alicia was snapped out of her thoughts, and looked at the area marked out by Raquel, “this way it’s easier than digging four little holes and missing the bag.”

“Fuck Raquel,” Alicia grabbed the shovel, “I better be getting a fucking nice fridge magnet.”

Raquel laughed as she sat down by one of the trees and lit a cigarette. The moonlight made the forest seem rather eerie. She was tense. The chicken pen had been a disaster, and Raquel couldn’t help but think that there might be some awful consequences of it. Alicia didn’t seem in the littlest phased by the change of plans, which made Raquel feel so relieved. Her performance apparently conveyed enough panic for Alicia to want to assist; or perhaps, decided that it was pointless driving across half of the country and refuse to help. Even if she didn’t want to help, more than anything Alicia hated pointlessness and wasting time; Raquel was half convinced she was helping as it was the best option. She couldn’t really tell how Alicia worked sometimes. Maybe the selling point had really been the fridge magnet; Alicia had an impressive collection. Raquel really wouldn’t put it past her to do all this for something as insignificant as a magnet; guessing Alicia’s motives and reasons was like playing Russian roulette.

It had been just under an hour when Raquel saw flashing blue and red lights. They had caused more than enough damage for someone to get annoyed; the chicken pen and probably a few noise complaints were more than enough for someone to check out what was happening. She knew exactly how the police worked in terms of these complaints, usually taking as much time as possible, setting out with the faith that the culprits would be nowhere to be found. In this exact manner, it took them a while to bother to set out looking for the cause of the many troubles, hoping that the problem would drive off itself. No one wants to deal with a bunch of drunk kids running over chickens at two in the morning; turns out that tonight both parties were short on luck.

She wasn’t surprised they found them; the local police no doubt knew the area like the back of their hands. They weren’t in the middle of the forest either; fairly out of sight, but not invisible, especially since Alicia insisted having the headlights on. They probably also followed the rather interesting new countryside lane beside the original; not to mention that Raquel decided to shortcut through the middle of a wheat field. They weren’t exactly too subtle, but not entirely that obvious either. Raquel didn’t think anyone would call the police for the sake of some chickens, nor that the police would organise a search party for the chicken terrorisers either. This really wasn’t going to plan.

Raquel could see her vision blur as she scrambled up, clinging to the tree in horror. Alicia looked up confused; she had abandoned her hoodie and was just in her vest and trackies, sweat running down her temples.

“Fuck,” Alicia sighed as she saw the lights, still far out but undeniably heading in their direction, “it’s probably because of the chickens.”

Raquel was looking in the direction of the car, as if in a trance.

“Murillo,” Alicia raised her voice, finally getting the woman to look in her direction, “I know you’ve always been the teachers pet and hated getting into trouble, but it’ll be fine, it was just some chickens…”

“Alicia,” the tone of Raquel’s voice made Alicia’s blood freeze, “it’s nearly three in the morning and we’re digging a hole in the middle of the woods…”

“Raquel,” Alicia decided to ignore the tone of the other woman’s voice, making sure to sound as sarcastic as possible, “then we just explain your fucked up family traditions and pay a fine for the chickens and they’ll go away.”

Raquel’s was shaking; she walked over to Alicia who was standing in the hole, which was a lot deeper than Raquel expected her to dig in such little time. It reached just above the Alicia’s waist, which was very impressive. Raquel slowly sat down on the edge; her knuckles white from the pressure which she gripped the sides. Alicia noticed her face was equally pale. Something wasn’t right. Alicia knew something wasn’t right from the very start and seeing the woman in front of her, she sincerely wished her gut feeling would sometimes be wrong.

“Alicia,” her voice barely a whisper, “trust me when I say it is in your best interest for them not to search the car.”

If Raquel had been white, Alicia turned even paler. She yanked the woman down to stand next to her. She knew she was capable to do anything for Paula, she believed she had it in her to manipulate her to get some cash to escape the country… but anything else? No. Not really. Alicia brought her hand up and roughly grabbed the side of Raquel’s face, pulling them so close their bodies were almost touching. Raquel grabbed Alicia’s wrist, not in an attempt to pull it away from her face, but squeezed with equally vicious pressure, digging her nails into Alicia’s soft sink. Raquel smirked as she saw the woman wince. The silent terror of both of the women was replaced with rage; both of their chests heaving in anger. The turn of the situation acting like a shot of adrenaline.

“What have you done?” Alicia hissed against the smaller woman’s lips.

“Nothing that they can prove that I did,” Raquel’s laugh was replaced by a hiss as Alicia’s hand moved from her cheek to her hair, pulling her in so that their lips were basically touching. Alicia saw the mix of amusement and madness in Raquel’s drunk eyes; it only angered her more - this wasn’t the time.

“And what can they prove?” Alicia’s voice came out hoarser than she expected, her lips unexpectedly brushing against Raquel’s with the last syllable. The way Raquel’s eyes briefly flickered shut made her smirk. It was a game of power; the reason why she pulled Raquel in, was to intimidated her - it always worked. Physical presence had an unimaginable power to constrain people. However, as she looked at the Raquel, amused rather than in the slightest alarmed, she felt the power slipping through her fingers. She forgot the woman in front of her might really be her mirror image; it wasn’t going to be as simple as that.

Raquel’s slightly red-rimmed eyes shone with wicked delight; she was half mad and half drunk, her body still in excruciating pain from earlier. She was in no state to deny herself anything, and she didn’t know what she craved more, the warmth of Alicia’s touch, or the intoxicating feeling of power to deny Alicia the dominance she wanted to exert. Even if there was nothing gentle about the hand tangled in Raquel’s hair, their closeness was shatteringly intimate. Raquel decided to follow her latter craving, parting her lips ever so slightly, daring Alicia to brush them together once more. Everything that was going on around her disappeared, taken over by the involuntary yet intoxicating craving of seeing how far Alicia would go to be the one in power.

It was almost enough. Almost. But Alicia saw the flashing red out of the corner of her eye, and all of a sudden, Raquel saw her dilated eyes fill with anger. This really wasn’t the time, especially with Raquel’s peculiar threat; that needed to be sorted. Alicia’s need for power, for a second, almost, turned into a need to dominate Raquel in a different way. Perhaps they were both going mad, unsure how to unload so much hate and tension with so little space between them.

They were touching, breathing heavily; the police, the hole, the fact they were in a forest in the middle of nowhere... all forgotten in some mock display of touch and hate. It was almost ironic how Raquel felt as if she was going to faint the moment, she saw the flashing lights. She cursed herself that she forgot how good of a distraction Alicia had recently been from all her problems.

With the force Alicia grabbed her earlier, she could feel the cut on her lip once again had started bleeding. She could feel the metallic taste in her mouth, all of a sudden snapping her out of her thoughts. Alicia, her make up smudged, face covered in dirt, was still expecting an answer, awaiting to catch her bluff. However, she wasn’t going to give in so easily. Not just yet. Raquel could feel the warm trial of blood slowly oozing down her chin. The lights had caused Alicia to regain composure, Raquel could see the recklessness slowly escaping the whiskey eyes, no longer seeming that affected by their closeness, abandoning their game of power for a more important purpose. Maybe it was the alcohol, madness or simply not knowing when enough is enough, especially when it came to Alicia, Raquel decided for once in her life she wasn’t going to be the responsible one. Alicia had moved her face away from her ever so slightly, clearly signalling they should stop and deal with the bigger problem. Raquel, simply ignored her, all of a sudden deciding that despite the dirt on Alicia’s face, there was something missing. Raquel pressed her mouth to Alicia’s cheek, with the intention of wiping away all the blood. It was something between a moment of madness and creativeness; both of her hands were now covered in dirty and Alicia’s skin seemed like the best and only option.

“They can prove,” Raquel moved to whisper in her ear, running her lips over Alicia’s jawline, “that you’re a very bad person.”

Alicia jerked Raquel away, shaking her head. Raquel laughed as Alicia attempted to wipe away the blood off her face, her expression between annoyance and disgust. Now, she looked more like it. It felt almost possessive; the ability to mark Alicia. It had been a perfect move. Alicia completely forgot about the approaching vehicles, now determined to get Raquel back. Raquel kept laughing; she felt so unbearably light. In a second, she knew that her whole world would be turned upside down, but quite frankly, she couldn’t bring herself to care. She was fully drawn into the gravity of the woman in front; it truly seemed like the essence of madness. She simply couldn’t stop; her world was spiralling out of control - she should be thinking what to do, what to say to the police… Yet nothing seemed to exist outside of the game of power of the two women. It had always been there. Now they had taken it to another level. It felt far too intoxicating.

Alicia, now fully determined to get Raquel back, this time grabbed the back of Raquel’s head, curling her hand into a fist. Her hand, which was now covered in Raquel’s blood; the woman smirked. In response Alicia yanked her head down, forcing Raquel to kneel. She leaned over looking down at her, rage and abandon behind the whiskey eyes. Surprisingly, without letting go of Raquel, she kneeled beside her.

“Are you trying to hide us?” Raquel winced as Alicia gave another tug to her hair, pulling her ever so slightly away, “or is this some fucked up version of confession?”

“It’s not a time for jokes,” Alicia hissed, for some reason feeling relieved at the space she put between them. She had more than enough of the woman. Raquel’s snort at her statement was the last straw, making Alicia yank her away. The force, had successfully, slammed Raquel into the ground, so that she was lying on her back. Raquel groaned, the pain from earlier was becoming strong enough for her to no longer be able to ignore it. And she smiled at Alicia, she smiled at her in the same way Alicia smiled at Raquel when she had thrown the glass at her; she was still in power and Alicia couldn’t do anything about it.

“You’re full of shit Raquel,” Alicia looked down at the woman in front of her, feeling like she had finally regained composure, “it’s in my best interest for them not to search the car? Bullshit.”

Alicia leaned over, grabbing Raquel’s wrists and pinning them above her head. The woman struggled, but despite the exhaustion, Alicia was stronger. She straddled Raquel, using her weight to force rest of Raquel’s body harshly against the cold ground. Alicia made sure to put some pressure on the cut on Raquel’s abdomen, just enough to make her wince in annoyance but not enough to seriously hurt her. She had finally managed to wipe that smirk of her face, quite literally, trapping Raquel beneath her. She had regained some of the power, but the air between them, was all of a sudden thicker than before. Alicia closed her eyes, listening to both of their uneven breaths, hoping the blackness would calm her down. It wasn’t working. It made things worse, as the intensity with which she could feel the woman beneath her, increased mercilessly. Her eyes snapped open; she could feel Raquel’s body tense. Alicia could feel Raquel’s chest moving up and down, panting. Her eyes were almost black, devilish, waiting for the slightest of Alicia’s hesitations to counterattack. Alicia bit her lip; she wasn’t going to give Raquel that opportunity. 

It was the sound of the car engine getting closer which brought Alicia back to her sense. She took a deep breath and smiled. She felt that with every second she had more control of the situation. This time, with Raquel pinned below her, she would have no opportunity to once again drag Alicia back into the madness they shared a few minutes ago. She had enough time to slowly filter everything through; her driving into the chicken pen had been the best thing she had done. Chickens brought luck after all. She was about to do something which she wouldn’t have been able to explain herself from. There was still time. She hadn’t done anything yet which couldn’t be reversed. The chickens had saved her. Now, feeling once again in control, Alicia dared to close the distance between them. She leaned in even closer, far too close for comfort, her hair brushing Raquel’s cheeks.

“Perhaps it’s you who ought to tell me,” Alicia smiled triumphantly, “why I shouldn’t tell them to search the car immediately?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is in the car?????????
> 
> thank you so much for readinggg <3 brace yourselves for the chaos lmaooo


	5. Paula's Favourite Colour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you sooo much for all the wonderful comments and kudos; they give me life <3
> 
> This chapter, as Najwa would say, is 'heavy'; so you know the drill; the warnings - abuse, violence, child abuse, descriptions of violence ://// - yhhhh we dealing with poor Raquel... but hopefully this will make the previous chapter clear lol
> 
> The narration isn't linear linear, so if things aren't making full sense, *wait for it* also - please don't kill me for this
> 
> I'd love to know what yall thought had happened and if you were any close in your guesses lol ;D

**TWO WEEKS EARLIER**

Internet cafes are almost extinct in the age of the internet. So, the first time Raquel entered ‘World Internet’ in Madrid, she felt like she really wasn’t supposed to be there. It all happened because Alberto nearly hit her over her search history, and she decided, that to spite him, she’d go to an Internet cafe. Scrolling through Amazon to look at Barbie backpacks for her daughter, had, at that point, been her own personal victory. She couldn’t help but feel shame every time she decided to spend her afternoon in the locale. It turned out that having sunk so low, getting back the littlest of her personal autonomy, was far greater than the shame. From that time, she had become a frequent client of World Internet.

She felt ever so slightly guilty, when she walked inside on Saturday afternoon. She made sure she provoked Alberto to make him believe he was the cause of the purple marks on her neck, not bothering to cover them up as she left home in the morning. She also made sure her cardigan got caught in the door as she entered, revealing the bruises on her arms, clearly displayed with the tank top she had on. Not to mention, she was wearing sunglasses. If the owner, Misha, had ever suspected the real reason as to why the women spent so much time here, he was now sure.

She was never proud of the marks Alberto left on her body, and using them as a means to get something, didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like her. But Raquel was paranoid and felt as if she was about to open pandora’s box, that is, if she hadn’t opened it up already. Perhaps it was the whole situation with Alberto which made her distrust even her own shadow, yet she had a bad feeling she needed to keep whatever she found to herself. Strictly to herself. The owner respected the privacy of his clients, but Raquel’s paranoia drove her to the point of wanting to be invisible. She needed her presence deleted from the system.

She approached the man behind the counter; something between pity and encouragement behind his green eyes. She explained she needed to be undetected because her husband was stalking her. She wanted to finally get a divorce, but was scared that he’d come into the locale and demand to know what she had looked up. She added that he had a gun. The owner explained that she didn’t need to worry, and in the worst case he’d call the police. And in that moment Raquel knew she had him. She whispered, feeling all of a sudden so exhausted, that he was a policeman. Misha understood.

Raquel smiled gently as Misha stuck an “out of order” sign on the booth she was in, and even called her over to the main computer screen to show her that nothing was being registered. Raquel closed the door and reached for her bag. She took out a packet of gum, and from one of the wrappers, she took out a SIM card. Raquel twirled the card between her fingers and sighed; she hated herself sometimes. The card was a reminder that she managed to adapt to almost extreme situations with expertise, rather than just leaving them in the first place. Ever since she caught Alberto looking through her phone, she kept a spare SIM card. On it were all the things she was afraid he’d see, as well as having many useful numbers saved for emergency use. She put the SIM card into her phone, and opened up the photo album.

Two nights ago, still very fresh in her mind, Raquel woke up in the middle of the night, surprisingly not in Alberto’s arms. The situation itself was rather surreal, perhaps because she half expected Alicia to stab her in her sleep. What made it worse, was the fact she was fully aware Alicia was capable of stabbing her in her sleep, yet still felt a lot safer in the woman’s arms than Alberto’s. With the fear that Alicia might change her mind as to not killing her, she decided to go to the toilet, to enjoy what might be her last visit there. On her way back to the bedroom, the book she had pulled out of the shelf once again caught her eye. Knowing Alicia was asleep - it was terrifying to see her look almost innocent when she slept - Raquel decided to once again look through the photos. On the reverse of a few of them there was something written in Arabic. Raquel couldn’t help herself, and grabbed the phone from her bag, deciding to take a picture of the captions. Alicia’s reaction to their confrontation had been intriguing, if not in the least worrying. Perhaps the scribbles on the back of the photos would offer her some sort of explanation. Or perhaps it was just some love poetry. Raquel decided there definitely was harm in finding out, but told herself that taking a picture of it couldn’t be that bad. Just in case she ever decided to dig up Alicia’s past. Turned out that it took exactly 45 hours for Raquel to make that decision. Apparently, curiosity killed the cat, but it would have to stand in the queue behind Alberto in Raquel’s case. Raquel had low hopes she would actually manage to find anything, but it was always worth trying. Having some information against Alicia wasn’t the stupidest idea, as it could potentially help her one day.

Raquel had never been more grateful for the creators of google translate; the photo and transliteration function, as well as auto-translate of pages had been her saving grace. As she suspected the scribbles on the back weren’t too helpful. A few cute romantic sentences, here and there. One name of a place; well, a vague location which from Raquel’s further research turned out to be some sort of love metaphor. Perhaps such information was already enough to threaten Alicia; she definitely was the last person Raquel would suspect writing love poems.

Nicknames. Pet names. A date.

Raquel roughly remembered the name of Alicia’s so-called boyfriend and decided to type it in alongside the date and some other vague pieces of information she had managed to find. As if by chance, an article popped up. Raquel couldn’t believe her luck; she had found something. She quickly scanned the article in search for a full name and more details and copied them into the search engine she opened in a new tab. “Robbery gone wrong”, “General killed by chance during a robbery”, “thief caught red handed”; few of the many articles that came up. They all went on about the same thing. A robbery and a murder. The articles claimed that Alicia’s boyfriend, if it was actually him, most definitely acted alone. Raquel was about to give up, but the way Alicia had reacted wasn’t giving her peace. She was most definitely involved. She knew it.

The café was going to close in the next ten minutes and Raquel knew she had to pack her stuff up and get going. She had been there since the morning; Misha even came in to offer her a slice of pizza for lunch. It was nearly four, Paula was being picked up from a birthday party by Alberto and they should be home by five. She was meant to be here till six, but Misha came in and apologised, saying that he was heading to his mother-in-law’s birthday dinner, and unfortunately, had to shut earlier. Raquel was about to shut the tab, when annoyed by having wasted so much time, slammed her hand on the keyboard. She laughed at herself; she was really starting to lose it. For old times sake, she decided to press enter, to see what the new combination of letters would bring to her search.

Raquel couldn’t believe her eyes. It was one chance in a million. At the top of the page, she saw an icon of the exact same picture Alicia had snatched off her. The beautiful black-haired girl and the equally handsome boy; the article simply titled “Bonnie and Clyde”. 

Raquel was trying to filter all the information she had just found out through her head, as she drove back home. The article was an interview with one of the people who worked on the property of the General on the outskirts of Nador. A very powerful man, in control of a much craved by everyone area; the border. The reporter didn’t seem to too keen on the man’s version of events, yet published it anyhow. Probably the reason the rest of the press ignored the man, was because they believed he made the story up for money. However, Raquel knew it was most certainly the version she was looking for.

The man begun the story with the events Raquel more or less knew from the other articles; however, he claimed that two, rather than just one, of the servants working in the general’s house decided to rob him, the so called Bonnie and ‘her’ Clyde, as he termed them. Things went wrong and the General was shot. This seemed to be the universal version, with the chain of events ending with ‘Clyde’ being caught seconds after firing the shot. This article, however, claimed that the robbery was successful. The lovers managed to shoot the general and escape with enough time to hide over 10 million euros they robbed. Most articles claimed that the money simply didn’t exist, not to mention that it was successfully stolen. The man being interviewed explained the money indeed didn’t exist, because being in charge of a country border often brings profits which aren’t meant to exist. The issue of the money was dropped early on in the case, as it was impossible to look for money which didn’t technically exist; the official version therefore, became that nothing was ever stolen. The man in the interview, which clearly hadn’t gained the sympathy of the reporter, claimed that the money never left the premises, and remains buried in the many acre desert like grounds outside the property. The reporter clearly wasn’t very impressed with such a version, and came to a conclusion that he simply wanted money for the story. Raquel also agreed with the reporter; so many details were left unexplained, such as the escape of ‘Bonnie’ and how she was never found. It seemed the article was a false hope. She scrolled right to the bottom of the page and in the spam of a few minutes, her heart nearly stopped for the second time.

There was a series of photos of the area surrounding the property which seemed almost like a palace. One of the photos caught her eye. A rock. But a very characteristic one which was half way up a slope, and a little below, another pile of rocks. When she first glanced through Alicia’s pictures, she wondered what the hell was wrong with the woman to have so many pictures of the same rock, a few from different angels. It all made sense. There was a reason behind it, or, more like ten million reasons.

Raquel got home ever so slightly earlier than expected, having pushed the gas down with the adrenaline pulsing through her veins. She still had so much more to find out, but the little pieces she had gathered opened up a totally new chapter of Alicia’s life probably no one knew about. Of course, there was still a lot to it, but now she knew she wasn’t going to stop there.

Raquel still couldn’t get over how connected the world could be. She created a fake new Facebook profile, and it took only a few clicks to send the man who was interviewed in the article a friend request. Perhaps he would come in handy, and be willing to share a few more details about ‘Bonnie and Clyde’. It made Raquel laugh; Alicia’s biggest secret solved by a Facebook friend request. Now that was banal. Especially for Alicia.

Raquel arrived back home and got out of the car. She searched her bag and cursed as she realised, she must have left her keys inside. Great. Alberto’s car was parked outside the house, meaning the birthday party must’ve finished sooner rather than later and there was hope the back door would be open. Raquel locked the car and opened the back gate to the garden. She pressed down on the door handle and smiled; today was really her lucky day – it was open.

It took seconds for Raquel to change her mind. She made it a few steps into the living room and through the reflection in the mirror, past the open door and hallway, she could see that in the kitchen which was parallel to the living room, Paula wasn’t very happy. She was very close to a full-blown tantrum, actually. She heard her complaining, a lot, that they had to leave the party earlier and she didn’t have time to eat the cake. Raquel stopped in the living room and watched the scene, out of sight, through the mirror. It made her almost chuckle; that explained everything. No wonder Paula was fuming; it seemed that most of the time her daughter attended birthday parties for nothing but the cake. She decided, in order to lighten the mood and cheer up Paula, she would quietly sneak into the kitchen and give them a bit of a scare. In the end it was only a piece of cake.

She didn’t make it.

The scene which she watched unfold in the mirror was in slow motion. She desired nothing more than for the mirror’s reflection to, for once in its life, not be true. She saw it before she heard it; the cursed laws of the world deciding she had to suffer through it twice. Everything followed by a deafening silence. One Raquel will remember for the rest of her life. She wanted to shut her eyes but couldn’t. She couldn’t look away. She saw how Paula’s cheek slowly turned a shade of crimson.

Paula always told her she loved the colour red. It was the colour of strawberries, and strawberries were Paula’s favourite. She told people her favourite colour and fruit before she told them her name. Now she would wear it on her cheek. Now perhaps she’ll no longer like strawberries and no longer dress all her dolls in red dresses. Maybe she’ll start painting their cheeks red. But not a rose red, like a blush. Raquel remembered when Paula stole her blush to put it on her favourite dolls because she was organising a summer party for them. They would eat strawberries. Raquel was annoyed until she found out that she was also invited. So, she too, put the blush on the doll she got given. And now her stupidity in thinking she could control Alberto, her hope that he would change, had coloured Paula’s cheek her favourite colour. She knew Paula wouldn’t paint her doll’s cheeks a light ruby-red from now on, they would be cherry. Sanguine. Marron. They’d fade into burgundy.

In a fraction of a second it happened again. Then, the sobs of the child were muffled as Alberto tightly hugged her, trying to calm her down. Raquel looked at the scene through the mirror, having not moved an inch. It seemed surreal. Abject.

Millions of scenarios run through her head. She could run into the kitchen and grab a knife. She could stab him over and over and over again. She could grab her gun. She could fire every single bullet she had in the house. She could run over to Paula. She could push Alberto away and hug her. Hold her tight. Make her feel safe. She was about to make her way to the kitchen when something made her stop dead.

“You’re not weak.”

Alicia’s voice echoed through her head like the sound of shattering glass. As if the mirror hanging in the living room had been smashed. It made her stop. She took a deep breath. She wanted to curse the woman because even at such a time she was stuck in her head. What she hated more was that she was fucking right. Raquel wasn’t weak, and weakness wasn’t just physical.

She could easily kill Alberto on the spot. Whether it was with a knife, gun or frying pan. But doing so she would end up in jail and wouldn’t be helping Paula if she murdered her father whilst he held her in his arms. She could run up to Paula, and push Alberto away. But she could from a distance tell from his body language that Alberto was tense. That he hadn’t calmed down yet. He was still in his moment of rage. It would take him less than a second to realise how much seeing her daughter hurt had torn her to pieces. It was more than likely he’d grab Paula and start hitting her again, to see the both of them suffer. He crossed the line of hitting her. How long would it take for him to cross the line of beating her to death just to show Raquel how much he was capable of doing to make her suffer? Now, after what just happened, Paula went from his sweet daughter to an object he could use to inflict pain on. It was only a matter of time until it escalated further. Raquel was in denial when it happened to her, thinking it would get better. She had learnt the hard way. But this was her daughter. She would not be ignorant of it.

Divorce all of a sudden stopped being an option. She would never get full custody. She’d never be able to prove Alberto was a danger to her child. She knew far too well that he was too much of an authority; his friends in the police would do him the little favour of changing a few pieces of evidence around. It could be anything; from deeming her to be unfit as a mother, or perhaps even accusing her of abusing Paula. Alberto would make sure of it. It would be idiotic for her to believe it wouldn’t happen. She hated it, didn’t approve of it, but knew the police far too well to live under the illusion that it wouldn’t happen to her.

So what? Run away? It wouldn’t be too bad of an idea. But she didn’t have enough money to live as a fugitive forever. Alberto would never let them go. He’d chase her to the end of the world. It wasn’t a matter of love or hate. It was a matter of principle. Of honour. Of possession. At the end of the day, he only had them and she knew he would dedicate every fiber of his being to destroy her, be it out of hate, love or the fucking inability to lose to her. No matter how many lovers or relationships he’d have in between; he’d never be at peace if they managed to get away. That would be the case if she wasn’t arrested beforehand, knowing Alberto and his influences, it would be nothing for him to persuade his friends she kidnapped Paula with malicious intent.

So what? Kill him? Till death do us part, it really was. Prison. Years in prison. He wasn’t worth so many years of her life away from Paula. What was justice?

For killing the son of a bitch, they should give her an award. But he wouldn’t be there to hurt Paula. She’d be in prison but he wouldn’t have custody over her. It doomed on Raquel that the only way to keep Paula safe, no matter the consequences, was to get rid of Alberto. Forever. She sighed. No one ever talks about the not so obvious sacrifices one makes for love.

Unless. Unless she could get away with it.

“You’re not weak.”

The voice this time sounded warm, soft, almost fragile. Raquel felt as if she had hit rock bottom. All this time she had been falling down, sinking lower each day. But today was the day she hit rock bottom. She always wondered how it would feel. She knew her breaking point would be the day Alberto touched Paula. She had imagined it a thousand times. She thought she would break down in tears, she thought she would scream, throw herself down the stairs. She never imagined she would feel absolutely nothing. She might have hit rock bottom, but for the first time in as long as she could remember, she was on solid ground. She could see everything clearly.

It had been Alicia’s voice which grounded her in her new reality, making Raquel connect one point with another. It almost made her laugh; the cursed voice had turned out to be her blessing, painting a third scenario in her mind. It seemed so simple. Far too simple. Yet it could really work. It would really work as it was a plan which would be hinged on the very factor it needed to succeed. Alicia.

She took one last look in the mirror and headed back to the door. No one ever speaks about the realities of love. The real sacrifices of love. She’d jump in front a bullet for her daughter a million times. But its never as simple as jumping in front of a bullet. It’s a scenario in which the person holding the gun tells her that he probably won’t shoot her daughter if she leaves. He definitely will if she doesn’t. So, in that way, she is forced to leave with the hope that it’s the best option. Knowing she will have to trust in the goodwill of the person holding a gun, with no guarantee they’ll keep their word.

Raquel silently shut the back door and got into the car. She had to get her thoughts together. And she needed to drive around for at least half an hour to ensure Paula was safe. The irony; she sighed as she started the car, to keep them safe, she needed Alberto to be under the illusion she knew nothing. Her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. It fucking hurt. She took another deep breath trying to stop the flood of tears as the images from minutes ago replayed in her head. She would cry all she wanted when it was over, but now, she needed to stay calm. For Paula. She was going to work it out. She needed to think exactly how she was going to plan everything out.

As she was driving along, the realisation doomed on her. Perhaps it was never a case if she was or wasn’t able to kill Alberto. She always had it in her. It was just a matter of the right circumstances. Her day at the internet café had really opened up pandora’s box. Had she not found that information out about Alicia her brain would have blown the fuse a long time ago. Yet it had been fate, that on this very day she had found something, even if it might have seemed close to nothing, which opened up another exit from her situation. Perhaps it’s true that when God shuts the door, the devil opens the window. It was Alicia and her past which opened up the window, and she wasn’t about to waste an opportunity, which might even, change her life for the better.

Collateral damage. That was what her plan meant for Alicia. All depended on if Alicia chose to teamwork. Raquel was sure she would never agree to help, so it was simply a matter of forcing her to collaborate. That she had sorted. But how it would end for them would depend on if they managed to put aside their differences, until, of course Alicia decided to betray her. She was certain that having attempted to take away the stability Alicia had built for herself, she would be capable of doing anything as a means of revenge, as soon as she felt she is in a safe and powerful enough position to do so. From the littlest Raquel managed to find out, it was more than certain Alicia had blood on her hands, yet managed to escape the consequences. Raquel knew Alicia was never the one to play fair, and was certain she didn’t play by the rules that time, and wouldn’t either this time. But Until Alicia found an opportunity to turn things around, she would be forced to go along with what Raquel told her. The plan, was not entirely based on playing things out to stop Alicia getting to that point, but predicting the exact moment she would, so Raquel could get out or act in time. Raquel knew Alicia would strike back, but she also knew there was enough personal gain that would appeal to Alicia, for them to get pretty far.

It was about her daughter, and at this point she was fully capable of ruining anyone’s life.

… or perhaps, deep down, there was something else that made her pick Alicia. She stopped the car in some abandoned car park on the outskirts of Madrid with not a soul in sight. She opened the window and felt the gentle breeze. The summer sun was slowly descending, colouring the sky in shades of orange.

She closed her eyes and her mind involuntarily returned to that night. Her skin burnt with the trails of Alicia’s touch, she remembered, against her own will, how her lips felt unimaginably soft as they pressed to the side of her neck. But above all she remembered the way Alicia grabbed onto her as if she was drowning. How her voice cracked on the last note of the lullaby, unintentionally, uncontrollably. When they went to bed it was initially Raquel who closed the distance between them and tangled their legs together, because despite how much she hated Alicia, her touch brought her peace. She cursed herself for not being able to resist such a stupid temptation, but Alicia’s skin was so soft and she was too exhausted to fight. It was Alicia who closed the distance between them again, when she woke up shortly after Raquel had returned to bed in the middle of the night. Her back was facing Alicia, and she could feel her slowly inch closer. She leaned over, her fingertips gently brushing Raquel’s check before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Certain that she was asleep, Alicia draped her arm over Raquel, pulling her in flush against her body. Raquel could feel her unsteady breath on the back of her neck, trying to recover from a nightmare. She could feel her body relax against her, and Raquel couldn’t help but smile as Alicia pressed a feather light kiss to her shoulder. Raquel wasn’t going to fool herself that Alicia wasn’t simply using her, but deep down, she thought, perhaps, if only a little, Alicia also needed her touch.

Not that what Raquel was going to do was an act of love. It seemed like the opposite. More like an act of torture. But something made Raquel think she was in a way helping Alicia. Alicia’s life seemed perfect, every single fucking centimetre of it. It took as little as a photo for her to authentically crumble. Alicia Sierra. The Alicia Sierra who shot at her during a meeting when she disagreed about the colour of top the victim was wearing. Just as Alicia found Raquel helplessly standing in the bathroom, Raquel, by chance, found Alicia living in a nightmare of one of the chapters of her life which she thought she had shut. And Alicia was in deep denial of it, if she was desperate enough to hold Raquel to calm herself down. Perhaps making Alicia face her demons and tie all the lose ends she left behind so long ago, was the only way to leave it behind. Or the worst possible thing to do. In Alicia’s dictionary, actions of hate, love and help had very peculiar and ever changing definitions. But this wasn’t about Alicia. No. She just couldn’t seem to get the woman out of her head. But it was wise to perhaps consider what the fuck she could unleash, bringing Alicia back.

She probably should feel guilty. About many things. She laughed in earnest, to herself, alone in her car, parked in some abandoned car park. How the fuck does ruining Alicia’s life make her feel more guilty than the prospect of murder?

Raquel immediately got that thought out of her head. She was doing this for her daughter. For money. For freedom. She had to do what she had to do, no matter the consequences or collateral damage. No matter bringing Alicia to ruin. In the end Alicia brought Raquel to ruin herself the moment she grabbed her hand outside the police station. Had she not done that Raquel would’ve never opened that cursed book. She would have never gone to that internet café. She wouldn’t have found out about the money; not like she even knew it existed, but still was willing to take a chance. And she would most likely be dead now. No voice would have stopped her from grabbing a knife Alberto would, no doubt, have easily snatched from her, ending her life in the way she intended to end his. She was alive thanks to, or perhaps, in spite of Alicia. And if she was going to down, she was going to take her with her; it was their fucking destiny, even if neither of them liked it or could’ve ever imagined it.

Raquel parked the car outside her house an hour later. She had also popped into the shops to grab a few things. She took her bag, and made her way to the door, feeling terrified. As soon as Alberto opened the door, she relaxed, feeling everything fall into place. Raquel found it easier than it should have been. She walked in through the front door in the best of moods. She walked into the kitchen, turned around and threw her hands around Alberto’s neck. She hugged him tightly. Perhaps in the last bid of madness to see if she would feel anything strong enough to stop her doing what she planned. She felt nothing. She kissed him on the cheek, smiled. She looked happy. She looked so happy it made Alberto happy. She needed him to fall under the illusion that she was happy.

Then came the worst; the test of her willpower. Paula. She let go of Alberto as she heard her come into the kitchen. She thought she would break. But she wasn’t weak. If Paula saw a crack in the surface of her composure, the consequences would be catastrophic. She could tell that she was scared. She prayed, fucking ironically, that deep down Paula was scared enough not to tell her what Alberto had done. Especially with him watching. What was planning a way out if it all could end here on the spot? Paula gave her a weak smile and said that she had a fun day. Raquel felt some weight lift off her chest; she quickly pulled Paula in for a hug, knowing that looking at her any longer would bring a flood of tears to her eyes.

It was Raquel’s priority to get Paula out of the house as soon as possible. She knew it was paramount for her to do it safely. It was no good being reckless, like grabbing her and running out of the door. She was using every fiber of her being to restrain herself from doing it this very moment, Paula still in her arms, her head nuzzled into Raquel’s neck, knowingly avoiding Alberto behind her. She couldn’t afford to have the consequences of her stupidity catch up to her later. She would get Paula out, but sensibly. It had to be handled gently. It hurt so fucking much holding Paula and not being able to tell her that she knows, that she won’t let it happen again, that so very soon she’ll be out of harms way.

She lifted her up to hold in her arms, gently kissing her on the forehead, finally turning to face Alberto. She could feel her stomach turning, in all honesty, not knowing if she had it in her to keep her composure. But when she met his eyes, all of a sudden, she felt such coldness. He was a million miles away, and nothing he said could possibly touch her. A shiver run down her back; was this how it was meant to feel? To have the power over life and death? Distant, perhaps, even invincible. Alberto might have been standing in front of her yet the last time Raquel saw him alive was in the mirror.

Her face was painted with a smile, she chuckled, saying that it looked like Paula had too much fun at the party; Alberto only minimally stuttered with the reply of how she fell off the bouncy castle. Perhaps after everything they had been through, he found it hard to believe that Raquel would not be pointing fingers at him. They said they’d work on their relationship though. He simply couldn’t believe his luck that Raquel was giving him a carte blanche. In the end, it was his daughter too, so he smiled, believing he had managed to hide such a thing from his wife. Why wouldn’t he? She seemed happy, she was smiling, and winked at him as she started telling Paula the story of how she lost her front tooth when she fell of a swing. She carried Paula into the living room, leaving Alberto smiling at the two of them in the kitchen. An Oscar worthy performance. Alberto looked at her body language, at her smile; he never saw the ice in her eyes. He seemed more than satisfied. As Raquel switched on the TV, Paula lying on her lap, Alberto poured them some wine. She was gently stroking Paula’s hair when he handed her the glass. She suppressed a sigh of relief. Situation under control. For now.

She could do this.

That night, after she put Paula to sleep, she came downstairs to finish the wine with Alberto. It had been so long since they had been like this. In another time, Raquel would have done anything for a moment like this; their daughter asleep, and the two of them, talking about everything and nothing over a glass of wine. In moments like this she remembered the man she fell in love with. His smile, his laughing eyes, the way he would furrow his eyebrows to make her laugh. She was laughing today too, but it was hollow. The memory of the man she loved had vanished, as if it had never existed. She felt nothing and that feeling was starting to creep up on her; it chilled her to the bones, seriously starting to terrify her. All the ruthlessness she had mustered earlier, when she came downstairs to continue with her performance of ignorance, was slowly fading at the realisation of what she was going to do. All of a sudden, she tensed, not wanting to believe any of this was actually happening. She felt uncomfortable in her skin; she was simply lost. What had happened to the woman who would give her life to see Alberto like this? When did she disappear? Did it happen all at once today, in that deafening silence? Or had it been Alicia’s touch? Or when she’d mercilessly stare at her, all those months ago, biting back the question, “why”?

For this Raquel would answer, her head was spinning from all the wine as she pressed her lips to his. But it wasn’t this, as she felt nothing. She deepened the kiss. Nothing. She felt her body slam against a kitchen cabinet, warm hands roaming her body. Nothing. Disgust, with him, with herself. What the fuck was she doing? What had gotten into her? Anger, at herself for not being able to answer the question she always saw in Alicia’s eyes. For this. That was meant to be the answer. And she started wondering who she was trying to prove wrong. Skin against skin; hands bruising her hips yet the touch felt feather light. For this. Because she loved him. So why could she not feel it now, as he kissed her slowly, affectionately? Was it her alcohol induced search for love which pushed her into his arms? Or was it something else? Was it part of her performance? Or was it because she wasn’t used to the feeling of coldness? The numbness became overwhelming. It seemed like one desperate yet futile attempt to go back. Nothing, as she felt warm lips press to her neck. It was a terrifying realisation, yet unlike before when such a feeling of distance and coldness gave her power, now it felt debilitating. She wanted to feel, at least a spark of the desire and love which made her willing to forgive this man everything. Not because she wanted to forgive him, no. For herself. Because she felt scared. Terrified that she had become like the many criminals she looked down on with disdain, unable to understand their numbness to the world and to harm. She was good, she wanted to be good, all her fucking life she had tried to be good; being invincible all of a sudden was no longer a comfortable thought, even if she knew there was no other choice. With every empty kiss she wanted to go back, to stop driving herself to ruin. She hated herself, she hated herself with an ardent passion; there were no words for how disgusted she felt with herself as she grabbed Alberto’s hand and lead him to their bedroom. She couldn’t stop herself because she desperately needed to know if she had crossed the final line; that she had lost all the love, respect, anything, she felt for this man. No hate or disgust could overpower the pain of losing herself indefinably, drowning in the icy depths of no return. However fucked up it was, she needed this for herself, to feel something. But she felt nothing, fucking nothing. With her name on Alberto’s lips filling the darkness of the night, she finally let the madness swallow her up.

When she felt the weight of Alberto’s body, spent, collapsing next to her on the bed, her worst fear was confirmed; there was no return. She heard him fall asleep, as she simply stared at the ceiling. A singular tear rolled down her cheek; not for Alberto, not for Paula. The only tear she would ever shed for herself. For the girl who long ago died in Alberto’s arms. For her inability to go back. For the love she knew she would never find. Not every freedom is freeing.

She was now certain, that there was nothing left to stop her.

It took three days to get Paula out of the house. She first though of her parents, then even of Alberto’s parents, but decided she couldn’t risk things getting out of hand. She finally went with Paula’s friend’s mum, Claudia, who run a summer camp by the seaside. Paula’s best friend Fran, Claudia’s daughter, was going; Paula had begged her months ago but she wanted to her nothing of it. Now, things had changed. She persuaded Alberto it was a great idea; Paula would be gone for two weeks, in which they had time to keep working on their relationship. Apparently, the night they spent together had been more than enough to persuade him. She took it one step further, suggesting that they should both take the next week off and join Paula for a much-needed family holiday. Alberto smiled and said he’d call in to book the week off immediately.

As predicted, Alberto made some remark as to why Raquel had changed all her shifts around. He assumed it was the first time that Raquel would be separated from Paula for such a long time and wanted to spend as much time with her. Of course, above all it was to make sure that there wasn’t a single moment in which Paula was alone with Alberto. But that was far from the explanation she gave him. It was a perfect opportunity to put her plan to action. Because what is a perfect crime without a motive? Fiction. Raquel told Alberto, that in reality, she was changing her shifts because after the incident on Thursday, Alicia was terrorising her. What Alberto loved more than seeing Raquel submit was, being her knight in shinning armour.

Two days later, on Monday, Raquel was sitting behind her desk in the office. She smiled on the inside as she saw Alberto have a go at Alicia over absolutely nothing for the third time today. It’s not like having a go at Alicia was out of norm in the office environment; it was actually all that ever happened. It was just rather peculiar that it was Alberto, who, working on a different case, didn’t have to deal with Alicia at all. But since people understood that Alicia did have the ability to annoy people just with her presence, it was accepted, yet not forgotten. And that’s what Raquel needed; for people to take note of these moments. Angel had already sent her five questioning looks, even Pedro raised his eyebrows at her. Good.

It was the key to her narrative. To build on Alicia’s interactions with Alberto; the not so positive ones. She needed it to be witnessed. So, that everything would add up. When everyone heard what had happened, they’d slowly put one and two together, shocked, that it was something they could’ve missed. It was bullshit that the best criminals are raised on the streets. The best criminals are raised in the police. Raquel had all the knowledge she required to commit the perfect crime. Anyone could access protocols, but not everyone knew the police inside out like Raquel did. It was far more than a simply psychological observation anyone could make; it was the weird work habits and beliefs of her co-workers which enabled her to use their nature against them. For example, Alba from the scientific department, starts gathering evidence not in order of importance, but in colour order, starting with green. Not only did Raquel have the ability to set up a perfect crime scene, she had the ability to set it out in a way in which her co-workers found exactly what she wanted them to find in the given time. She had all their shifts. She knew exactly who would be doing what. She didn’t even have to put too much thought into it. It was simple.

The cost of diverting a flight to deal with a passenger's behaviour typically ranges from $15,000 to $100,000. Depending on the case, some passengers are called up to responsibility whilst others are not. A Qatar plane was forced to land mid-flight when a woman had managed to unlock her husband’s phone and found out he was cheating on her. The cabin crew could not control the woman, to the extent the plane was forced to land. How big of a fine did the no-so-happy marriage have to pay? Not a single cent. Because love, in the realms of law and ethics, is seen as a primal agent; one which has a power strong enough to be, when the circumstances call for it, excused.

Raquel’s plan was to get rid of Alberto and get money. More precisely, the money Alicia supposedly had. Even if she didn’t, Raquel was willing to take the chance. Alicia would never offer to help, meaning, that the only way to get her to go back for the money, was by force. How does one force someone to go back to a crime scene knowing that they’re guilty? It’s suicidal. No one would go back. Unless. Unless, they have to flee another crime scene. Which was precisely what Raquel was planning to do; make it out that it was Alicia who killed Alberto, rather than her. It was easy enough making sure the crime scene left with no doubt who committed the crime, with her husband being the best scientific policeman in the country, but the perfect crime needed a motive. So, what motive would Alicia have to murder Alberto? One, none other than love.

Misha, once told her, having seen a bruise on her arm a long time ago, that if she ever needed any help with anything, absolutely anything, he could help. He repeated the same thing when she left the café on Saturday, and now, on Wednesday, Paula finally out of the house, she made her way straight back to ‘World Internet’. She explained that in order to speed up divorce procedure, and due to the fact her husband was on the police, she needed as much evidence against him as possible. She needed to prove he was having a romance. Misha nodded solemnly, and in under 15 minutes, a man in his early twenties walked into the shop. He introduced himself as Vanya; Misha’s son and her knight in shining armour.

Turned out the Vanya worked at a hotel reception, and apparently it wasn’t his first-time switching around and adding dates of peoples stays at the hotel. Raquel had all of Alberto’s details, and managed to grab Alicia’s purse when she was in a meeting. It took Vanya a few minutes to sort everything out. In the meantime, Raquel grabbed a few souvenirs from the hotel to put in Alberto’s draw’s; a pen, a little notebook – the hotel even had a stress ball with their logo. Having a husband who only ever talked about DNA and taking fingerprints off things made her life easier in a way she never would’ve expected, as due to this, her expertise on the subject was unquestionable. She made her way back to the reception, deciding she was definitely going to put Alicia’s fingerprints on the stress ball too. Alicia was always stressed. Vanya was already waiting for her with a smile; he told her everything had been sorted it terms of the guest logbook and the cameras had been frozen so she didn’t have to worry about being seen. Turned out the boy was a genius when it came to computers and was also ridiculously efficient; not a single lose end. She would definitely keep him in mind, just in case she needed something else of a similar nature. She kissed him on the cheek and just as she was about to leave, he suggested leaving Alicia’s purse at the hotel. He would call the police headquarters and inform Alicia Sierra that her purse had been found. Considering all phone calls were registered; a conversation with Alicia about her accidentally leaving something (Vanya had an oratory talent to make things sound as what they’re not) in the hotel in which she was supposedly meeting regularly with the man she was having an affair with – a cherry on top.

The one good thing about affairs, especially when everyone involved works in one place, is that they’re meant to be secret. No party would be stupid enough to leave enough evidence to get caught. The clues had to be there, but subtle. Too much would also be bad. Raquel decided the furthest she’d go would be some love notes; more like fifty shades of grey notes, that she’d put into both of their desk draws. Raquel was a rather rebellious pupil and at the time managed to find a book about the various techniques of copying handwriting; all the behaviour notes she got from her teachers were never seen by her mum, but were unquestionably answered in her handwriting. It was a little party trick of Raquel’s, which turned out to be useful in a way she never would’ve suspected.

For the rest of the week Raquel concentrated on getting the other side of the plan together. She borrowed her nephew’s car and drove out to the countryside were her grandparents used to have a summer house. She remembered playing near a lake, and often exploring the forest with her little sister. She left a bag in a hole between some rocks by the lake, covering it up to make sure no one would see. In there she had clothes, some money, documents, a phone and a gun. She couldn’t risk anything not going to plan on the day, and leaving a that bag in the car was not an option, just in case Alicia took it to her advantage. She drove further along and into the woods, thinking of where the best place to stop would be. She made a note to stop on the outskirts of the eastern side of the forest. She drove back home and finalised a few details with transport and accommodation, and of course, Paula.

Each night Raquel made dinner; she’d sit down with Alberto, jazz softly playing in the background, candles on the table, and wine. They’d talk for hours. Alberto’s true wife was his work. He only really seemed calm when he talked about his work. Not that Raquel ever cared too much, always wanting to escape from work at home, but Alberto really was the walking encyclopedia of crime scenes. They were his passion; he knew all the fun facts, the usually missed details and littlest of observations which slip the eye of even the greatest experts. He found nothing unusual when Raquel started questioning him about bits and pieces she had read in an article, or something she couldn’t fully get her head around on a case. Alberto loved talking about his work and was really happy that for once Raquel seemed so fascinated in what he had to say. Raquel smiled; her eyes glowing as she swirled around the red wine in her glass. How strange and uncertain are the destinies of the world, in which one can plan their murder out loud, without knowing it.

Wednesday morning arrived, nearly two weeks had passed since the night she spent at Alicia’s and the weekend her life fell apart. Most of her plan was complete; now all she had to do was add some finishing touches. Another plus of working at the police was knowing who managed the CCTV of the local area, where the cameras were, and most importantly who to go to when she wanted them to be switched off. Alicia’s block had private CCTV; she didn’t find it too hard to bribe the person to switch the screens of for an hour or so on Thursday evening. There were no cameras on her street, a few dotted around the residential area and one or two traffic cameras further along. It was surprisingly possible to get to Alicia’s house only driving past one camera; one which no one would check because it was off any sort of logical route. Her escape was sorted. The key was for no one to be able to track her going from her house to Alicia’s apartment. Alicia being seen driving Raquel’s car anywhere, if they eventually tracked it, was more than fine. Without being able to trace Raquel’s initial movement, the police would assume that the only place Alicia could’ve gotten into that car, was at the crime scene.

One of the main keys to a believable narrative was the murder weapon. Of course, no one, especially Alicia would be stupid enough to shoot someone with their police gun. However, Raquel wasn’t planning on making the scenario out to be one of a plotted murder. It was an argument between lovers, highly fueled by emotions; ‘love’, can not only be used as an excuse when circumstances called for it, but also be the perfectly unquestionable reason and motive to escalate a what might not have seemed like a bad situation. That’s why it was indispensable to drop enough hints of a possible emotional connection between the two. No one would be stupid enough to use their police gun in a planned murder; but if Alicia simply turned up at the house after work? Still in her uniform with her gun by her side? Then, the argument with her ‘lover’, escalated so much that it prompted her to instinctively draw the gun and shoot it? It would seem like a very logical scenario.

On Wednesday evening Raquel decided to take this matter into her own hands; how does one get Alicia’s gun without her realising it? Simply by swapping it around with someone else’s weapon. Perhaps Alicia was expecting her lover to be violent; perhaps they were going to discuss a serious issue? No surprise that fear would’ve driven Alicia to disarm him; maybe she had done it long ago? Maybe this romance had a history of violence? Those were all the questions the police would be asking themselves when they found Alberto’s police registered gun at Alicia’s place. Apparently the two had a similar taste in guns; the only difference between the beretta Alicia had, and Alberto’s one, was the little serial number engraved on the side. Neither should notice that the gun they had wasn’t theirs. It was simple enough to switch her one and Alberto’s before work in the morning, Alicia was more difficult. She took her chance when Alicia went to hand in the evening report, to Raquel’s luck, leaving the gun behind. No one was around at this time; and it took two minutes for Raquel to sort everything out. All she could now do was pray that Alicia didn’t decide to all of a sudden need a closer look at the registration number in the next twenty or so hours.

Raquel woke up on Thursday morning. It was early, the grey light seeped into the room. She rolled over to face Alberto who was still deeply asleep. She looked at him, studied each of his features in detail; not to remember but to forget. How did they manage to get here? How had they managed to destroy each other?

She looked at him and she remembered one last time, because she had to. To forever shut this chapter of her life. She remembered when he first caught her eye at the academy; he was nearly finishing and she was just starting. She remembered the first time they talked, the way he smiled at her, the way she thought he was so gallant as he kissed her hand in goodbye. Their first date, kiss; the first time she thought she was in love with him, when they were dancing together on the beach under the night sky. She remembered their wedding day, how happy he was when he found out she was pregnant, when he first held Paula in his arms…

She also remembered the first time he raised his voice at her. She was so confused; it took three more times for him to do it for her to register it. She remembered how she thought it was fine. She remembered the first time he hit her. The thing people don’t seem to ever acknowledge that the essence of tragedy is banality. Their first fight wasn’t over some big life changing issue; he came into the kitchen and threw his plate in the sink saying how there was something wrong with the pasta. She laughed at him until she had to grab onto the kitchen counter for balance, and watched slowly, as the blood leaking from her nose stained the surface below her.

She remembered all the times she saw crimson coloured water swirl down the drain in the shower, the sink. She remembered that one time everything just hurt too much and spent the night on the kitchen floor, waking up to Paula coming downstairs early for breakfast; she did everything in her power for her daughter to never witness anything but that she simply couldn’t explain why she was on the lying on the ground covered in wine. That’s what she said it was. Spilt wine. She remembered when she woke up in hospital, not knowing what had happened. Yet she still didn’t leave, she held onto every smile, every kiss, every little bit affection as a sign of hope. For this. Because back then, it was enough.

She remembered the first time her life really fell apart was when she was flicking through a case of domestic abuse; it claimed there wasn’t enough evidence. She realised, for the first time, the justice she believed in with all her heart, was at fault. No one would ever believe her that any marks left on her body could’ve been caused by Alberto. She was no one to go up against Alberto. If they didn’t believe the poor woman, how were they going to ever believe her? She must’ve looked really bad as even Alicia got her a coffee; well, she claimed that she ordered something else and they gave her the wrong thing. She walked away saying something along the lines that the waste goes to the dogs but Raquel didn’t even have the energy to call her a bitch. She sipped the drink and smiled; Alicia had her coffee black and with no sugar. The cappuccino with chocolate and sugar which Alicia gave her, was unmistakably what Raquel always ordered. Which could only mean, it was worse than she thought.

She lifted her hand up and traced Alberto’s cheek, stopping her hand inches away from his face, not trusting herself not to dig her nails into his skin. Perhaps she never left because it seemed far easier. Far easier to have set definitions of good and bad. Alberto had to be good, because if he wasn’t the principle of justice which she spent all her life defending would simply crumble to pieces. Before, seeing all the people who came in and out of arrest, she would look at with disapproval; there always had to be a way to solve one’s issues in a lawful manner. She really believed that; it was that belief which made her join the police, which allowed to work her way so high up. Alberto was the definition of goodness and justice for everyone. The solidness of her beliefs crumbled blow by blow yet it seemed far easier to stay than acknowledging the fault in the system she built her life on. Her life was nothing but an illusion; she knew shit all about good or bad. How was she meant to uphold beliefs which she no longer believed existed? She would never be able to arrest someone, knowing that it was so easy for them to find themselves on the other side of the law, in order to deliver justice which, the system denied them. Of course, there were bad people which deserved to be punished, and Raquel always acknowledged that behind many of the crimes there were understandable reasons. She just believed, that justice, if and when delivered properly, was the one option. That’s why she always relied on her peaceful work ethic. Because she wanted to prove so badly that righteousness could exist.

It turned out that it wasn’t that simple. She rolled over onto her back. She loved her life before it got so complicated, grasping onto any hope which she could. She loved her husband. She loved her job and the notion she was able to bring peace and safety to the victims. She grabbed onto it like a drowning man grabs onto a straw; Misha laughed at her when she told him that in ‘World internet’ two days ago. He stopped her, handed her some cheesecake, and asked her about her husband, sensing that she really needed this conversation. So, when she finished telling him that she was grabbing onto nothing, he laughed and explained that where he is from, the drowning man grabs onto a razor. He wasn’t wrong. It was exactly what she was doing.

She finally remembered the day he hit Paula. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut at the memory, trying to calm her breathing. She was fine with going through hell and back, trying not to destroy the illusion of the life and love she once had. She wouldn’t force her daughter to do the same. The system was done for, corrupt; it wouldn’t protect Paula from Alberto if he was a serial killer, because he was one of the ones who run the system. She took one last glance at him before getting up to shower. From all she remembered, she couldn’t bring herself to feel any remorse.

Misha, during their conversation two days ago, also told her she was raised in the wrong country. He told her she talked too much about hope. Raquel smiled as she helped herself to some more crisps; they had been talking for over two hours. He told her that where he was from, hope didn’t die last. Hope was the mother of the stupid. It made Raquel laugh; he wasn’t wrong. He asked her if she needed anything. Of any sorts. After two hours of a conversation about how her husband had abused her, the question could only mean one thing. She did. She needed an unregistered gun and a silencer. She knew it was far too risky to ask around, despite having more than enough information from the police database. No guarantee if she’ll get it in time, if she’ll get it at all. Misha nodded solemnly and stood up, opening the safe he had below the till. He handed Raquel the box, smiling. His green eyes sparkling with an emotion she couldn’t put her finger on; he winked at her, simply saying he thought she might ask. She froze suddenly terrified; was it so bad people could tell? 

She got out the shower and got changed; she could hear Alberto downstairs making breakfast. She screwed on the silencer onto the end of Alicia’s gun and sighed. It was really it. She wondered if Alberto could tell. Misha had observed her for long enough to know something was up; in reality, as well as work, the café became her shelter. She must’ve mentioned to Vanya what Alberto did to Paula too. Perhaps, they too, simply came to conclusion that it had to be this.

She made her way down the stairs, past the hallway and into the kitchen. Alberto smiled at her, but her face was completely devoid of emotions. He was making coffee. It almost made her laugh. Alberto was a god. An authority. He would never imagine he’d meet his ends in his underwear and vest making coffee. He was saying something but Raquel didn’t hear a word. Raquel realised he sealed his sentence that day in the mirror. Nothing could change her mind. She tried. She thought her hands would shake, she thought that it would make her feel nauseous; she planned it out and imagined it many times. Yet when she pointed the gun at Alberto, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Her hands didn’t shake, her breathing was steady; she really was meant to do this.

All the blood drained from Alberto’s face. He stood immobile, shocked, not expecting his fate.

Hannah Arendt, when writing about the banality of evil, in perhaps something along the lines of a controversial defence of the Nazi officer Eichmann, talked about how authority can change the notions of good and evil overnight. Following orders, was exactly what dammed the ruthless man in the eyes of the judges, but in his own eyes, was precisely what justified him. He was no doubt guilty; the journalist didn’t defend him in that sense. She simply explained how he died not understanding the crime he was condemned for.

When Raquel shot, with no hesitation, pressing the trigger until there were no longer any bullets, one thought went through her head. She watched his body, lifelessly collapse to the floor she found herself so often pushed to. She knelt down beside him; the metallic smell filled her nostrils and she frowned. Looking at him, she wondered, if he died understanding why.

She stood up, glancing one last time at who she though was the love of her life. She tried to blink away the tears that never came; it was nine in the morning. She had over ten hours to set out the perfect crime scene and not a second to lose. She had everything planned out; centimetre by centimetre. All the equipment she needed Alberto had in bulk quantities in his home office and the garage. She had done it. She was free. But the worst thing was, that she didn’t feel a single bit of remorse.

She was finished by eight in the evening. Raquel was a perfectionist. They could find some of the evidence vague; romances and affairs were a nightmare to prove. Different numbers, using different names, or just simply not enough evidence. The crime scene, however, left little doubt who committed the crime and why. Crime scenes, as Alberto would say, were the most authentic of stories. Every crime scene needed a choreography to tell its story. In the right conditions and with the right equipment and the right knowledge, it can be plotted out by the minute. Raquel’s choreography told a story of an argument between lovers gone terribly wrong. DNA, hair, blood; everything. Another key thing was how and when “Alicia” decided to leave. In this aspect, the crime scene seemed to scream; panic. Rush. Carelessly. With intent of coming back quickly and never making it. Alberto always laughed as to how many people stupidly forget about the murder weapon; with the rush of adrenaline, they initially hide it whist they get rid of the body. Then they panic, not wanting to return to the crime scene, and flee, simply leaving the weapon behind. “Alicia”, apparently, fell exactly into that category; the gun was unceremoniously dumped in the microwave. Hidden but forgotten. Why would “Alicia” leave the crime scene so quickly? The scenario which would unfold in front of the scientific department was simple; she was dragging the body down the hallway towards the garage when she heard a noise. In a house with walls so thin one could hear the neighbours TV, such a scenario was more than likely. Especially since she would’ve just fired a gun, multiple times, without a silencer. Raquel knew there was not a soul around as Thursday night was bingo night, if and when the police decided to question why nothing was reported. So, Alicia must’ve heard some sort of noise, a cat, a draft slamming a door in the neighbour’s house, anything really. Maybe she was so stressed out she simply thought she heard something? So, it was clear, that for one of the reasons above, “Alicia” panicked and left the scene as soon as possible, forgetting about many details. The crime scene, therefore, told the authentic story of an argument gone terribly wrong, and some very panicked and absolutely not planned improvisation. In other words, falling into a category of the typical crime scene. It was up to the police to figure out which version it was, but what was important was that they had a few believable enough versions of events to choose from.

Raquel, having decided that the evidence was sufficient for the explanations not to be outside the realm of the imaginary, made her way to the garage. Raquel cursed Alberto when he decided to build a garage which had a door attaching it to the inside of the house; perhaps the unlucky bastard should’ve listened to her for once in his life. She would have never had it this smooth with getting his body into the back of the car had he not thought of the whole garage thing. The irony. She opened the car door and the metallic smell lingered heavily in the air. On the back seats there were two bin bags with stuff she used to set everything up which she needed to dispose of on her way to Alicia’s. It happened that there was a dump, ever so slightly off her route, which was perfect. She started the car and for the last time ever, she drove out, leaving the illusion of a life she once had, far behind. The dump she was heading to wasn’t the closest one to her house either, making it seem like a less likely choice if anyone would be mad enough to ever decide to search a dump. There were no camera’s around the back and the fence was half destroyed that it was easy enough to get in.

She parked the car right outside where there was a gap in the fence. In under four minutes the only evidence which could incriminate her were buried amongst already decomposing trash. She took a deep breath; she had to turn around and drive back up the street, to continue on her already planned out route to Alicia’s. However, she had one more thing to do. Alicia wouldn’t be fooled by any old bruise to drive her half the way across the country. Making sure no one was in sight, she grabbed a plastic bag from out behind of her seat. Inside there was a piece of broken glass and something reminiscent of a metal pole. She took a deep breath, knowing she had no time to waste, as the camera’s in Alicia’s block would only be switched off for a certain amount of time. She hissed as she sunk the piece of glass into her abdomen, making sure to avoid arteries; she needed it to look believable but also to not be lethal. She felt her eyes flood with tears as she took the glass out of her side, the metallic smell inside the car becoming impossibly stronger. Perhaps she did it a little too deep, but now was not the time to worry about that. She turned the rear-view mirror ever so slightly towards her, and proceeded to cut her lip with the glass, throwing it back into the bag. Now for the worst; she took a deep breath and smashed the metal pole into her brow ridge until she felt warm blood trickle down her cheek. The pain was demanding to be felt, yet Raquel ignored it; she still had a ten-minute drive to get to Alicia’s.

Everything was going to plan. Despite Alicia insisting on looking at the wound, which was worse than Raquel thought, they had managed to get out in time before the camera’s went back on. Raquel decided to get some rest on the backseats, covered by a blanket for more reasons than just the cold; it was going to be almost impossible to track them, but she didn’t exactly want to make her presence in the car known.

It was actually going phenomenally well, but Raquel cursed herself that she forgot this was Alicia and things could never go smoothly. The fucking chicken pen. Out of all things which the plan involved going wrong, Raquel really didn’t think that it would be fucking chickens which would be the reason of their failure.

The moment Alicia finished digging that hole, under no suspicion of what she was actually doing, Raquel was going to announce that there was yet another change of plans. She’d give Alicia an ultimatum; she could help her get the money or call the police and get herself arrested for first degree murder. All the evidence pointed to her, and being caught with the body, wasn’t going to help her case. She could either be a rich fugitive or a poor one, because Raquel wouldn’t hesitate to call the police. It was a win win for Raquel; she’d either be a rich fugitive or wouldn’t be going to jail. It was Alicia’s fate which was in her own hands. They still technically had time to return before Raquel’s family holiday was over, and the ‘conference’ Raquel arranged Alicia to attend, finished. This would give Alicia enough time to clean up the evidence. No sign of Raquel would point to her as the principal suspect, and Alicia would face no charges. It was that simple; a shitty choice for Alicia, but to respect their partnership, Raquel was generous enough to give her a chance to say if she might actually prefer jail. Raquel couldn’t have laid it out better for her, it was up to Alicia to play her cards.

Raquel knew that Alicia would go along with it. She was certain. Mainly because the plan hinged on Alicia’s nature. On her primal instinct of survival. She would have to go along with the ultimatum as despite however shitty the situation Raquel put her in, Alicia was capable of things beyond the extreme to save her own skin. Raquel knew that she would most definitely face Alicia’s rage and wrath, but Raquel knew Alicia was also intelligent enough to not only understand she didn’t have any other option, but that Raquel was capable of doing anything for Paula and wouldn’t go down without a fight. In the end, they weren’t that different.

But no. Fucking Alicia Sierra had to run over some chickens and here they were. In a fucking ditch. Raquel should be scared, should be thinking of something, perhaps doing a short version of her speech to Alicia now. It was one thing forcing Alicia to make the choice to come with her, and another, sending her straight to jail on the spot. However much she hated Alicia, there had to be a bottom line of ‘respect’ for their little partnership to work. Deep down she wanted her plan to work. Deep down she knew she needed Alicia. She took someone’s life today and she could feel nothing. In all honestly, she couldn’t feel anything since the moment Alberto hit Paula. And now with Alicia’s body pinning her down she wanted to laugh. Her plan had been forgotten with the sting of hate she felt when Alicia pulled her down. With how disquieting her closeness felt. With how intoxicating yet involuntary the pull she had to this woman. But most importantly she fucking finally felt something. They were fucked. But she definitely wasn’t ready to let this go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..... well, who was expecting that?
> 
> ........ more like, what now? 
> 
> I love my female character empowered and plotting against each other lmao FOR NOW.... dw I’m a sucker for happy endings and I’ve still got a a lot more chapters to go; the next few chapters are gonna be a lot more lighterrrr dwww I’ve got yall 
> 
> it is surprisingly hard to justify a planned murder; please tell me if you thought it was oc etc. -- hope it wasn't because my google search history is rather 'questionable'.
> 
> This is also the chapter which made me continue writing the story; I hope it was worth it. Also it's hella long??? I hope yall don't mind?? Once again thank you sooo much for reading and all the comments! And get ready for more chaos ;D


	6. Six Feet Under

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holaaa my loves! Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments and kudosss; they give me life <333
> 
> Sorry for taking soooo long; sometimes I forget I'm a legit adult with responsibilities and a lot of unplanned things came up which I had to sort out lol
> 
> Hopefully the content and amount will make it up for you- I promised lightness! This chapter couldn't be more different to the last one; alsooo its a cute 11,8k lol so ya know, hope that makes up for my long absence
> 
> I knowww a lot of drastic decisions make in the past chapter; I though it was poetic justice for Raquel to deal with Alberto and thought it was essential for her to make that decision herself - dwww there will be a lot of plotting etc. with Alicia - I legit needed to get rid of Alberto asap.
> 
> Everyone worried about Alicia... it's Alicia! Pls worry about Raquel; she'll defo need it more ;)))
> 
> No warnings? Well, some violence towards the end - also humour but very specific humour? - I honestly apologies

Alicia Sierra looked down at Raquel in disbelief. Now, that, she most certainly wasn’t expecting. The woman below her finally revealed why exactly she should be worried about the police arriving in the next few moments. Alicia looked at her in disbelief, both from what she just heard and how the woman decided to whisper it against her lips.

Alicia decided she was never going to complain about shitty comedies ever again. This had turned out to be a rather unexpected turn of events, and if not for the fact that she was it’s one and only victim, she’d appreciate how ingenious the plan was. However, now she could feel her skin burning with rage. The woman below her really did know how to put on a show.

She cursed herself; the police car was approaching fast and she had no time to process all of this and think of some ingenious plan to save them both. Raquel was unbelievable; did she really expect her to think of something? Of course she did; she knew Alicia was more than capable of it, hence she picked her, out of all people – well, one of the reasons for it anyhow. So what? She had to channel all her energy into not killing Raquel just yet, so she could do it slowly and painfully as soon as the police were gone. She had to think of something; what did she know about the situation?

Alberto hit Paula and Raquel lost it. That was understandable. Then Raquel, desperate to get out, decide to get rid of the problem once for all, and frame Alicia for the whole affair. For what reason? Money. Who else would be better to drag into this shit other than her? She knew she had money, and it was probably a relief to in a way be able to deliver justice to Alicia’s victims from the past and finally put her behind bars, even if for a different crime. Miss Justice might have felt guilty framing Angel, the teddy bear, for murder, but her? Now knowing she should probably still be serving a prison sentence somewhere in Morocco, Alicia was screaming ‘pick me’. Raquel would’ve probably ignored the photos had she not decided she was in the mood for telling her about her life and then nearly strangling her when she hit a soft spot. She never suspected Raquel would take advantage of such a thing, which was so stupid and ignorant of her to think. Alicia literally served her head on a plate to Raquel.

She might have wanted to strangle her. Kill her with her bare hands. Alicia had a well payed job, a high rank and respect within the police, a minimalistic style apartment in central Madrid. Alicia had her life together; she had everything to lose. Even with all rage and anger she felt at Raquel for what she had done, above all, Alicia was furious with herself. It was her fault; she should have never left loose ends. Alicia suspected the woman was a piece of work even if she didn’t know it herself yet; Alicia simply dismissed it, with the hope she would never be pushed to find out. She simply underestimated how quickly and how far everything could escalate.

She knew Raquel would go out and investigate but wasn’t expecting such spectacular results so soon. Actually, she wasn’t expecting this at all. Amongst the articles and witness statements, she was expecting Raquel to dig up her past crimes, and confront her with them. Not that she would be able to prove anything, but they were still to some degree a threat to Alicia’s stability. It was hard enough working with Raquel when she thought she was simply a bitch; it was going to be a different ride with her co-worker suspecting her guilty of theft and manslaughter – if not murder. Everyone always joked about Alicia’s ‘dark side’, but it would stop being so funny the moment the saint of the police force had such information. It would, no doubt, make her life hell. Especially since she was by day growing weirdly fond of her; perhaps she was simply enjoying the last days of Raquel looking at her with the usual amount of judgment. In the end, she didn’t really care that much, did she?

Alicia looked down at Raquel who had closed her eyes. She was probably expecting some form of punishment or death; at that moment something snapped in Alicia. Even if she still felt the need to dig her nails into the woman’s throat, at this point she was seriously debating if she could even blame her. Raquel simply took advantage of what Alicia had provided her with. She had grown careless. In her other life, things like this got you killed. The grimace of anger on her face turned into a smirk. All of this was absurd. Still sitting on top of Raquel, holding her in place, Alicia leaned down and nuzzled her head in the crook of Raquel’s neck. She burst out laughing.

The comedy of the situation became overwhelming; her rage and anger were gone as soon as she saw Raquel squeezing her eyes tightly shut. The pale moonlight painted Raquel’s skin an alabaster tone; the dirt mixed with blood was reduced to tones of grey. There was something magnetic about the curve of her neck, the way her chest was moving up and down rhythmically; Alicia, against her own will, couldn’t help but notice. Her delicate wrists still held tightly in Alicia’s grip; she wondered if she would be able to snap them. Her soft skin, hot against her face. At her mercy. That’s what made Alicia laugh. Raquel and her ingenious intuition.

“Hija de puta,” she whispered against her skin and she felt Raquel shiver.

There was something Alicia found so intoxicating about the situation. She loved having power. Raquel knew it. It was something she would seek in all aspects of her life; her job, her sex life, or in a supermarket when she would hit someone with her trolley because they were going too slowly. Telling Alicia everything was a form of surrender; Raquel had given her power over the situation. To do what she wanted. There was something incredibly intoxicating about Raquel willingly letting Alicia strangle her if she pleased. Raquel was the only person who would never allow Alicia to have full power; they would fight and claw at each other for the littlest bit of dominance. It seemed almost overwhelming to see the very Raquel Murillo submit to her, even if it was with a different intention. Something about it made her breath just a little shallower.

What could she do with such power? It was tempting to give into the urge of giving Raquel exactly what she wanted; rage. Now, Alicia realised that when Raquel pressed her bloody lips to Alicia’s cheek, she was simply lost. She wanted to feel the shame, the remorse, the pain she should’ve felt when she pulled that trigger. From their little fight a few seconds ago, she discovered Alicia could give her just that.

It would be so easy to take her anger out on Raquel; she wanted to see her at her mercy. However, if Alicia took advantage of Raquel’s pleas to wrap her hands around her neck, she would be doing the exact opposite of gaining power; she’d be giving into Raquel’s desires. That’s why Raquel was so keen to put herself into Alicia’s hands; she knew it would be in its own fucked up way, empowering. It made Alicia laugh; their game of power was on a completely different level. Alicia might have been furious, but she wouldn’t allow her anger to cloud her judgement; Raquel wasn’t going to have what she wanted that easily.

So, what would she do? Running away was definitely out of the plan; where to? They were in the middle of nowhere. Giving Raquel what she wanted was definitely not an option, especially with the police just around the corner; it would make it too easy for Raquel to pretend she is Alicia’s next or current victim. Just in case Alicia didn’t think of something in the next few minutes, she knew Raquel would decide that her easiest option would be to frame Alicia on the spot. Alicia knew that Raquel’s need to save her own skin was as profound and primal as Alicia’s; she was willing to tell Alicia everything to keep all her options open, but in the worst case, Alicia knew she wouldn’t hesitate to throw her under the tracks; good. Alicia would’ve done the same. Not that this was currently a relieving thought.

How does one explain digging a hole in the woods in the middle of the night? Good question. Alicia felt Raquel tense and uncomfortably shift beneath her; this was definitely not what she was expecting. Alicia was so absorbed in her thoughts she still hadn’t moved, comfortably lying on Raquel. Alicia, her head still cradled in the crook of Raquel’s neck, chuckled. Her delicate skin hot against her cheek. Now, that gave her an idea. Perhaps a bit far-fetched but with a lot of potential; the perfect way to explain why they had dug the ditch and at the same time get back Raquel, in a way which she was far from suspecting.

Alicia remembered one of the things she got told on her first day of work in the police, was the story of poor Pablo. He was a new recruit who got a bit too caught up in a case his fellow colleagues warned him to not take up. Pablo ignored everyone, and went ahead to investigate a rather controversial case. Everyone knew the case was a very complex one, and it took very little time for Pablo to make a tragic mistake. Very quickly the rather controversial content of his findings was turned into a joke. Despite everyone knowing such a mistake could be easily made, no one seemed to care as Pablo ignored their warnings. The running joke of ‘Pablo saw what he saw because it was his fantasy’, became a saying which kept haunting Pablo years after the whole incident. The moral of the story which Alicia got told, was simply that, sometimes, if there is no immediate danger, it was better to leave the strange and weird things.

One of those things, which Alicia would classify as ‘technically on the verge of the law but far too weird to actually question’, would be digging a hole in the middle of the woods. For personal use. To fulfill one’s personal fantasy. No matter how many noise complaints or run over chickens had been reported, there would be no way Alicia would even think of filing something like that down. Back at the start of Alicia’s career in the police, she had been sent to many noise complaints; on more than one occasion it was drunk teens caught in not so comfortable situations. The awkwardness of the scenario’s always seemed like more than enough of a punishment; on her return to the police station, she’d claim she never found the source of the complaint. The last thing she needed was to be up at three in the morning filling in reports about someone’s unfortunately spotted adventures. Especially the more creative they got. If Alicia ever came across a couple getting hot and heavy in a ditch in the middle of the woods she wouldn’t think twice about running. Firstly, having to deal with these people; who knows what goes through their minds? Secondly, spending the rest of her career being called the ‘necro-police’ or some shit? Never.

The people taking the night shift, the worst shifts, were more than likely to be new recruits; it would be a win win for both parties if they forgot about the incident and claimed the source of the noise complains was never found rather than being found in a ditch up to some dubious activities for ‘fun and experimenting’.

How would this be a means to punish Raquel? Very simply. Out of all the methods of torture, the psychological ones are always the most profound. For example, ‘white torture’, or in other words, absolute sensory deprivation. Denying the poor prisoners something as simple as colour; everything is white, from their clothes to what they eat, locked up in a white room. Not that Alicia was planning to lock Raquel up in a white room; it was using the idea of what ‘white torture’ was based on. Deprivation. But Alicia was willing to take this a step further. Not only was she going to deny Raquel the anger she craved so much; she was going to give her the exact opposite. The few seconds with no reply were evidently already taking a toll on Raquel and her patience; how would she react if Alicia gave her what she thought she didn’t deserve? No response seemed to be proving to be more than frustrating for Raquel, so what would drive her mad? Softness.

Raquel wanted fists; Alicia would give her loving caresses. Raquel wanted screams; Alicia would give her honeyed whispers. Raquel wanted to be hurt; Alicia would drive her insane.

It was the first step of Alicia’s revenge; for now, at least, it would have to do.

It would suffice until the police went away and she could skin Raquel alive in peace. In the end, it killed two birds with one stone; creating an utterly unconventional scenario and making Raquel suffer. If not from the softness itself, then from the abrupt turn of the situation and seeing how the control was painfully slipping through her fingers. As if she wasn’t lost enough, Alicia intended to confuse her even more; to make her feel abandon when she thought she’d have absolute control. For those exact reasons, Alicia was more than willing to push their game of power into very dangerous territory.

Alicia smirked for a second; beyond what was going on and her current rage and anger she felt towards Raquel, she always wondered what it would feel to have Raquel surrender to her in this way. Knowing how much Alicia enjoyed their fights for power, she always wondered if it would be equally satisfying to have Raquel at her mercy in this way too. Raquel was always answering back, arguing, shouting; Alicia was always intrigued what it would be like to feel those very lip’s tremble beneath hers. Alicia always got what she wanted; why not this as well? Especially if she could be equally cruel with it at the same time. Last time Raquel fell to pieces under the soft touches of Alicia’s fingertips; why wouldn’t she now?

Alicia sighed; she ignored the voice in the back of her head reminding her how she also fell seeing Raquel break down. She knew, or hoped even, this time would be different; she didn’t have quite the same enthusiasm to see Raquel dead as she had now.

Alicia finally lifted her head up and locked eyes with Raquel, who was still deeply confused. Alicia’s eyes glistened with devilish intent. She was marveling at the amount of power she had over Raquel, now that she found a perfectly evil way of using it against her. She slowly let go of Raquel’s wrists; possessiveness mixed with dominance filled her whiskey eyes. Alicia wanted Raquel to know she belonged to her as much as Raquel decided Alicia’s life was in her hands. If they were on their way down to the bottom, they would be equal in their downfall.

Alicia couldn’t help but think that perhaps she was starting to lose herself in all of this too. Perhaps their game of power was becoming too much of an addiction which both of them seemed to be more than willing to take to new levels. Alicia ignored that thought; she had a more important task at hand a not a lot of time.

Raquel raised her eyebrows in question to Alicia’s silence. She wasn’t expecting the woman to react like this; hearing her laugh was the last thing she expected. For a second, she thought Alicia didn’t believe her, but she remembered seeing rage in Alicia’s eyes she had never seen before. Raquel had no clue how anything was going to work out; all she could hope for was that Alicia would put her out of her misery sooner rather than later.

Raquel observed Alicia, unsure of the enigmatic way she looked at her, smirking.

Now she almost shivered as she felt Alicia bring her hands up to the sides of her face. She delicately cupped Raquel’s cheeks and slowly leaned over. Alicia’s lips gently pressed to the corner of her mouth. Raquel froze. What the fuck was this woman doing now? It was nothing but a brush of the lips; she moved away, her eyes filled with an emotion Raquel couldn’t put her finger on. Alicia let go of her face and once again found Raquel’s hands, this time guiding them to her hips.

“Hold me…” Alicia’s voice was barely audible, a lot higher, sweeter than Raquel ever heard it, but for some reason it made eyelids flutter shut. Honey, it was like honey.

Raquel’s hands wrapped around Alicia’s hips, gently, in almost confusion. She had no idea what was happening but it shouldn’t be this. Alicia once again brought her hands up to Raquel’s face, this time brushing her lips against her other cheek, pressing her forehead to Raquel’s and repeating the breathy whisper, hot against Raquel’s skin. This time Raquel complied, digging her nail’s into Alicia’s flesh; to provoke. She felt Alicia’s hot breath against her cheek as she let out a chuckle. She placed another kiss on the woman’s cheek ever so slightly closer to her lips yet not quiet. Raquel, against her own will, felt herself gently twist her head, seeking the other woman’s lips. She thought she felt Alicia smirk as she kissed the side of her mouth, not yet daring to press their lips together. Raquel let out a shattered breath as she felt Alicia’s hands gently trail down her body, feather light, almost short of a touch.

Not that Raquel wanted this in the first place, but it was intoxicating. She wanted Alicia to claw at her, bite, hell, she was even expecting her to kill her; not this. She was melting beneath Alicia’s hands. A few minutes ago, she couldn’t feel anything, now she simply felt too much. Yet not enough.

She was about to open her eyes as she finally felt Alicia press her lips to hers. It was a simple touch yet it made Raquel’s heart stop. Before Raquel could comprehend what happened she felt Alicia’s lips press against hers more firmly, and in a second, their warmth was gone again. Raquel involuntarily parted her lips as she felt Alicia’s fingertips brush her cheeks as she leaned in ever so slightly, drawing a shattered breath from Raquel denying her the much-craved contact. Raquel felt Alicia trail her hand down her neck and gently pressing against her chest, her other hand resting just above her shoulder for balance. Alicia tilted her head leaning down extremely slowly letting their breaths mingle. Raquel started wondering if she might actually be imagining this until she finally felt Alicia’s lip part hers ever so slightly to finally join them together to deepen the kiss. It was slow. Shatteringly slow. Alicia tasted of tobacco and bubble gum, the sweetness mixing with the distinctly sharp bitterness. It was intoxicating, yet at the same time a very real reminder that it was Alicia, who was gently moving her lips against hers.

But She didn’t want gentle. She wanted angry, hot, hard. She wanted red scratch marks down her back, she wanted the tendons of her neck straining against vicious pressure of a hand tightening its grip around it. Everything had disappeared and Raquel was consumed with an overpowering desire for more. She no longer cared who it was or what they were doing; it wasn’t enough.

She felt Alicia rather than deepening the kiss slowly starting to move away. Far too soon; the deepened kiss lasted a few brief seconds. Raquel followed Alicia in one last desperate attempt not to break contact between their mouths. Alicia simply closed her lips around Raquel’s top lip, gently sucking, before abruptly moving away.

Raquel’s eyes darted open, trying to glare at Alicia. She almost succeeded had it not been for the whimper which involuntarily left her lips a moment after she felt Alicia deny her more. Was she really that desperate and starved of contact to fucking whimper after a few seconds of not even fully making out with Alicia Sierra in a fucking ditch? Well, apparently, she was. Alicia wasn’t expecting her to be either, as the shattered exhale the woman let out, however subtly, didn’t escape Raquel. Alicia was smirking, her face still close, despite the distance she attempted to put between them. Her eyes darker, dilated; filled with emotions from rage, desire, to something uncharacteristically soft. Raquel was about to join their lips together again, unable to deny herself anything at this point, until the hand she felt unzipping her jeans snapped her right back into reality. Just as Alicia’s cold finger made contact with her lower abdomen, she grabbed her wrist, stopping her from reaching down lower.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Raquel cursed herself as the sentence came out as more of a hoarse whisper rather than an angry scream.

“I thought you’d never ask, mi cielo,” Alicia winked, “you seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

“Firstly, cut the ‘mi cielo’ shit Alicia…” Raquel rolled her eyes; god this was not the time.

“It was your ingenious idea to make me think of something,” Alicia moved away a little bit.

“And your idea of saving us is shoving your hand down my pants?” Raquel raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

“Precisely,” Alicia smirked at her.

“Wanted some practice before they lock you up in prison?” Raquel was growing angry, “Your idea of revenge is fucking me?”

Alicia laughed and Raquel could feel her skin burning with rage. Raquel thought Alicia would do many things to her when she told her she framed her. She really wasn’t expecting her to kiss her softly, however fucking good it was; she cursed herself but couldn’t deny it. She hoped it was once again their game of power or part of some complex plan, but at this point she wouldn’t even put it past Alicia to be turned on by ‘danger’; she prayed it wasn’t the case. How did this woman make her regret everything she had done so quickly?

“No, mi cielo,” Alicia rolled her eyes, “we need to make them believe we have some other reason to dig this hole; if we put on a believable enough performance of being totally into sex in ditches, they’ll leave us in no time.”

“No…” Raquel whispered figuring out what that implied, “no, no, no, no… who the fuck does that? You can’t be serious?”

“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t get the fuck out if you ever came across such a scenario?” Alicia slowly leaned back down, “well, if you’ve got a better plan, I’m all ears.”

“No,” Raquel was shaking her head as she felt Alicia’s lips brush against her neck, “no, no one will believe this.”

“Oh come on, mi cielo,” Alicia whispered sweetly as she pressed a wet kiss to Raquel’s neck, “don’t tell me you’re scared?”

Oh Alicia knew how to press her buttons; denying was, ironically, the worst option. She would look as a coward, or worse, make Alicia think it had some sort of effect on her. Which of course it didn’t. It was nothing, simply a means to distract the police. Saying no would have worse implications than letting Alicia shove her hand wherever she wanted. Raquel wasn’t one to back down from a challenge, especially since she couldn’t even deny it was that bad of an idea. Well, their only idea. Raquel was in no state to think of anything else.

“No,” Raquel rolled her eyes, “of course you don’t need to shove your hand any further down there to make it believable”

“Well,” Alicia moved to whisper into her ear, “you’re going to have to pull your weight and make some noises at least.”

“Me?” Raquel sighed wondering if this could get anymore ridiculous, “why me and not you?”

“You, because this is my plan,” Alicia sounded annoyed, “so unless you can think of something better, you’re the one who is going to be moaning my name in ecstasy, happy?”

Alicia turned her head to face Raquel, her hand resting on Raquel’s shoulder. Oh Alicia liked having power. And Raquel realised she had given her far too much of it, resulting in her simply taking it to another extreme. Surely, given the circumstances, it should be Raquel who ought to be in full power? But no, Alicia Sierra always has her way out of everything. Raquel rolled her eyes, before suddenly realising that Alicia was still playing their game; with no mercy. Raquel felt bad for what she had done, but now, slowly her pity for Alicia was going. If she allowed her, she would step all over her. And in these circumstances, playing by these rules, Raquel wasn’t going to have any of it. With the change of plan, Raquel decided it was necessary to change the share of power, before things got too out of hand. She needed to return to the status quo.

Raquel smiled devilishly before giving her best go at the fakest and most forced moan Alicia had ever heard. Alicia looked down at her and raised an eyebrow; mixture of fed up and annoyed. The plan consisted on saving both of them, and if Alicia was going to have her play along, she would have to ask nicely. For once in her life, well, second time not counting the incident from a few moments ago when she was originally yanked into the ditch, Raquel wasn’t going to be the responsible one. She waited a second before continuing with a chorus of awful moans and whines. Alicia glared at her, but promptly realised she wasn’t going to achieve anything. She covered Raquel’s mouth with her hand to at least muffle the sounds.

“Mi cielo,” Alicia hissed through her teeth, her breath hot against Raquel’s face, “I hope you’ve never faked an orgasm in your life, because this, is not a way forward.”

Raquel giggled; honest to god giggled, and Alicia moved her hand; one now resting on the ground next to her face, the other, still between them.

“Seriously Raquel,” despite the anger in her voice, Alicia’s eyes sparkled with amusement, “I’ve heard and seen you do better.”

The tension in the air caught them both off guard; it wasn’t the first time Alicia had made a stupid comment about Raquel’s sex tape, but there was something about it which made Raquel swallow, hard. Alicia was taken as much aback by Raquel’s reaction as Raquel was herself. The air between them was hot; both of their face mere centimetres apart. Raquel felt as if she was suffocating; she had no idea what was happening – the comment simply brought involuntary images into her mind and before she could do anything, the reaction painted itself on her face, not escaping Alicia. She regained her composure and rolled her eyes, but Alicia’s expression remained unchanged, and equally unreadable.

“Fine. But your hand stays there, Alicia” Raquel finally broke the silence, hoping to clear the tension and reminding them of the task at hand, “no touching.”

“What a shame, me cielo,” Alicia seemed to have the exact opposite intention; instead of clearing the air between them, she simply made it worse; her voice a sweet whisper as she pressed a kiss to Raquel’s neck, “I thought you might have enjoyed it.”

Raquel huffed with annoyance praying that Alicia would finally shut up. It wasn’t a bad plan. People had many weird hobbies which easily scared people away. Even the not that extreme sexual kinks or fantasies made people uncomfortable. The last thing anyone wants to deal with two in the morning is some armature what? Grave fanatics? Beginner necrophiles? How did they manage to get here? There was one thing Raquel was sure about; no matter the damage or complaints, if Raquel ever came across such a scenario, she would ignore it for the greater good. It could work.

Relief flooded Raquel as it really seemed Alicia had nothing else to say; after the tension of their last exchange, Raquel couldn’t be more grateful. She simply couldn’t explain what happened to her; she couldn’t deal with the whiskey eyes boring into her any longer. Her relief was short lived as she felt Alicia’s lips once more press to her neck, this time gently sucking. All for her complaining about fake moaning seemed all the more ironic as with a little more of this it really wouldn’t be necessary. She felt Alicia’s hand gently grab the side of her neck, fingers curling around the back of her neck and her thumb drawing circles around her pulse point.

It was too much; Raquel needed to get some power back before she was completely lost under Alicia’s touch. Raquel hated herself as she suppressed a moan when she felt Alicia’s cold fingers play with the hem of her underwear. Surprisingly, Alicia managed to move her hand ever so slightly lower, disregarding Raquel’s demands or the iron grip on her wrist. It was their game of power and Alicia, as with everything in life, didn’t seem to have any limits; she seemed to be more than willing to see how far she could push the line. Raquel wasn’t surprised, in her position, she was limited in the ways she could take her anger out; if the littlest she could do was provoke Raquel, she would do it. Take it to the extreme, in fact. Raquel didn’t like the fact she found this very uncomfortable. Uncomfortable for the wrong reason; Raquel could feel her eyes involuntarily flutter shut. With every wet kiss she felt Alicia press to her neck she felt her skin burning. She wasn’t very far from completely losing self-control; she knew she had to do something before the last bit of power slipped through her fingers.

Following that track of thought, Raquel let go of Alicia’s hip with one hand, bringing it up to tangle it in Alicia’s hair. Raquel formed her hand into a fist and pulled Alicia up harshly to look her in the eye; a warning. Raquel smiled in satisfaction as she heard the Alicia’s breath hitch. Raquel decided that even if this would most likely not do much, she needed to at least fight for some control, since the softness was killing her. Alicia smirked as Raquel’s hand pulled her back up just as her lips were about to make contact with the side of her neck. Alicia was about to roll her eyes when with equal harshness Raquel guided her ever so slightly higher. Despite the gasp of surprise, Alicia complied, running her lips along Raquel’s jawline. If they were going to play this game, Raquel would not shy away, especially if Alicia wasn’t playing fair. Raquel’s eyelids fluttered shut and her grip on Alicia’s hair got impossibly tighter as she felt her gently bit her earlobe. Involuntarily all she could imagine was Alicia’s hand reaching down a little further. As if Alicia could read her mind, she felt her move closer to her ear to whisper something.

“Tell me, mi cielo, do you not want me to touch you because you’re afraid I’ll turn you on,” her voice was sweet yet equally rough, “or are you afraid I’ll feel how turned on you are already…”

This time Raquel didn’t manage to suppress the littlest of moans which escaped her lips. Just as Raquel thought she had managed to gain some power, Alicia retaliated in seconds, having absolutely no mercy. Alicia made eye contact with Raquel, her eyes sparking with devilish amusement, yet at the same time, a little bit darker. A little less under control. She was testing the waters; clearly, she wasn’t expecting Raquel react quiet like that either. Or perhaps she was hoping she wouldn’t. Or would. It was all about the power, wasn’t it? At this point it seemed neither could tell if it was good or bad; or if they liked it. Perhaps even, how much they liked it.

Raquel got herself back together and raised her eyebrows, before her lips formed into a smirk. She was far from amused by Alicia’s attempts to mess with her. It really wasn’t the time. Not like there ever was a time. Alicia simply smiled devilishly and winked at her; Raquel’s reaction gave her the exact answer. And to think Raquel feared Alicia might have killed her; she now realised it was most definitely the better option. Oh Alicia would never let her forget this; as if the situation couldn’t get any worse.

Both of the women looked at each other as they heard the car engine turn off; Alicia bit her lip and looked at Raquel in deep thought. It was now or never and it seemed that both of them had settled on the rather inconvenient plan; there was one more little detail missing. Something to make their performance ever so slightly more believable; Alicia wrapped her hand around Raquel’s wrist which was still holding her hair, and gently tugged at it. Raquel was far from amused yet let got and let Alicia guide her hand back to her hip. Alicia pressed their foreheads together, her breath hot against Raquel’s lips, all of a sudden no longer that under control.

“Undress me,” Raquel was taken aback as to how weak and gentle Alicia’s voice sounded, still laced with its honey like sweetness; she wondered if it was part of the act. Something made her believe that it might not be.

Raquel reluctantly let go of Alicia’s wrist which she still held in an iron grip between them to prevent Alicia getting any more ideas. She would put nothing past Alicia and how far she would take things to utterly humiliate Raquel; especially since they were going to have an audience very soon. In a private setting, Raquel, against her own will, wasn’t sure she’d be equally reluctant to let go of Alicia’s wrist. Purely to see how far Alicia would dare to go; how far Raquel could provoke her. Nothing more.

For now, Raquel allowed herself to revel in the fantasy that Alicia’s voice was authentically weak from touching her. That way, it seemed she still managed to retain some power, despite the multiple times she made it far too obvious she was literally melting under Alicia’s touch. She knew well enough that those touches and the soft whispers were meant to mean nothing; it was to something along the lines of a form of manipulation. One apparently neither had fully under control. The fact that Alicia seemed to be failing as badly, well, nearly as badly, as Raquel was at this game gave Raquel confidence.

Raquel was angry, tired, frustrated; not to mention the effect of the alcohol mixed with the painkillers still hadn’t fully worn off. Yet for some reason she couldn’t let go; there was something stopping herself from being able to surrender to Alicia, even if she knew it was originally her idea to give her that power. Raquel changed her mind. It was meant to be a peace offer and Alicia chose to purposefully not accept it as such. Now with their foreheads still pressed together and Alicia grinning at her, Raquel completely forgot that she ought to pity or be nice to Alicia for what she had done. If Raquel felt this desperate, she decided Alicia must too.

Alicia pressed a gentle kiss to Raquel’s cheek before sitting up, finally putting a sensible distance between them. Raquel, decided if Alicia wasn’t going to give her anger, she would do it herself. Her nails dug into Alicia’s back, as she slowly dragged her vest up and over her head. Alicia’s delicate skin hot beneath her hands; her muscles tensing as she dug her nails in impossibly harder, almost drawing blood. Angry red trials Raquel hoped would stay with Alicia for some time. Another way of leaving her marks on Alicia; it was starting to get worryingly addictive. Raquel smirked as she saw Alicia’s eye’s involuntarily flutter shut, a sigh escaping her lips, before she glared down at Raquel. She smiled mockingly, raising her eyebrow. A challenge. Raquel wanted war; she would have it.

Raquel saw a spark of amusement in Alicia’s eyes as they heard the car door slam shut. Raquel realised she had made a very big mistake; Alicia was going to make her regret this. Why and when did she think it was a good idea to challenge Alicia knowing far too well, she was, literally, in the worst position to do so? It was the last coherent thought which went through her head, before she felt Alicia crush their lips together.

Rafael locked the car door and glanced over at Santiago who was adjusting his jacket. He was the new recruit; well, the newer recruit. He had just graduated the police academy and Rafa had been working there for just about a year.

Rafa wasn’t too impressed about having a night shift; an unplanned night shift. He had to leave his cousins birthday party earlier because Mateo couldn’t help but eat the sandwich which was lying in the fridge for over three months, because he was ‘that hungry’. It ended as everyone expected. So, therefore, someone needed to cover for him. As one of the youngest officers, it landed on Rafa. He had a strong coffee and made his way to the station; if the evening couldn’t have gotten worse, the one time in forever something was going on during a night shift, he wasn’t sure he was even legally allowed to drive. But then again, no one really cared.

Santiago wasn’t too happy that he had yet another night shift either. It seemed that there wasn’t a week in which he didn’t have the worst shifts possible; he sighed as he looked at Rafa who locked the car door. The last thing he was in the mood to do was look for chicken terrorisers. On the other hand, he was grateful, as he first misheard Rafa when they got into the car; he thought chicken terrorists didn’t sound quiet right.

They set off with the hope they wouldn’t be able to track anyone down; the only information the person was able to provide was that the ‘chicken terrorisers’ were in a medium sized car, “silver, or perhaps black”- so, basically nothing. By chance they saw headlights on in the middle of the woods and decided it must be the culprit they were looking for. They parked about 100 meters – give or take – from the car, and got out.

They were expecting a lot of things from the ‘chicken terrorisers’; a bunch of drunk kids. A weird old man, perhaps a jealous neighbour. They most certainly weren’t expecting to find the car parked a few meters away from a grave like shaped ditch. As if things couldn’t get even worse, they most certainly weren’t expecting to find two women making out in that very ditch. Well, by the sound of things, probably more than just making out. Santiago gave Rafa a questioning look; he seemed to be in equally deep shock. As the more experienced officer, Rafa cleared his throat. Nothing. Rafa coughed. Still nothing.

“Excuse me,” Rafa finally exclaimed, keeping a safe distance from the ditch.

Alicia moved to sit up; bedroom eyes, her hair a mess, her skin glistening with sweat from earlier. The straps of her hot pink lace bra off her shoulders. Both of the officers seemed to have their eyes glued on her; well, it was a sight enough to distract anyone. Alicia was smiling sweetly as if she was born to play the part. Raquel wanted to roll her eyes; she couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

“Hello officers,” Alicia winked, “how is your evening?”

Santiago glanced at Rafa who was still staring at Alicia as if he was in a trance. Santiago had no idea what to do; he realised the police academy failed to cover a few things here and there. He decided to simply let Rafa deal with this, but from what it looked like, he didn’t seem so sure as to what to do either.

“Let me explain all of this,” Alicia’s voice was sickly sweet it made Raquel groan internally “this is my girlfriend, Lola, and she has very particular fantasies; she’s always wanted to try necrophilia.”

If looks could kill Alicia might as well have dug this hole for herself. Raquel would make her pay for this; all of a sudden, the pity she had for Alicia and the situation she got her into disappeared. It was war. Raquel realised she must’ve hit a nerve when she dug her nails into Alicia’s back. Alicia really meant war; she was going to push the bar to the next level. Raquel glanced Alicia; she wondered if she could she reach up high enough to strangle her.

“You see, I’m not,” Alicia looked down at Raquel giving her the sweetest of smiles, “but I love her and we managed to find a compromise so we dug a hole to not desecrate a graveyard.”

Having heard that sentence Raquel for the first time started seriously regretting her actions. Had she not killed Alberto she would’ve never heard those cursed words come out of Alicia’s mouth. That mouth which felt so good against hers – fuck! No. The poor officers seemed to be already regretting going to work today and Raquel could feel them on a spiritual level.

“Okay, that’s…” Rafa attempted to say something, “not, exactly what…”

“See, officer,” Alicia continued, ignoring him, “we’re going to finish and dig the hole back up, it’s just Lola was so horny and desperate to do this and I just can’t deny her anything…”

Raquel thought she was going to die of embarrassment; they had very little left to be six feet under. Horny. Out of all fucking words of course Alicia had to use that one. The absolute cringe. The poor officers; it was one thing finding someone in an uncomfortable situation in a fucking ditch, but it must be something else when they seem to be more than happy to overshare. Raquel squeezed her eyes shut; this couldn’t be happening. She was relived when Alicia thought of something, despite how unconventional it was; she thought it would go fairly smoothly from there. Once again Raquel underestimated Alicia’s ability to make Raquel regret she was born.

Not to mention it was simply embarrassing that she had to play along with it for her own sake. She had no choice. Worse still, Alicia was apparently in no mood to back down from the challenge Raquel stupidly threw at her earlier. The moment Raquel shut her eyes, she felt Alicia’s hand starting tracing circles on her lower abdomen. As if the comments weren’t enough; does this woman ever give up? Raquel shot Alicia a murderous look; another warning. It was driving her crazy; she wasn’t sure what more, Alicia messing with her or the feather light touches. Or perhaps it was simply the fact she couldn’t do anything about it without ruining their performance and causing the officers to suspect something. Alicia smiled at her sweetly; she knew it was driving her mad. God how Raquel wanted to kill her. The whole situation was infuriating and absurd.

Santiago still hadn’t said anything, but he looked at the other woman, who seemed to be looking awfully uncomfortable. They had indeed disturbed an intimate moment, but it seemed that if looks could kill, her girlfriend would most certainly be dead. Before thinking about it and even glancing at Rafa who was still trying to form a coherent sentence, words left his mouth before he could stop them.

“Why is your girlfriend not answering?” Santiago asked curiously, “is everything okay?”

“You see she is playing the part of the corpse,” Raquel couldn’t believe how serious Alicia made her voice sound, “and we’re in the middle of something. We were hoping to get this little chat of ours over and done with as soon as possible not to kill the last bit of the mood.”

It took all of Raquel’s willpower not to gasp in disbelief at the absolute bullshit which left Alicia’s mouth; she was certain that was nowhere near how necrophilia or whatever they claimed to be doing worked, not to mention how utterly unbelievable and fucked up it sounded. The two poor officers seemed to be very much hooked onto Alicia’s tone; even if their knowledge on the subject was greater than Alicia’s, which it probably was, they weren’t about to question it.

Alicia was really playing with fire to see if how far she could take things before Raquel snapped. Raquel knew it was a means to provoke her but rage boiled through her veins seeing how much fun she was having. Alicia knew it, and didn’t care; apparently Raquel wasn’t the only reckless one out of the two. The more amused Alicia was the angrier Raquel got; this wasn’t meant to be funny. Raquel did provoke Alicia; she put her in this situation. Yet she wasn’t expecting them to push it this far; the whole ‘we’ve got a corpse in the boot’ issue disregarded as Alicia decided she was in the mood for exploring how much further they could take this and how much more ridiculous it could get. The clueless policemen seemed to only be encouraging Alicia; the utter bullshit which left her mouth wasn’t questioned in the slightest. This only meant she felt determined to take it further with each question. Alicia was in her element.

Apparently, Alicia’s recklessness was equally encouraging to Raquel as the obliviousness of the police officers had been to Alicia. Raquel locked eyes with Alicia and smirked at her; that was it. Alicia was waiting to see if Raquel would do anything or continue letting Alicia do as she please. Raquel bit her lip; there wasn’t exactly much she could do. One of her hands was still around Alicia’s hip, whereas the other one returned to holding Alicia’s wrist on the hand in between them as soon as she had removed Alicia’s vest. Last time digging her nails into Alicia’s back seemed to prove effective, so Raquel decided to go with something along those lines. It was nothing, really, but enough to make it clear to Alicia she was by no means backing down, despite being in the currently losing position. It was the littlest and best Raquel could do, but she couldn’t leave it without doing anything – she wouldn’t give Alicia that satisfaction.

Raquel locked eyes with Alicia, and winked at her, before digging her nails into Alicia’s wrist, almost drawing blood. Raquel smiled in satisfaction as Alicia bit her lip, barely managing to suppress a hiss.

Within a second, Raquel regretted the decision. Alicia smiled at her devilishly; it seemed Alicia was waiting for just that. It was a war. A cold war, more like; Alicia was simply waiting for Raquel to be provoked enough to fire the shot so Alicia could retaliate. The officer attempting but failing to form a sentence was forgotten as Raquel watched Alicia intensely; all that mattered was their game, well, war now, apparently.

A spark of amusement in Alicia’s eye was the only warning Raquel got as Alicia suddenly yanked the hand between the down. Two fingers roughly trailing over her underwear; very intentionally nothing but the opposite of the painfully soft touches. It all happened far too quickly for Raquel to suppress a moan. Which was a lot louder than she apparently thought, causing the stuttering officer to suddenly stop; something between horror and disbelief filled his eyes. Raquel cursed herself. She was once again wrong; it could get worse. Raquel slowly opened her eyes, with the intention of glaring at Alicia, who apparently had no intention of moving her hand back up. It was ridiculous; Raquel couldn’t even have a go at her or yank her hand back up because of their little audience. Oh Alicia knew how to play this far too well. Raquel decided Alicia would be buried in this very ditch after everything was over. Especially when Alicia met her eyes, grinning so hard, probably trying to stop herself from laughter. However, as Raquel shot her another death glace, she was all of a sudden distracted when she saw that Alicia’s eyes had turned ever so slightly darker with desire. Perhaps Raquel wasn’t the only one affected by this.

“Are you two continuing?” the Santiago’s tone was a mixture of fear and disbelief.

“You see officer,” Raquel spoke before Alicia could say anything, her voice purposefully laboured, “it’s not exactly easy to stop when someone is fist deep into you.”

Raquel smiled inside as she heard Alicia choke to stop herself from laughing. A point to Raquel. One of the officers also gasped; the other made a sound somewhere between a choke and a squeal. Now, that was it. It was obvious they were feeling awkward enough as it was, this seemed like too much. Both of them looked down; mumbling something under their breaths. Now she was really hoping they’d be left in peace, because if not… Alberto really was unlucky. His death would totally be forgotten given the circumstances his body was found in. No one would remember Raquel murdered him; all anyone would ever talk of would be the fact according to the reports from the crime scene Alicia Sierra finger fucked Raquel as they were talking to the police. Now how did this situation manage to get here?

“So, officer,” Raquel continued seeing neither managed to put together a sentence, “for the sake of everyone here present, perhaps you ought to say you never found us.”

The two men looked at each other weighing out their options, whispering something neither of the two women could hear. Alicia was asking to be strangled. Skinned alive. Raquel knew Alicia was far too cruel to do Raquel the favour of moving her hand back where it was, but at least hoped it would end there. But no, Alicia wasn’t done with driving Raquel to her grave just yet; she started slowly drawing circles with her fingers over the thin fabric of her underwear. Not really touching. Raquel could taste the metallic taste in her mouth from biting her tongue to not give Alicia the satisfaction of how the littlest of touches was driving her mad. Not that it was much use; she most definitely could feel it herself.

Alicia was smirking at her knowingly; now she had the total satisfaction that she achieved exactly what she wanted with those touches and kisses. Raquel wanted to kill Alicia. That was for sure. The officers were forgotten; Raquel glared at Alicia. She might have won a battle, but they were fighting a war. Raquel couldn’t even deny she lost; she couldn’t really hide that fact from Alicia. Her eyes were sparkling with satisfaction; god how Raquel wanted to claw them out. She sighed and closed her eyes.

Raquel knew it was nothing but a game, play acting, a provocation but was far too tired to resist this anymore. She no longer cared. The moment she closed her eyes she realised she lost much earlier. She had lost the very moment she decided she wanted more, back when Alicia first pressed her lips to her. Perhaps it was the rests of the alcohol flowing through her bloodstream or the fact it felt so exquisite to feel anything again, Raquel felt her head fall backwards, finally surrendering herself to the touch. The whole situation forgotten, as Raquel instinctively rolled her hips against Alicia’s fingers, seeking more pressure from the feather light touch; shamelessly losing all the control Alicia was trying to take from her. Her hands digging into Alicia’s hips; no longer provoking, now begging. She looked up and expected Alicia’s eyes to be filled with satisfaction, amusement. She finally got what she wanted, didn’t she? Raquel pathetically, physically, admitting she was at her mercy. But when she finally locked eyes with Alicia, she didn’t see what she expected.

The whiskey eyes were filled with nothing but desire.

Seeing Raquel finally give in, apparently had a very different effect on Alicia. Even if initially Alicia was taken aback by Raquel letting go, she quickly regained composure. Raquel admitting defeat wasn’t going to make her give Raquel what she wanted either; although with ever roll of her hips Alicia was a step closer to giving her the pressure, she was denying her. Alicia knew she still had to deal with the policemen and couldn’t lose the subtlety of things they managed to maintain till now. Alicia cursed herself; it shouldn’t be so tempting. But god, she could feel how turned on Raquel was. That fucking woman; how she hated her. Alicia looked down with the intention of sending her a murderous look; to order her to get herself back together. Alicia knew made the mistake of looking down, when she saw Raquel with her eyes closed and her head tilted back displaying the curve of her neck with the marks Alicia had left on it earlier; her teeth digging into her bottom lip. Fuck. She shouldn’t have looked down.

She took a deep breath before she looked back up at the police officers who announced the verdict that they would decide to forget about the situation but expected them to dig the ditch up. Alicia smiled at them sweetly; it worked.

Now as if the situation from a few moments ago was absurd; how the fuck did they manage to get from there to this? They could hear the footsteps of the policemen walking away. Instead of feeling relief that they managed to get away with not having the car searched, in the moment Raquel felt something completely different. She opened her eyes and locked them with Alicia’s. What were they doing? She felt Alicia minimally gravitate towards her. This was getting very dangerous.

“Unfortunately, ladies, one of you is going to have to assist us,” the officer said, “there seems to be a lot of blood on the seat and it looks like we’re gonna have to search the car.”

The voice of the police officer snapped them both back to reality. Suddenly the desire was replaced with rage. Before Raquel realised what was happening Alicia’s hands grabbed onto her shirt, pulling her ever so slightly off the ground. The tension in the air was heavy; both of the women panting. Anger and fear replaced whatever they shared between them a second ago. The moment was gone. A game, after all, wasn’t it?

“It’s all in your hands Murillo,” she whispered in her ear, harsh, nothing like before, “how far are you willing to go?”

Alicia shoved Raquel to the ground before climbing out of the ditch, quickly putting her vest back on. She couldn’t believe she went that far, and more worryingly, how much further she wanted to go. She cursed herself; she completely forgot what Raquel had done and why they were here in the first place. She should’ve never pushed their little quarrel for power into that territory. She simply didn’t expect Raquel would go along with it to that extent. Raquel never made anything of her provocations; she thought Raquel would simply shove her off or something like that. She was meant to annoy her but playing along with it was too addictive. God, Alicia never lost control like that. She had to get herself together. Especially if they were actually going to steal the money. That would require concentration and no distractions. And it was very dangerous, how Raquel seemed to be becoming a very good distraction. Far too good for her own sake.

Alicia couldn’t and wouldn’t let that happen again.

Alicia walked over to the car, and opened the door for the officers, explaining how she had cut herself earlier on. The officers didn’t seem convinced, especially with the stench of blood and chemicals; they finally reached the back of the car. Rafa excused himself just as they were about to open the boot, saying he was going to grab a new pen from the car as his stopped working. Alicia rolled her eyes and made eye contact with Santiago, who was standing beside her; somewhere between embarrassed and terrified. Alicia sighed; she had no idea if Raquel managed to scramble out of the ditch or what on earth she was intending to do. She opened the boot. The embarrassment rapidly changed to fear as the young officer saw a black bag in the boot. He reached for it.

“Are you sure you want to open in?” Alicia leaned against the car as she lit herself a cigarette from a pack, she managed to find in the glove compartment, “you could pretend you didn’t see anything.”

“W-why would I do that?” Santiago looked up at Alicia, her eyes cold; deadly.

“To not share his fate,” Alicia said, breathing out a puff of smoke, looking him in the eyes.

All colour left Santiago’s face. Now, this wasn’t the twist he was expecting, especially now, alone. He knew Rafa was probably somewhere between hung over and awfully tired. He was barely holding it together when they searched the back seats. Santiago was almost certain the excuse to get a pen was simply Rafa’s way of letting him know he should finish the search himself whilst Rafa dosed off in the back seats.

Pure panic took over. He felt as if he was suffocating; his breathing all of a sudden uneven. He looked at the woman in front of him; she was undeniably beautiful. He, now, also realised she was equally deadly.

What could he do? If he screamed, he’d be down in no time. Rafa wouldn’t make it to him. Even if the woman was offering to spare him, her tone was far too calm. She knew what she was doing. And he also realised he knew far too much; people like her don’t leave lose ends. His hands were shaking; where the fuck was Rafa? She was unarmed, wasn’t she? What if she wasn’t? His hand instinctual reached for his gun. A warning; he made eye contact with the women.

She smiled. She wasn’t scared. She chuckled and took a drag of the cigarette. She was enjoying herself. Maybe this was just some sort of sick joke? Maybe she was just trying to scare him? She was clearly playing with him; he had no idea if he was making the biggest mistake of his life of saving his life. He was going to arrest her. She looked defenceless; he knew from her eyes she was far from it.

He slowly pointed his gun at her; he wanted to prove that he wasn’t afraid of her. Or perhaps it was simply a move fuelled by the panic which wasn’t allowing him to think clearly. He ordered her to put her hands up in the air; she didn’t comply. She continued smoking, staring him right in the eye. It was a challenge. His hands were shaking. He was armed yet defenceless; the woman in front of him wasn’t going to go down, literally, without a fight.

“Venga, dispara…” Alicia winked at him; she was smiling.

She chuckled; that was it, she had no more ideas left. Adrenaline was pulsing through her veins; she couldn’t remember the last time she felt so alive. It was weirdly liberating to be on the other side again. She looked at the boy; she wondered if he would fire. She smirked; she was enjoying this far too much. She couldn’t resist gambling with her life despite knowing how reckless it was; she almost forgot what it was like to feel she had nothing to lose. Almost. She closed her eyes and felt the gentle breeze on her cheeks; she felt at peace. She realised she was above all of this.

Raquel just about managed to scramble out of the ditch. Alicia’s voice was echoing in her head; it was a good question, how far was she willing to go? From their little, slightly atypical interaction, Raquel’s plan on framing Alicia had fallen to pieces. No matter if there was no evidence; if they policemen testify exactly what happened, Raquel would most likely be assumed as Alicia’s accomplice. She could no longer guarantee that she wouldn’t go to jail, she honestly couldn’t even guarantee she’d be able to keep custody of her daughter. If Alicia was going to go to jail, she’d make sure her lawyer would drag Raquel down too.

Alicia’s question had been her answer, they both knew that. She was in. It was never a question of how far Alicia was willing to go; she had been there already. She cooperated. Alicia mirrored Raquel in the way she handed the power over the situation back to her. It was up to Raquel to decide if she was really going to go through with everything; to think of something or condemn them both. Raquel had trusted Alicia being almost certain she was in; Alicia was now trusting Raquel, hoping she’d be ready to take the risk. One which would require making decision, more often than not, far from just, for the greater good. This wasn’t going to be a walk in the park; Alicia had to make sure Raquel knew exactly that. Hence, she put everything into Raquel’s hands; if she wasn’t able to do this now, the plan would fall apart. The car being searched was either their end or another point of no return; it was up to Raquel to decide. She sighed and walked towards the car, silently.

Raquel glanced at the car. It looked like Alicia, as per fucking usual, being left alone for a second, managed to make things even more complicated. Raquel had no clue what exactly she had done, but apparently it was drastic enough for the young officer to be pointing a gun at her. His hands shaking. Alicia, as always, seemed to not have a single care in the world that she was being held at gun point. By a young and inexperienced officer who was clearly under a lot of stress. If there was one thing Raquel learnt from her career, it was that those types of officer were the most dangerous. Absolutely no control, full panic, and clouded judgment. And Alicia might as well have been prodding him with a stick as it seemed her sweetly humming with her eyes closed was having the same effect on the man. The woman really was on another level; apparently if someone wasn’t literally about to kill her, she hadn’t provoked them enough. Raquel rolled her eyes; this was going to a very complicated partnership.

Raquel picked up the shovel silently. She had crossed the line. She had killed her husband. She was not going to give up and lose her possibility of freedom because of something so stupid. She was willing to go there. She was willing to go all the way. Raquel knew she was going to do everything in her power to start a new life, even if it required unforgivable sacrifices. That decision she made the day when she came back home too early. She would carry the weight of her sins on her shoulders, she knew it. It wasn’t right. She knew that too. But she had already started, and there was no going back now. It was too late.

She thought one last time of perhaps stopping this madness. Allowing herself to be arrested. That’s what the Raquel she knew would’ve done. But the Raquel she knew, died when she pulled the trigger. This Raquel, for the sake of the greater good, for the sake of her daughter, couldn’t look back.

She glanced one last time at Alicia. She needed her. She needed her more than she dared to admit. Perhaps she picked her for yet another reason; she knew it was never a question of how far Alicia would go. She knew Alicia wouldn’t be the one to lecture her, to try to make her see some reason. She was going to drag her down with her. It was exactly what Raquel needed. The knowledge that even if she was going to do unforgivable things, she wasn’t alone. Alicia was now her only chance to be able to see her daughter; to start a new life, to escape. And for once in her life, she was going to be selfish. It was her life at stake.

She lifted the shovel and without the slightest of hesitation swung it, aiming for the officer’s head, knocking him out. The officer collapsed and both of the women made eye contact as soon as they saw the puddle of blood around his head. Raquel immediately dropped the shovel.

She looked at Alicia; there was her answer. That far. Alicia lifted her eyebrows at Raquel and took another drag of her cigarette.

“What now genius?” Alicia’s tone was between angry and bored; it also seemed to be a lot colder.

“We get rid of the witnesses,” Raquel’s tone was equally chilling; Alicia looked at her in disbelief, “I’m willing to go till the end, wherever that will take us; are you with me?”

Alicia didn’t have a chance to respond as she felt her head slam into the boot. She felt her vision go blurry as she stumbled to the ground. It took her a few seconds to realise what had happened. The other police officer had returned to find his friend in a puddle of his own blood and the shovel by Raquel’s feet. Apparently, he was one of those who hits first and then asks questions. On the other hand, Alicia wasn’t that surprised; the poor boy was probably beyond saving at this point, having the misfortune to smash his head on a rock. His friend clearly decided it was time to take justice into his own hands.

Alicia looked up, managing just about to sit up. She couldn’t hear anything; the impact of the hit seemed to be deafening, but she could only imagine the agony of the kicks which she saw Raquel receive to her stomach. Alicia sighed; how had the situation managed to turn again so quickly? What now? She cursed herself. She couldn’t leave Raquel like that. She could, perhaps chance saving her skin if she drove away, but she could barely stand up; what use was it anyhow?

As some of her senses were coming back, she could hear Raquel cursing; the cut had probably ripped open which was only adding to her agony. Was she with her? She went along with Raquel’s little plan because in the moment it was the best option, but was she really with her? Was she willing to go back to hell itself to get money? Was she really willing to help Raquel after what she had done? Was it wise?

As if things couldn’t get even worse, all of a sudden Alicia became aware of yet another problem they had. It turned out that the cigarette had made Alicia’s mind up for her. She really had no choice, and she had to act fast. Raquel ended up cleaning the car with god-knows what chemicals, which turned out to be highly flammable. Alicia must’ve dropped her cigarette into the boot when she was hit a few moments ago. Now, as if things couldn’t get more ridiculous, the boot of the car was in flames. Alicia rolled her eyes. Really? What a way to not attract attention to themselves.

Alicia glanced back at Raquel and the police officer. Something snapped in her when she saw him pointing his gun at her. She had no idea if it was to arrest her or shoot in ‘self-defence’; the state of his colleague was more than justifiable for it. She did want to see Raquel dead. She knew she would end up betraying her. But she would die at her hands and at her hands alone.

Alicia stumbled across to the body of the officer which Raquel knocked out with the shovel and grabbed the gun. She felt the cold metal in her hands and smiled. All these years thinking she was running away from this, escaping; perhaps it was exactly this which made her feel alive.

Alicia stood up, regained her balance, and slowly approached the officer. He turned his head and realised she was approaching but it was far too late. Alicia shot.

Raquel was curled up in a ball; the last thing she heard the man say was that he was going to kill her. Everything hurt. Everything hurt so fucking bad; truly, Raquel just wanted it to be over. She heard the shots break the silence of the night. She was surprised to not feel anything. Perhaps she was in so much pain she wasn’t physically capable of feeling more.

She slowly opened up her eyes to see the bright light. Burning fire. In front of her a dark silhouette, rising from amongst the burning flames. The devil. That was it; she was in hell.

Throughout history there have been many attempts to portray the devil. From Milton to Goethe, the devil has been a subject of fascination, of debate between good and evil. Goethe’s devil is the cause of Faust’s damnation. It is God who rescues Faust from the agonies of hell after he sells his soul to the devil, tempted by the need for more and fooled by the evil powers. Yet Bulgakov’s devil doesn’t seem all that bad; he is somewhat fair in his judgments. When Margarita sells her soul to him, unlike Faust, she isn’t damned. The devil keeps his word and finally grants her a wish, for her selflessness and help. As promised, despite the whole fiasco seeming like a betrayal, she does, in the end, get to spend the rest of eternity with her lover. The force of evil is what ultimately brings her peace.

As Raquel recovered, she realised she hadn’t yet left this world; the car was simply in flames… gosh, why was the car in flames? Raquel looked up; Alicia stood in front of her, holding her hand out.

“Come on, mi cielo,” she smiled gently, “we need to get the fuck out of here.”

She wondered if Alicia would be her damnation or her eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for readingggg lol all the people who made it here lmaooo
> 
> Once again thank you for all the wonderful comments and kudos - hopefully if nothing comes up the next chapter will be up a lot sooner... and will ft another lcdp character, in a very interesting role... ;D --- what is gonna go down next??
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it and that it wasn't too much??? idk also I hope it wasn't too oc especially the last bit with more drastic decisions made by Raquel; or basically her realising its too late to change anything idkkk I don't plan on sticking to the 'they're good good' type thing lcdp does; its gonna be a bit darker (well, as you've probs figured...)
> 
> love yallll <33333


	7. Vertigo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the wonderful comments and kudossss they make my dayyyysss - Thank you for everyone still here; I know its been a rather unpredictable ride lol from the first chapter yall probs didn't expect this 
> 
> Sorry for once again taking my time, - life, unfortunately.
> 
> This one is a bit shorter but worry not! It was meant to be part of a longer chapter but since I've corrected it I decided I might as well post it as it doesn't make the narration too jarring - the next part which I've nearly finished editing will be up in like idk - depending on life - in hopefully no longer than 3/4 days!
> 
> No warningssss wow what is this??? dw we'll soon have them back lol

Alicia Sierra couldn’t have been more grateful that Raquel’s plan was actually fairly coherent. Despite the rather unplanned situation with the police, everything seemed to be falling back into place. It seemed like a momentary relief.

The fire wasn’t as tragic as it might have originally seemed. Raquel picked a perfect location; one very far away from civilisation. The last house they drove past was at least 15 minutes away by car, not to mention that it was nearly 3am. Unless anyone was going for a night drive, they had more than enough time to drive away before anyone noticed. Alicia was hoping that by the time the fire was put out, nothing but ashes would remain at the crime scene. Ashes were awful to work with, as they didn’t contain DNA, meaning, it would take the police some time to get their heads around what had happened.

Originally the plan was to drive down to a nearby lake, but since the car was in flames, the police car was the next best option. Alicia never thought she’d be thankful for the under-funding of the Spanish police force, until she started the engine of the police car which was most certainly older than a decade. At least. It was more of a driving wreck than anything; not only had no one bothered to put a tracker on it, the police radio seemed to be there more for the sake of it, rather than to actually work. Meaning, no one knew the last location of the car, and it was almost certain there wasn’t enough signal for the police officers to report that they had come across the culprits. There was no doubt they would eventually start looking for the missing policemen and find the fire, but at least they could calmly get away, without the need of a crazy car chase.

It took more or less half an hour to drive to the lake, down some country roads and past at least two more forests, ever so slightly smaller than the one they were originally in. Raquel really did think through getting a safe distance away from the crime scene to sort their stuff out. It seemed almost peaceful; the lake was in the middle of a forest, surrounded by tall pine trees. A perfect place for a picnic or family camp. Alicia couldn’t help but think how ironic it all was, as she used the rest of her strength to get a black bag out from underneath a pile of rocks. However bad the situation was, Alicia was glad that out of all people in the world, it was Raquel who did this to her. The one thing which was certain with Raquel, was that she had everything planned out with the precision of a perfectionist. The bag had money, a phone, clothes, and some fucking red bull; it made Alicia laugh. Of course, Raquel would think of that. Not to mention the shampoo and soap. Already more than Alicia would’ve thought to bring for a week long holiday.

Before deciding to make full use of the shampoo and soap, Alicia had the time of her life driving the car into the lake. It was covered in their DNA, which wasn’t exactly ideal. In a lake, on a hot summer’s day, most of it should come off in a few hours; they had to hope they wouldn’t find the car at least till the afternoon. Depending on how they approached the case, Alicia prayed they’d first assume the car was crashed or abandoned somewhere, before deciding to search the lakes. According to Raquel it wasn’t the only lake around here, and considering they had driven fairly far out, there was hope they’d be gone before anyone even found a trace of where the car might be.

As Raquel made some phone calls, Alicia was enjoying her swim. The water refreshingly cold, and despite the sting from her newly acquired injuries, Alicia felt like she was in heaven. She was finally able to wash off the dirt and sweat and blood from her skin. Raquel seemed like such a mum packing soap along with some shampoo, it made Alicia roll her eyes. Yet she couldn’t complain; she really liked the ‘green apple’ smell of the shampoo. It was sweetly refreshing. It made her feel all warm inside. The longer she thought about it, the smell seemed familiar. All of a sudden Alicia frowned. It was what Raquel always smelled off.

Ah, yes, Raquel. Despite the fact they got a little carried away (the situation was, in the end, rather extreme), Alicia was still very much in the mood to murder Raquel. The control which almost slipped out of her hands was to be blamed on nothing else but the fact she couldn’t remember the last time she was asleep, coupled with the exhaustion from the digging. Not to mention that she found out that not only she had lost her life, she was expected to go back to hell itself. It was more than enough to drive someone to the extremes, or even insane. Raquel was still alive and breathing, which more than anything was simply the sole proof that Alicia hadn’t yet lost her mind. At the end of the day, revenge, is a dish best served cold. And it was exactly what Alicia was going to do.

Alicia observed Raquel from the water; her enigmatic smile hidden below the surface. It turned out Raquel was consistent with her choices. If she was going to drag Alicia into this, there would be no pity. Despite her anger, Raquel most definitely gained some respect for this. It made Alicia smile; she wasn’t expecting the little good girl she knew to play this game in such a ruthless manner. She remembered the times in the academy all of Raquel’s opinions and analysis of crimes and the manipulative nature of the people behind them. Raquel was a star negotiation, but out of all the people in the academy, Alicia always believed Raquel would be the least capable of playing on the other side. It was against everything she believed. Now, not only was Alicia aware that she was more than capable of it, she realised Raquel was perhaps even on her way to be the best one at it yet.

She watched Raquel still on the phone, as she swam a bit further out; she was intrigued. Her voice was calm. She might have seemed a little distressed but she was with it. More than with it, truly, keeping in mind how badly things didn’t go to plan. Alicia looked at her and couldn’t figure out when she changed. There wasn’t a single point Alicia could put her finger down on. Even after Alberto first hit her. Obviously, she had her moods, her better and worse days, but there was never a day in which Alicia saw her come in and noticed something had change. Worst still, she couldn’t even remember things slowly changing. She was in the best of moods after the whole broken rib incident; not only for the show, Alicia heard her humming and dancing at the photocopier late at night when she thought no one was around. That she would only do right before Christmas or when Paula had done well in school or something. That’s why it took Alicia such a long time to figure out something was seriously wrong with Alberto; even with all the ups and downs, Raquel had forever been constant. Perhaps there was something along the lines of a façade behind the ‘good little girl’; perhaps she had never really been her. It seemed, to Alicia, that perhaps Raquel would have been equally capable of doing the same thing had done now, years back. It was never a question of if she was or wasn’t capable of it; not from the way she was now, all calm and composed, well, apart from the physical pain. Alicia furrowed her eyebrows; was it really simply a matter of circumstance? Who was the Raquel she knew? Was she the girl who got annoyed at her for breaking all the rules of negotiation? Or was she the woman calmly talking on the phone arranging their escape from the police? Was she always just both? Always between the lines without Alicia’s knowledge of it? Worst still, Alicia had no idea what to think of it. There was that something about her; that Alicia always knew. She never thought she’d be pushed to find out, however, and now she simply didn’t know how to face it. Alicia dived under the surface. It didn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. The only worrying thing about the whole situation was that apparently Raquel was taking up far too much of her thoughts recently, finding more than one way to get under her skin. Alicia sighed as she swam towards the shore; they had to get going soon.

Alicia promptly got out and changed into some new clothes; a long sleeve black top and a mini-skirt. A fucking mini-skirt. As if there wasn’t anything more suitable for a fucking escape? Alicia rolled her eyes; she didn’t have the time or energy to be mad about it now. She wondered if Raquel knew she would have annoyed and angered her so much at this point, she also previously planned this as part of some sort of revenge. At this point, she most definitely wouldn’t put it past Raquel.

Raquel had just about managed to change into a black hoodie and some trackies, but it was more than obvious she was in pain. Blood had soaked through the bandage on her abdomen, meaning the wound most likely reopened, if it hadn’t been ripped further. Despite the rather worrying amount of pain killers Raquel took, it still looked like she was in agony.

They promptly started to make their way through the forest. Alicia was carrying the bag, despite Raquel being sceptical about it, she was barely managing to keep up with Alicia, who was purposefully walking at a slower pace. Alicia was fed up with the complaining; she was really trying her best not to stage yet another full-blown argument. The last thing they needed was for another person to have call the police about the noise. Raquel, however, clearly didn’t care. She was in hideous pain, somewhere between angry and humiliated after the whole ‘performance’; it really had been a fleeting moment in which they nearly lost themselves in, but now everything had returned to the hailed status quo, and Raquel was mad, both with Alicia and herself, that she had previously lost so much power and control of the situation. As Alicia could tell, she was not exactly in the mood to be responsible or cooperative, which, to be fair, meant that they were back in their usual territory. In way it was most certainly a relief. This time, however, Alicia wished, for the sake of their forced teamwork, Raquel would simply shut the fuck up. Alicia was even considering asking her how she was doing if she wasn’t trying to pick a fight at everything that Alicia said or did. They were both fairly exhausted, and Raquel not even attempting to keep the peace was growing infuriating.

Alicia sighed, realising she didn’t really have any other option if they ever wanted to get anywhere and finally make Raquel shut up. She stopped and waited for Raquel to catch up with her. She muttered something under her breath as she stopped beside Alicia, who, at that, decided she had enough. She didn’t know what annoyed her more; the slow pace or the fact that Raquel looked like a hurt puppy. Gosh she wondered if this is what it felt to deal with her when she was acting like a child. No wonder Raquel had given up with this whole responsibility thing; Alicia hated it already.

She walked up to Raquel and grabbed her arm, and draped it around her shoulder, for Raquel to use as support. Raquel, for once, didn’t seem to protest. The arrangement worked for a few minutes until Alicia saw Raquel start to struggle again, wincing at every step she made. It was infuriating. Alicia already had a headache and the one worse thing than hearing Raquel complain, was having to listen to her groaning from pain. It was an unpleasant reminder that they were both in a lot of pain and in a rather uncomfortable situation. Alicia needed quiet. She needed to think.

Once again, Alicia stopped, this time to catch a breath. She vaguely gestured for Raquel to move behind her, still keeping hold of her arm. Raquel lifted her eyebrows in question, and decided to do what Alicia said. After the third time, because, of course, it would make Alicia’s life too easy if she did it the first time. And Raquel was too busy acting as a child to allow something like that. As soon as Raquel was behind her, Alicia didn’t hesitate to lower herself down, grab Raquel by the legs, and lift her up. Raquel promptly understood Alicia was offering her a piggyback and crossed her arms over, snug against Alicia’s chest, pulling herself up closer. Alicia involuntarily closed her eyes as she felt Raquel instinctively nuzzle her head into the crook of her neck. Alicia cursed herself; that wasn’t meant to be her reaction.

Just under twenty minutes of the walk in, Alicia was starting to regret her decision. Not that Raquel was heavy, but the lack of sleep and all the digging were really taking a toll on Alicia. She was exhausted. Not to mention the steady warm breath on her neck, or the warmth of the body draped on her back, wasn’t exactly ideal. It was almost comforting, and most certainly wasn’t helping her concentrate on her task. She felt Raquel’s body relax as she drifted in and out of consciousness, mumbling something under her breath from time to time. Whereas before Alicia found Raquel’s bickering infuriating, she found herself, against her own will, smiling as to how alluring Raquel’s sleep talking was. Or maybe it was simply the first thing she did in the past few hours which didn’t make Alicia want to outright murder her. All of a sudden it seemed so soothing; it just made Alicia want to close her eyes. Fuck. Wasn’t she meant to kill this woman a few minutes ago?

Well, she was. But Alicia wasn’t stupid. Raquel’s plan turned out to be very ‘Alicia-proof’; Raquel had gone to impressive lengths to avoid Alicia finding an opportunity to spin the situation to her benefit. Wasting her energy on anger seemed pointless; she would most definitely make Raquel regret everything, but in order for that to happen, they had to reach safety. And if reaching safety required carrying Raquel across half of the Spanish countryside, Alicia would do it. Well, didn’t have any other choice. Leaving Raquel would be ideal, but of course she had planned everything out well enough that Alicia wouldn’t be able to do that. A fucking plan which seemed to even function in case of everything going to shit.

Alicia couldn’t have been more relieved when they finally reached the barn Raquel told her about. She explained that her grandparents had a house nearby where they would spend the summers. When they died, a few years back, the family decided to not sell the house. Amongst the many things in the will, Raquel received a car. A rather ancient one which she never bothered selling or even driving back up to Madrid. The car remained in the barn and would be used occasionally when the family met and extra transport was needed. Raquel made sure there was enough petrol a few days before, and also managed to hide the key. Alicia knew getting away in a car was by far their best option, especially if they didn’t have to steal one. In order to get to the car and actually start it, she needed Raquel. It was far from convenient, considering she had to avoid the temptation of murdering her companion, but it was most likely worth the sacrifice. Alicia could most certainly ditch Raquel and find a car of her own, but it seemed like the far riskier option. Especially with so little cars actually around; running over a few chickens caused more than enough problems, stealing a car probably wouldn’t go down any smoother. Plus, Raquel had sorted a safe – well, apparently safe, place for them to drive to. Someone to hide them. It was more than tempting, and by far the most convenient option, considering Alicia was running just on adrenaline. It was just enough to drive to the destination Raquel had sorted out for them to stay at, but most definitely not enough to think of her own coherent escape plan without getting caught in the next few hours. Raquel remained Alicia’s best choice.

The drive was nearly two hours; Raquel made some inconvenient route avoiding any predictable roads or places which could possibly be tracked. Alicia wanted to roll her eyes at the paranoia, but perhaps it wasn’t a bad idea. It was wise, most definitely. Alicia was more of the sort of person willing to gamble their luck, knowing it was more than certain they were now more or less safe, however, there was no arguing with Raquel. Not that Alicia even could; Raquel didn’t give her their final destination, just in case Alicia got bored of playing labyrinth.

They parked the car a few roads from their given destination. Raquel had grown awfully pale; Alicia didn’t want to make any comments but it seemed that the blood had soaked through her hoodie. Alicia opened the door and draped on of Raquel’s arms around her, lifting her out of the car. The groan of pain the woman made didn’t sound promising either. Alicia locked the door and sighed; she could come back for the money later – there was no way she could carry everything, and sorting the situation with Raquel out was a priority. They walked down two more streets and Alicia cursed herself and Raquel that they hadn’t parked nearer

The made it towards a medium sized house, nothing special. Rather normal in fact. Raquel still hadn’t told her exactly where they were going to stay and who was going to receive them. From the rather calm residential area it didn’t seem the members of the mob would be the people awaiting them on the other side of the door. All of a sudden Alicia panicked. Maybe it was family, friends? Did they even know what had happened? Or would they open the door and immediately call the ambulance and the police. Alicia and sighed as she knocked on the door; Raquel couldn’t have been that stupid.

The door flung open in less then ten seconds, and in front of Alicia stood a boy. Well, not exactly a boy, probably in his late teens or early twenties; he scanned Alicia with his eyes, giving her a rather judgemental look, before turning all his attention to Raquel. He stepped forward, almost shoving Alicia out of the way, as he swiftly lifted Raquel off the ground and into his arms.

“Mama!” the boy turned to look up at a woman who was standing on the top of the stairs whom Alicia didn’t notice previously.

“Bring her upstairs, Axel,” the woman’s tone seemed urgent but calm; good. They were expecting them to arrive exactly in this state and no other. It made Alicia sigh in relief.

Alicia didn’t know how long she stood there, her eyes following the young man as he carried Raquel up the stairs and disappeared inside one of the rooms alongside the woman. Alicia hadn’t even noticed she was still standing in front of the door, not having dared to cross the threshold. She wanted to laugh; she remembered how exactly two weeks ago it was Raquel who was so hesitant in entering her apartment. And here they are.

It took her another few seconds before she finally decided to enter the house. She could flee. She had the car keys. Some money; she was pretty sure Raquel even had some sort of fake documents made for them. Her new hosts seemed to be more preoccupied with Raquel rather than her. It was most definitely her chance.

She sighed as she saw the boy run back down the stairs; perhaps she wasn’t exactly forgotten, after all. He stopped in front of her and reached behind to close the door, slamming it shut and twisting the lock. Alicia decided she was going to test the waters; she still had no idea who she was dealing with. She needed to know who these people were and what were their intentions. This was no longer a game, and Alicia needed to find out for herself, if staying here was her wisest choice. She trusted Raquel to know well enough whose hands she was putting herself in, but she wouldn’t follow blindly. Especially since this could be her last chance to escape.

She reached for the gun she had tucked behind her skirt and pointed it at the boy. Her hand was surprisingly steady, despite how much effort it was taking her to keep herself on her feet; she was exhausted. The boy froze and shot her a confused look. He seemed more clueless rather than scared; Alicia couldn’t decide whether it was good or bad. He most certainly had a gun pointed at him before. That, seemed rather worrying.

“Scared that I’ll escape?” Alicia tilted her head, pointing at the door.

“Escape?” the boy snorted, to Alicia’s annoyance; she was meant to sound threatening, “you think, you’re what? A prisoner?”

“Am I not?” Alicia looked at him, this time she was confused, “why lock the door?”

“I don’t know? Perhaps so that the whole street doesn’t see what happens inside?” he frowned, looking at Alicia and the gun she was still pointing at him, “like, do you not tend to shut the door to your house? Or are you dumb or something?”

Alicia looked at the kid in disbelief; gosh, she thought dealing with Raquel was bad enough. She completely forgot about how beyond fucking annoying teenagers were. Raquel acting like a child wasn’t even that bad in comparison to having to deal with this. And she wasn’t in the state to deal with it at all. This was the last thing she expected when she knocked on the door. She thought she’d be facing the mob, some gang members, the mafia? Perhaps even the police, who managed to figure something out, or Raquel doing something wrong when looking for her ‘contact’. She most certainly wasn’t expecting a teenager calling her dumb for asking why he shut the door. This couldn’t be happening; it had to be some fucked up dream. It seemed dealing with the mafia would most definitely been easier. Alicia burst out laughing. How did she end up here?

“So, I can just walk out of the door and leave?” Alicia chuckled, tucking the gun back into the waistband of her skirt. Right. It wasn’t as bad as she thought.

“No one is holding you here,” the boy shrugged, clearly unmoved, “you can throw yourself off the roof for all I care.”

It made Alicia snort. Great. She was free. Perhaps she ought to use this as her last opportunity to run? Perhaps it was a sign she should get out as fast as possible to not have to face going back and everything Raquel’s plan would inevitably entail? Was this her call? It wasn’t amazing, but she could figure something out. An hour or sleep or so would be enough to put her back on her feet. She would check the news, see what the situation was. There was a decent amount of money in the bag; depending on how everything would unravel she could even risk driving back up to Madrid to pick up a few things. It would be a while until Raquel would recover enough to call the police to frame her, and it seemed like her ‘contact’ didn’t really care at all about what Alicia did. Their part of the deal was to accommodate them rather than make sure Alicia didn’t try anything. It really was her choice to be part of this.

Well, apparently it wasn’t exactly her choice. Just as Alicia turned around and made a step towards the door, her head started spinning. Vertigo. She cursed herself but it was no use; in a matter of seconds her whole world turned black.

The boy sighed as he saw Alicia stumble towards the door before losing consciousness. He promptly moved to catch her in his arms before she hit the ground.

Turned out she was staying, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will clear the timeline up in detail in the next chapter; in this fic Axel is 17 rather than, what, 7? And yes, he still is Nairobi's son...
> 
> .... but who is Nairobi??? What are they doing here?? What do yall think?? ;D 
> 
> Also, opinions on 'not so good as we might have thought' Raquel??? 
> 
> Thank you for readingggg; love yall <333
> 
> Its raquellmurillo on tumblr if ya wanna chat idk? Have some suggestions?? lol


	8. Peculiar Bonds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holaaa my loves; I'm soo sorry for taking forever... take this second longest *10k ish* chapter as a reward for your patience lmaooo
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudosssss; they make me smile so much omg <333 
> 
> Basically, I decided to combine this chapter with the next next one and its been a rideeee; it's laying out the basic ideas for the next part of the storyyyy and I needed to make sure everything was clear as its gonna start getting a bit more complicateddddd
> 
> nah I legit had tears in my eyes trying to figure out the narrative lineeeee honestly the most difficult part is deciding what to reveal and when to reveal it
> 
> No warnings! These are just the basic ideas; things will start to become clearer as we go along. AND you'll find out more and more lol
> 
> Remember, everything has a purpose (!!! ;D) and will soon become clear.... well, or will it? ;D

The bright light slowly seeping into the room woke up Alicia. She was surprised to find that she was rather comfortable; warm, wrapped up in a blanket. She momentarily smiled; perhaps everything was just a bad dream. The smile slowly faded as she realised that something was off; this most certainly wasn’t her blanket. The smell was different. Not to mention she most definitely wasn’t in her room either.

The wave of pain which crashed through her body a second later was the rest of the proof she needed to come to the conclusion that the events of last night were very much real. Her head was pulsing mercilessly; slowly the memory of nearly losing consciousness as she was shoved into the ledge of the boot door was coming back to her. Her muscles were screaming; she wasn’t sure if it was the digging or the hike which Raquel organised for them. If that wasn’t enough, she could feel her stomach turn. She wasn’t sure if it was from the pain, exhaustion or the concussion, but she most defiantly was going to be sick. Great. Not like she even had much to be sick with; their late-night adventure most certainly used up the three bites she had of her microwave meal for dinner.

Alicia managed to finally fully open her eyes, despite the excruciating effort, and thanked all the gods of the universe that the room apparently had an on-suite bathroom which seemed a mere two meters away from the bed. She stood up, cursing herself as her legs nearly gave in when she made her first step. The next few steps were a blur, but all that mattered was that she made it to the toilet in time to empty the rest of the food remaining in her stomach there, rather than on the bedroom floor.

Alicia wasn’t sure how long she remained hunched over the toilet, but slowly the headache was beginning to subside and she was starting to feel ever so slightly better. She flushed the toilet and slowly got up, looking at herself in the mirror. She was a state. The purple under her both of her eyes seemed to be an impressive shade; the strength of the impact was a lot greater than she thought. She probably didn’t feel it as such because of the adrenaline. However, it seemed like someone had taken care of cleaning up the mess the confrontation with the police had left of her eye ridge. She snorted; she was half expecting to wake up in an ice bath with her kidneys missing, it was certainly a pleasant surprise.

She washed her face and was glad to find some clothes and a towel left out for her on top of one of the cabinets in the bathroom. She waited a few more minutes until she had recovered enough to undress and slowly walk into the shower cabin, using the wall to support herself, just in case her legs gave in again. She decided that since her hosts were kind enough to patch up her injuries and tuck her into bed, she was in no immediate danger. A quick shower wasn’t the worst idea, considering she was still to some extent covered in blood. She had no idea if it was the blood she failed to wash off in the lake, or if it was fresh; she couldn’t even tell whose it was either – Raquel’s or hers.

Raquel. Fuck. She wasn’t in the greatest state the last time she saw her. But she was fine. She had to be fine. She had the audacity to criticise Alicia’s parallel parking skills before they got out of the car; she couldn’t have been that bad if she had enough energy to piss her off. Alicia for a fact knew Raquel was stubborn enough not to die solely so, “the police is going to catch us because you’re going to get us a parking fine” wouldn’t be her last words.

Alicia switched on the hot water and almost moaned when she felt the warmth spread through her skin. She closed her eyes, and with her back against the wall, she slowly slid down, until she was sitting right beneath the stream of hot water. It made her relax, finally feeling the tension leave her muscles. She knew she needed to start gathering her thoughts up, and quickly, but all she could think about was the peaceful hum of the water. She didn’t want to think of anything else. Raquel’s plan complicated things a lot. Raquel complicated things.

Alicia didn’t know how much time passed since she got into the shower, but could slowly feel herself dosing off. She finally opened her eyes, watching as red coloured water was flowing down the drain; it made her shiver. A bad omen; going back wasn’t going to end well. Not like Alicia was superstitious, it was clearly one of her cuts which had opened back up, but she couldn’t help but think this wasn’t a good sign. Alicia rolled her eyes at herself as she switched off the faucet and grabbed the towel, getting out of the shower. She was starting to become ridiculous; omens? How was she even serious about that? Pathetic. This was what no food and multiple injures did to her. If this sort of thing continued at this rate, in a few days’ time she might as well end up buying a voodoo doll and naming it Raquel to solve her issues.

She dried herself with the towel and walked back into the bedroom. She put on a black over sized tee and some joggers; most definitely a better choice of clothing than Raquel’s. Ah, Raquel. Perhaps, she didn’t wake up in an ice bath, because it was occupied by her?

Alicia slowly opened the door, and silently made her way down the hallway. There were two more doors upstairs; she grabbed the handle of the first door and twisted it, making sure not to make any noise. She sighed in relief as she saw Raquel was calmly sleeping alone in the room. Mainly because it seemed to confirm that whoever they were staying with, at least for now, didn’t have malicious intentions. She walked in, making sure to equally quietly shut the door.

Alicia immediately knew that she made the right choice, as there was a packet of cigarettes and a lighter lying on the bedside table. She walked up to the bed and grabbed a cigarette from the pack, lighting it, as she looked down at Raquel. Alicia sighed; it was almost ironic as to how at peace Raquel seemed. More than anything it was annoying; Alicia was in pain and apparently needed to sort everything out herself, as fucking sleeping beauty needed her rest after her late-night murder adventures. Well, of course, Alicia didn’t expect anything less from Murillo.

Alicia rolled her eyes as she walked around the bed. It was nice finding the cigarette packet but some pain killers would’ve been a lot better in the current state she was in. She slowly lowered herself onto the bed, making sure not to wake up Raquel, as the mattress shifted beneath her weight. Raquel most certainly needed the rest more than she did, and with the headache Alicia had, an unconscious Raquel was by far better company than a conscious one. All of a sudden feeling extremely tired, Alicia rested her head on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling, as she took another drag of her cigarette.

She closed her eyes, listening to Raquel’s steady yet still ever so slightly laboured breathing; she needed to think about what they were going to do next. She had absolutely no idea how much of the next part of this plan Raquel had thought of, if she had thought of anything at all.

From the little speech before the confrontation with the police, Alicia understood that the bottom line was getting money. Robbing, more precisely. Raquel briefly mentioned some article and accused Alicia of having quite a large sum of money buried on the lands of a property located on the outskirts of Nador, which Raquel figured out she worked at, years ago. The plan was to go and retrieve that money. It didn’t take Alicia long to figure out that it really wouldn’t have matter if she denied the existence of such money. Raquel was not going to spend her life robbing corner stores, and if she had any hope of being able to lead a normal life with her daughter, she needed an impressive sum of money. Alicia was almost certain Raquel would make the decision to leave her daughter in better hands, rather than make her live in the misery and consequence of the decision she made otherwise. Therefore, Raquel wasn’t going to let her last hope slip so easily.

Alicia was without a doubt certain that Raquel had done enough research to figure out there was most definitely something to get their hands on at the property, if in the worst case the story with the buried money turned out to be false. However, doing this research, Raquel most certainly must’ve come across the sort of people she’d be dealing with. Dangerous. Ruthless. Alicia opened her eyes and glanced at Raquel, who seemed to be gently smiling; it made her snort when she thought about the events which took place a mere few hours ago. Perhaps Alicia should be more worried about the people who get in Raquel’s way. Alicia shook her head; she really did underestimate Raquel, and thinking about it, perhaps she was more than capable of dealing with these people.

It however, didn’t change the fact that the building they would be robbing, was better guarded than any building in Spain, and that getting in and out, unnoticed, might not exactly go too smoothly. Alicia took a drag of the cigarette; she figured out that she would be tasked with sorting out their entrance and exit. Apparently, the fact that she had worked there what seemed like a century ago, qualified her for the task. If Raquel truly believed she had managed to almost successfully do it once, perhaps it wasn’t exactly stupid thinking she could do it again. Truth be told, if they hadn’t refurbished the building, it could be simpler than expected; Alicia knew the ‘palace’ like the back of her hand, with the beige coloured passage ways haunting her in her nightmare till this day. Beige stained with blood, more like.

Alicia took another drag of the cigarette as she unsuccessfully tried to get that image out of her head. In any case, she was the best Raquel could get; both of them knew it would have to do.

Alicia turned on her side, facing Raquel. She studied her features hoping to forget the images which flashed through her mind. It truly fascinated her; she remembered how two weeks ago she saw the woman scrunch her face up in pain, clearly struggling in her sleep. Restless. She couldn’t be more different now, having finally gotten rid of Alberto. Alicia felt tempted to move a little closer and tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, gently tracing her fingertips over her cheek. She wondered if Raquel would tense at her touch. She wondered if her gentle smile would fade, if she trailed her finger over the cut on her lip. Would she grow restless if Alicia gently dug her nail in when running her finger along her jaw; or perhaps she would part her lips, just like she did a few hours ago, when she felt Alicia press her lips to her skin in the very same place. Yet Alicia didn’t do anything; she simply watched, smirking. She wondered if it was even possible to recognise someone’s touch whilst asleep. If her fingertips would feel any different tracing Raquel’s skin; out of pure interest of course.

She had no idea how long she had spent lying next to Raquel asleep in blissful tranquility; one thought kept crossing her mind. Alicia couldn’t help but wonder whether Raquel would sleep just as calmly if she got Alicia killed.

Alicia dismissed the thought immediately; glancing one last time at Raquel before turning back around to lie on her back, staring blankly at the ceiling. She needed to think, and not about Raquel. She cursed herself; those weren’t the sort of thoughts that should be crossing her mind. In her current situation, it would be more fitting to look at Raquel and contemplate suffocating her with a pillow. Which, truth be told, a part of her was also very tempted to do. She did still very much hate Raquel. Last night had done nothing but intensified that feeling. Yet, what Alicia hated her the most for, was that going along with Raquel, ironically, was still her best option. Alicia wasn’t exactly planning on robbing corner stores for the rest of her life, either. If they managed to think of some coherent plan, robbing the property, well, the General who the property belonged to, wasn’t a bad idea at all. Alongside the money Alicia had, half of the ‘riches’ found on the property technically ‘didn’t exist’ or were themselves stolen. Perhaps Raquel had done more research and was planning to get her hands not just on the money?

If they managed to get away with robbing the General, they wouldn’t even have to worry about the robbery being reported to the police. They’d be free, and if they got away smoothly, they could potentially avoid anyone coming after them. Alicia sighed; it’s not like she was ever going to get such a cheque from the police. Nor did she have a Swiss bank account with stolen millions. At the end of the day, sitting on some tropical island with a glass of Tequila Sunrise didn’t sound like a bad early retirement plan.

Alicia put out the cigarette on the night side table, and one last time, turned back around to face Raquel. She had no idea what she was going to do with her. Alicia knew she would never simply allow someone to get away with destroying her stability. If Raquel wanted to play with fire, she was going to get burnt. No one does that to Alicia, and Raquel wouldn’t be an exception. Of course, her revenge couldn’t get in the way of getting the money, which was the only benefit she was going to get out of this. Yet if things didn’t exactly go to plan, Alicia wouldn’t allow Raquel to have the pleasure of getting herself killed without having a hand in it. Whatever she decided to do, she was sure Raquel would regret what she had done.

Alicia was just about to get up, when Raquel’s neck caught her eye. Or more precisely the marks she left on it. She couldn’t help but stare; there was something incredibly… magnetic about it. It made her want to laugh; the perfect Inspectora tainted. Every time she looked in the mirror it would serve as a reminder of her crimes. She would be forced to remember what circumstances put them on her neck in the first place. Alicia acting as Raquel’s conscience; to torment her, to point, silently at the blood on her hands.

Yet at the same time Alicia couldn’t help but think there was something incredibly possessive about it. Raquel Murillo was untouchable; or at least the image she liked to uphold in front of everyone. She had left those marks on her neck. They were hers. Just hers. She had the privilege to show the world her true nature. She couldn’t help but smile evilly; she liked it. Despite her fate being in Raquel’s hands, Raquel’s crimes would forever be in hers. Raquel hadn’t fully been able make it untouched, not only physically.

Alicia bit her bottom lip as she saw Raquel stir. More images from the previous night flooded her head. Though she would never admit to it, she never really thought of ‘marking’ Raquel with that intention. She was glad her crimes would now visibly haunt her and all… but it was far from the reason as to why the marks were there in the first place. However much she wanted to, she couldn’t deny she got a little bit carried away. It was far too satisfying hearing the little noises Raquel was so badly trying not to make; it might have made Alicia purposefully suck on her neck just a little bit harder.

Something about it made Alicia’s stomach stir; in a very different way from when she woke up. Alicia shook her head immediately getting that thought out of her mind as she made her way to the door. She was going to make Raquel pay.

Nothing would stop her; Raquel was hers.

Alicia quietly shut the door and made her way downstairs; she heard some noise coming from the kitchen which at the end of the hall. The woman she saw previously, was cooking something and humming along to the radio. The boy was nowhere to be found. Alicia silently walked down the hallway and stopped right in front of the half open kitchen door. She scanned the kitchen quickly; standard, nothing unusual. A small table in the corner with three chairs, black marble countertops running all the way around; a fairly small stove by which the woman she saw earlier was cooking something. A clock; fuck. Alicia completely forgot to check the time; she had no idea how long she had been unconscious for. She sighed in relief – it wasn’t too bad; nearly ten in the morning. Alicia continued to scan the kitchen, until she spotted what she was looking for. She finally entered the kitchen, grabbing a knife which was lying on the tabletop. She approached the woman silently, waiting for her to turn around. As soon as she did, Alicia took her chance and took a step forward, gently touching the woman’s neck with the blade.

The woman narrowed her eyes but said nothing. She didn’t even flinch. Alicia was ever so slightly taken aback. Either the woman was expecting this from her or she had been threatened with a knife before. Most likely both. The woman looked down and furrowed her eyebrows; maybe because of the shock she didn’t fully acknowledge the blade? Alicia was momentarily relieved at the reaction; her display of power was going to work in the way in which she needed it to work.

“You didn’t put any socks on…” the woman was still looking down, “the tiles in the kitchen are cold; I don’t want you getting a cold.”

Alicia’s jaw nearly dropped. It wasn’t the first time she held a knife blade to someone’s neck; it was most defiantly the first time that very person was authentically worried about her health and wellbeing more than their own. Now, she most certainly wasn’t expecting this, but somehow, she wasn’t mad. It made Alicia feel relieved despite not having achieved what she intended. She still had absolutely no idea who she was dealing with and she knew it was essential to make sure things would be done on their terms and not the other way around. The reply wasn’t exactly what Alicia was aiming for, but the fact the woman seemed concerned about her in such a situation was far from a bad sign.

“Scrambled eggs or an omelette?” The woman asked, looking at Alicia who still hadn’t moved.

The woman laughed as Alicia’s face turned into a grimace of confusion; this was far from what she was expecting after such a confrontation. Not only was the woman not in the slightest bothered about the knife, she wasn’t even going to attempt talking Alicia out of holding it against her throat. Apparently, that seemed to be a step which the woman didn’t deem of significant importance and decided to simply move on. Alicia lowered the knife, still keeping it tightly in her grip. The woman simply smiled at that and proceeded to grab some eggs, and a bowl from one of the cupboards, not paying much attention to Alicia.

“I’m sure it’s not the most complicated choice you’ve had to make in the past few hours,” the woman continued, moving around the kitchen to grab a pan, “scrambled eggs or an omelette?”

“Scrambled eggs…” Alicia finally recovered after the initial shock and moved to sit down at the small table, “do you usually react like that to people threatening you with a knife?”

The woman chuckled as she cracked the eggs into the bowl. Alicia was sitting at the table and got the first proper look of her. She was significantly taller than her; her hair was down, with two little plaits on the side. She was wearing some jeans and a red tank top with matching feather earrings. From what Alicia could tell she was most definitely younger; probably somewhere in her mid-30s. She had an incredibly carefree vibe about her, yet from their confrontation a second ago Alicia figured out that her life had been far from carefree. Now the question was how had they managed to get into this woman’s house.

“Raquel mentioned that you’re a difficult guest,” the woman simply shrugged, glancing at Alicia, “I expected nothing less.”

It made Alicia snort; of course. ‘Difficult guest’. That did sound like something taken straight out of Raquel’s mouth.

“Is that all the information she has given you about me?” Alicia joked, seeing the mood was light, “I was expecting a little more from her…”

“She might have mentioned she deeply cared about you,” the woman winked at Alicia whose eyes went ever so slightly wider, most certainly caught off guard.

“Really?” Alicia said sarcastically, catching onto the joke a second later as she looked up at the woman who was now giggling.

“No, I was just messing with you,” she winked at Alicia, “She said you’re a bitch. Tea, coffee?”

“Coffee, please,” Alicia took the cup the woman gave her, and took a sip.

The woman continued with making the food as Alicia drank the coffee. She was finally starting to feel her senses coming back to her. She smiled as the woman seemed to read her mind, or perhaps noticed how uncomfortably she was sitting and chucked her a packet of painkillers. Exactly what she needed. As she swallowed three, seemingly ignoring the fact she ought to take at most two in four hours, Alicia realised she still had no idea who the woman looking at her with slight concern was. Alicia had just about managed to figure out she most likely had something to do with the medical world, as looking at the packet, the painkillers were rather strong, and most definitely not ones you could get over the counter. Perhaps that explained the concern in the woman’s eyes at the amount she took, but at the same time, Alicia came to the conclusion she needed a miracle to fully numb the pain she felt; she was getting too old for this.

“So, who are you?” Alicia finally broke the silence, looking up at the woman.

“Agata, well, most people call me Nairobi…” the woman snorted, “I’m Raquel’s sister.”

“I didn’t know she had another sister,” Alicia was somewhat surprised.

“Well, half-sister,” Nairobi continued, “we have the same dad; he left soon after she was born. She started looking for him in her late teens and ended up finding me.”

“And now you’re best buddies?” Alicia smirked, “partners in crime? You’re willing to help out just like that? Do you even know what she did?”

“I owe her, for a lot of things,” Nairobi snorted, “of course I know what she did. I’m surprised it took her so long.”

Nairobi finished cooking and put the scrambled eggs onto two plates. She placed one in front of Alicia and one opposite for herself. She quickly opened the fridge and grabbed some butter and cream cheese, placing it in the middle of the of the small table. She grabbed another plate from one of the cupboards to place a few slices of bread from the bread basket on it, before putting it beside the butter. Satisfied with the setup, she finally took a seat opposite Alicia, giving her a gentle smile. Oh she was going to have some fun. Nairobi never thought she’d meet the woman which was the antagonist of every one of Raquel’s rather fascinating stories. Now, she had a once in a life time opportunity to torment her, just a little.

“Anything on the news?” Alicia asked as she grabbed a piece of bread.

“Nope, nothing; well, about you two at least,” Nairobi shook her head, “the fire hasn’t made it onto national news, yet, either; you’re fine for now.”

Alicia nodded as she proceeded to butter the bread; she couldn’t help but notice that the woman was looking at her with an enigmatic smile. Great. Raquel’s sister. She had no doubt she had a lot of interesting information about her.

“I like cream cheese,” Alicia commented as she relaxed, deciding to proceed with something along the lines of small talk, now she had the most important piece of information she needed.

“I know, I was specifically instructed to buy some,” Nairobi simply answered, concentrating on buttering her bread, “Raquel said you liked it.”

It took Nairobi a lot of effort not to burst out laughing. The comment made Alicia press down on her knife with a far from a gentle force, not only nearly cutting through the bread, but also dropping the knife onto the floor in the process. Nairobi raised her eyebrows; well, that was an interesting reaction indeed. It looked like this was going to prove a lot more entertaining than Nairobi thought it would be.

“Really?” Alicia questioned sarcastically, yet this time with less conviction.

Nairobi simply smiled and shrugged as she got up to get another knife from the cupboard. Alicia was so confused. She expected to go downstairs and deal with some dangerous criminals which might have arrived whilst she was unconscious. She was even worried that perhaps she was going to have to explain what was actually going on to some poor family friend. She most certainly wasn’t expecting to be sitting at a kitchen table at breakfast, trying to figure out when and if she actually told Raquel she liked cream cheese. She had no idea if the woman was messing with her or if such a conversation actually took place between her and Raquel. How, despite everything that had happened, in a matter of seconds, had this become her greatest concern? She was emotionally preparing herself to deal with a lot of things, but this most certainly wasn’t one of them.

Alicia narrowed her eyes as the woman sat back down, opposite her. As expected, the woman simply widened her smile at Alicia’s attempt of intimidation, and continued eating her scrambled egg. The woman really had the ability to go from worried mum to annoying little sister in seconds. It seemed that the ability to annoy her clearly run in the family; she was really in no state to deal with this. They were on the run; she had to concentrate on that. Not fucking cream cheese. Yet Alicia’s mind was clearly not complying as she couldn’t help but think that if the piece of information (yes, about the cream cheese) was legitimate, Raquel wouldn’t exactly want her to know either. Alicia was hoping that Raquel would be humane enough to not let her starve; but the thought of Raquel providing her with her very own personalised catering… perhaps knowing Alicia wouldn’t be in the best of moods having, gently put, ruined her life, Raquel figured that feeding her what she liked would make it up to her. Now, the thought of Raquel trying to make things up to her with little things seemed to annoy her even more.

“Earth to planet cream cheese, is anyone there?” the giggle snapped Alicia out of her thoughts, “I mean I know what I have to say is nowhere near as interesting as replaying your passionate conversations about dairy products with my sister, in your head, but…”

“Are you done?” Alicia shot Nairobi an annoyed look, which simply caused the woman to snort.

“Oh come on, don’t make that face,” the woman gently laughed, “I was just teasing; couldn’t miss an opportunity to do that to the infamous Alicia Sierra.”

“Would I care to know why ‘infamous’?” Alicia raised her eyebrows in question, intrigued.

“Oh no, don’t worry, nothing in particular,” Nairobi winked as she got up to grab something from the fridge, “I’ve just heard many stories…”

Alicia rolled her eyes, as she took another bite out of her cream cheese sandwich. Of course, she expected nothing less from Raquel; bitching and complaining about her to everyone. Well, with their work relationship it wasn’t exactly surprising; there was a large selection of stories to pick from.

She remembered that one time she got a new phone number and decided too make full use of it. She was bored and had little work to do, so she decided to steal Raquel’s keyboard. She then proceeded to take photos of it in various places at the police station. Since no one had her new number, blackmailing Raquel with photos of her keyboard in a different place every hour or so worked out better than she thought. Raquel spent the whole day running from one side of the building to the other. Her fun was ruined when Raquel’s fucking guardian teddy bear caught her taking a picture and went to snitch. Raquel, did, indeed, have quite a go at her; but damn, it was worth it. The next day Angel also found that all the letters had been scratched off his keyboard; Alicia didn’t appreciate when people ruined her fun.

Alicia came to a satisfactory conclusion that ‘infamous’ most certainly wasn’t out of place. She was certain that Raquel would’ve called at least one person to vent about everything Alicia put her through in the office. It was no doubt that the two were close; well, they had to be close for her to accommodate fugitive Raquel. Although, something was telling Alicia that there was more to it. Even if she was her beloved sister, she seemed far too at ease. Not that Alicia was exactly expecting her to disapprove of what Raquel did, not in that sense; things hadn’t gone to plan and Alicia had no doubt it was her who Raquel was on the phone to, earlier, and that she knew exactly what had happened. Yet the woman seemed as tranquil as ever; her tone was calm as she asked Alicia what she wanted for breakfast or when she disapproved of the fact, she didn’t have any socks on. As if nothing happened; a day as usual, not one bit more stressful. There was something off about it. Alicia expected her to be at least a little bit stressed; her tone when she talked about the fire seemed almost unbothered. It’s one thing deciding to help out and knowing what’s going to go down, but a completely different thing when said thing actually happens. The usual reaction has, at least trace amounts of worry; especially sheltering someone accused of murdering three people. Three policemen, to make it better. Not to mention how she reacted at being threatened with a knife… it seemed that the Murillo family had a lot more skeletons in the closet than she expected.

The woman sat back down and gave Alicia an enigmatic smile, which completely snapped Alicia out of her thoughts – there was something about it seemed rather odd. For a second Alicia froze. Fuck. She completely forgot. There was one story which was by far more ‘infamous’ than any other one. But it all happened, what, at least four or so years ago; she couldn’t remember exactly. Is this something that Raquel would’ve bitched to her about, though? What would she have even told her? It was nothing; there really was nothing to say? Surely Alicia asking as to why she was ‘infamous’ was the perfect opportunity to bring it up? If she wanted to mess with Alicia even more, there by far was nothing better than this story… meaning she didn’t know. Alicia shook her head dismissing the thought; of course this woman didn’t know.

“So, well,” Alicia took another bite of her bread, “what was it that you had to tell me?”

“Axel sorted everything out with the bag,” Nairobi replied, “and parked the car in a garage too, just in case someone recognised it.”

Fuck. Alicia completely forgot they left the bag covered in blood on the backseats… not exactly the wisest move. She took another sip of the coffee; she was surprised they even thought of looking. She really did underestimate Raquel’s choice of help.

“Axel?” Alicia asked, as she grabbed another piece of bread; by god, she was so hungry.

“The boy which opened the door,” Nairobi took a bite out of her sandwich, “he’s my son.”

Alicia nodded but narrowed her eyes. She heard that name before. Where did she know it from? Oh that was it. Years ago.

Raquel had been called in for an emergency meeting and arrived with a kid, no older than two or so. Raquel was clearly planning on bringing him into the meeting but Alicia made the fatal mistake of making eye contact with her. Before Alicia could say anything she had the kid in her hands, a bag on her shoulder and Raquel shouting, “he’s Axel, everything you need is in the bag, it would be great if you could try your best not to kill him”, as she quickly walked away. Alicia knew she was chosen by Raquel not only because she was the most competent out of everyone who was left at work, but also because Raquel knew she hated kids. Not enough to kill one, but most certainly enough to ruin her mood for the next few weeks if she had to spend her free time looking after a random one. Surprisingly, the three hours she spent with the kid were fairly pleasant. He ate something and fell asleep in her arms; she was almost proud. Not to mention she’d most definitely annoy Raquel with the fact the kid hadn’t managed to piss her off in the way Raquel most certainly planned him to. Raquel was herself shocked; she had no idea what Alicia did to make him stop crying, as Raquel had failed for the past few hours. It seemed miraculous to see the bundle asleep so calmly in Alicia’s, out of everyone’s, arms. And Alicia stupidly laughed saying that he was “going to be a bad one”, as “he could sense he was in the right arms”.

She wasn’t exactly wrong. Who knew that in fifteen years’ time he’d be calling her dumb over questioning why people shut fucking doors? Alicia sighed; if she knew this would be the case, perhaps she wouldn’t have been such an attentive babysitter.

“He’s currently at the docks,” Nairobi continued, “if Raquel is in a good enough state, your plan should be able to follow through without any delays.”

“Plan?” Alicia looked quizzically at Nairobi, “what plan?”

“Raquel didn’t tell you?” Nairobi took another bite of her sandwich, “he has a speed boat and is going to take the two of you to Melilla.”

Alicia raised her eyebrows. Now, that was interesting. And clever. Not like they were going to check their passports anyhow, in the end they were coming in from mainland Spain, but private transport was certainly the more comfortable option. Not only could they leave whenever, it would be a faster journey than taking the ferry. When Alicia drove the car into the city on Motril, she was glad Raquel had decided to make them drive straight to a port town, as from there finding some way to cross the sea shouldn’t have been too hard. She didn’t think Raquel had actually sorted that out too.

Alicia glanced up at Nairobi, narrowing her eyes as she proceeded to put cream cheese on her new piece of bread. She changed her mind. It wasn’t a clever idea if it was going to be the boy who she saw open the door taking them. It’s one thing having transport; another having transport which could guarantee getting them there. Assuming it would most likely be getting dark by the time the set off, the idea of the boy navigating them to safety sounded far from ideal. Alicia, was perhaps being sceptical, but he was, in the end, a child.

“How old is he again?” Alicia looked at Nairobi with a raised eyebrow, “he has his own boat?”

“He’s seventeen,” Nairobi simply responded, “his dad got him the boat for his sixteenth, when he could finally get a licence for it; it’s all legal if you’re worried about that.”

“That’s amazing! You’ve really reassured me with this ‘legality’ thing…” Alicia said sarcastically, “Melilla is far; I don’t exactly fancy being lost at sea with two children…?

“His father was a sailor,” Nairobi met Alicia’s eye, “obsessed with boats more like; whenever he’d come to see his son – we’re divorced – he’d take him to the docks or out to sea. He’s been to Melilla many times; with his father, alone. He knows how to navigate; I wouldn’t let him go otherwise. Neither would Raquel, for a matter of fact… ”

Nairobi almost cringed as she heard herself say that. Sailor? Axel’s father was a sailor, of sorts for sure. Well, he most definitely did sail. Far too much for her liking. But he didn’t exactly transport very legal cargo. Most people would probably find the word smuggler, or trafficker more fitting, yet Nairobi decided the woman sitting in front of her didn’t need the details.

Truth be told, it was simply easier sparing her the details; Nairobi herself didn’t really know how to go about explaining the job specifications, and from Alicia’s what would seem like, rather quizzical nature, she was certain she wouldn’t get away with simply leaving it at ‘drug trafficker’.

Her darling ‘husband’ always spared her the details too, “to keep her safe”, or “so she wouldn’t worry”. She did, however, know full well what he did before they got together. She was never in a good crowd, and unfortunately, had been involved in the drug business herself. She knew enough to be aware that it was far too risky to traffic things from one coast to the other in the same boat. There’d usually be two crews; one coming in from a Moroccan coast, and another meeting them in the middle of the sea. They would proceed to unload the packets of drugs or tobacco onto the boat waiting for them, as quickly as possible. Here, the task got more difficult; the second crew, or in other words her ex, had to get the cargo to the Spanish coast without being caught by the police or coast guard in the process. So, Axel’s father and his best friend – always the two of them - would, at maximum velocity, sail to something along the lines of a clandestine beach, where it was safe and out of sight to unload their questionable ‘cargo’.

“Similar taste in men as your sister or did just not work out?” Alicia’s voice snapped Nairobi out of her thoughts, clearly satisfied with the justification of why Axel was taking them.

“What do you mea- oh, the divorce?” Nairobi couldn’t help but snort, “Didn’t work out. He was away from home too much; we grew apart, I guess.”

“Too much sailing?” Alicia raised her eyebrows, her tone light and seemingly not malicious; it made Nairobi smile gently.

“Yes…” Nairobi sighed as she took a sip of her coffee, “I guess you could say so.”

Divorced wasn’t exactly quite the word either. It most definitely sounded better than saying that he abandoned her right before Axel was born. He turned up six years later, but by that time Nairobi made her mind up that there was no longer room for him in her life. She couldn’t deny him seeing Axel. She didn’t have the heart; especially as she figured from the new scars which covered his skin, it wasn’t exactly his choice to leave them for so long.

He didn’t really tell her anything. Sometimes he’d be gone for days, other times, weeks. Ironically, when he left a month or so before Axel’s birth, he promised it was his last time. Nairobi found it hard to believe; he liked it too much. The adrenaline and all. It became like an addiction. Although, at first it was about the money – she couldn’t deny it was good money. Far better than a 9-5 job could get them. But the risks where also explicably higher too. Prison or death awaited the ‘sailors’ at every coast. She did believe he was dead for most of the six years of his absence; when she saw him again, alive and at her doorstep, she knew she couldn’t bare to live through the hell of thinking she lost him again.

“So Raquel told me,” Nairobi looked up at Alicia who was finishing her scrambled egg, “that you’re familiar with the place you’re heading to…?”

Alicia smirked at the younger woman’s careful choice of words. Not asking too directly, seeing if Alicia was going to confirm or deny the information Raquel had provided her with; she couldn’t help but shake her head as her smile grew wider.

“I worked there; cleaned, cooked,” Alicia said, carefully studying the woman, “I suppose I know the building well enough…”

“This money?” Nairobi continued, “you’re sure you can get it?”

“Is this an interrogation?” Alicia raised her eyebrows.

“Let me tell you something,” Nairobi’s tone was serious yet equally calm, “Raquel is my older sister. I could kill for her; I’d rather you be honest with me. I don’t care if this money is real, fake; I don’t want her to get hurt.”

“And even if it was fake,” Alicia took a sip of her coffee, “do you think that would stop her?”

Nairobi took a deep breath; she wasn’t expecting a coherent answer for Alicia. However, the woman’s words really hit her. She was starting to understand what Raquel meant when she said the woman was truthful to the core. There was nothing malicious in the statement; it was overwhelming as it was painfully true. The silence was her answer; of course, it wouldn’t stop Raquel. No matter what Alicia told her now, and what she then told Raquel – her sister was set on going to Nador.

The thing that worried Nairobi, was that she was almost certain that the General whom Raquel was planning to rob, was one of the people who run the business which Axel’s father was involved in for many years. She knew for a fact, that one doesn’t mess with these people; she remembered how at one point her ex-boyfriend came home trembling because he had a rather unpleasant confrontation with one of the people ‘higher up’. The man feared nothing, and the person who left him in such a state wasn’t even anywhere near as important as the General who was more or less the leader of the shit show. Of course she told Raquel all of this, hoping that telling her these people were a ‘different breed’ would change her mind. She wondered if perhaps Alicia saying, fuck, even hinting that it was impossible to get any money, would give her a more comprehensive argument to make Raquel reconsider.

Raquel, seemed, however, fairly confident and comfortable in her choice; or at least sounded so when she told her over the phone. These people, the General especially, were no strangers to the police, and she knew Raquel most definitely had access to all the police information about them. However much Nairobi wanted to argue, she also knew Raquel. She was far from stupid. She had to be certain she could get something out of going there, be it Alicia’s money or some other stolen goods, as otherwise Raquel wouldn’t have made that decision. She was sure of it. Fuck, she was the most competent person she knew. At the end of the day, she was, what, one of the best negotiators in Spain? She was no stranger to judging risk; not everyone had the balls to be the person they send to talk terrorists out of blowing up a bus with school children. When Raquel called her and told her about the whole plan, Nairobi agreed to help despite her doubts, knowing deep down that Raquel knew exactly what she was doing. Or she hoped so at least, as there was no stopping of her.

“Do you think I’d be going if there was nothing there?” Alicia took a sip of her coffee, “I could simply smother the girl with a pillow and walk out of this house if there was nothing in this for me.”

The woman looked up and smiled; there it was. A rather unconventional way to reassure someone, but Nairobi was surprised Alicia would attempt to do it at all. Of course she’d threaten Raquel in the process but it seemed almost paradoxical in the sense of reassuring her that her sister would be fine, yet at the same time, still making herself sound as a threat. It made Nairobi giggle; Alicia looked at her and rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide that she was smiling too. They both made eye contact; it was weird, this moment they shared. As if it should’ve never happened. Far too intimate for Alicia’s liking, and with a meaning neither knew how to go about deciphering. Alicia looked away first, as she grabbed her cup of now cold coffee, and took a final sip, quickly forgetting about it.

“You should probably get some rest,” Nairobi grabbed the plates and put them in the sink, “It’s quite a long journey.”

Alicia stood up and slowly made her way to the door. She turned around and leaned on the door frame as she observed the woman wash up the plates. There was one thing which wasn’t giving her rest.

“Why Nairobi?” Alicia finally asked, intrigued.

“Raquel thought of it actually,” Nairobi turned around as smirked at her, “I got in trouble, and apparently the only name she could think of for me was the capital of Kenya.”

Alicia couldn’t help but laugh; Nairobi couldn’t help but raise her eyebrows. She remembered that one time Raquel called her up, out of her mind drunk, and started telling her a very different to the usual, story about the woman who had become the bane of her existence. She thought Raquel was just so out of it that she confused the names, but now watching the woman standing in the door frame, it dawned on her that perhaps it was actually legitimate. Nairobi always assumed it was just drunk bullshit, which neither bothered to bring back up; but now… Nairobi decided she might test her theory soon enough.

“If I remember correctly,” Nairobi raised her eyebrows, “I think she might have introduced herself as Inspectora Sierra…”

Alicia frowned; trust the little bitch to be using her name. Apparently trying to frame her has always been one of Raquel’s hobbies. But as she looked back at the woman and her sparking eyes, Alicia groaned internally; she was messing with her again, wasn’t she? How many more times was she going to fall for this?

“You know what,” Alicia threw her hands up in the air, glaring at Nairobi, “I don’t want to know.”

Nairobi burst out laughing as she watched Alicia leave the kitchen. She quickly walked after her; she still had her theory to test, and one thing she was planning to say to Alicia. She wanted to thank her. However strange that seemed. When Nairobi heard Raquel’s plan, she couldn’t believe Raquel would truly consider taking Alicia along with her. When Raquel proceeded to tell her that she didn’t need to worry as she was going to, lightly put, threaten Alicia into coming, Nairobi thought she was out of her mind and would never make it. She was certain the woman would abandon her or kill her in the process. Even after Raquel called in the morning after everything, the worst scenario’s kept crossing Nairobi’s head, for example, once Alicia got in the car, she could easily shove Raquel out. From Raquel’s voice it was evident she wouldn’t stand a chance if Alicia decided to hijack the car leave her behind. Yet she didn’t. She didn’t abandon her. For some reason, Nairobi was starting to think that it couldn’t just be pure hate, which was guiding Alicia’s actions...

Raquel was alive yet not in a very great state when she called her; Nairobi wasn’t sure she heard correctly when Raquel told her Alicia “saved her” from the policeman. It really made no sense; especially after everything Raquel had ever told her about the woman. Not only did she not try to kill Raquel for framing her, she went ahead and saved her. There was absolutely no logic to it; Nairobi sincerely wished she had enemies like that too. For a while Nairobi thought Raquel simply mixed up the names or she had mixed up the Alicia with another Alicia; but no. It was the red-haired woman from Raquel’s stories and pictures who stood in her doorway, carrying Raquel. Nairobi couldn’t have been more shocked.

She wasn’t surprised, however, that the woman didn’t ask how Raquel was. Nairobi finished nursing school, and made sure she patched up Raquel’s injuries. The cut on her abdomen wasn’t as bad as she thought; Raquel had just lost a lot of blood and it wasn’t looking great at first. The cut could’ve even gotten away with no stitches, but Nairobi decided it would heal faster and be less prone to opening again if Raquel got any interesting ideas. Such an ‘interesting’ scenario, didn’t exactly seem unlikely; Raquel in a criminal partnership with her ‘nearly took my eye out as she threw a stapler at me’ colleague, Alicia, seemed like a perfect combination for ‘interesting ideas’. She put Raquel under some anesthetics, to stitch everything up and so she could get some rest. Nairobi sorted a few things out, and decided to look over Raquel. Everything looked fine and she doubted Raquel would get worse; she simply wanted to make sure Raquel didn’t fall out of bed, or perhaps start showing signs of a mild fever. She was sitting, watching over Raquel when she heard the shower running next door.

She decided to go downstairs to the kitchen so she could make some food for Alicia when she came downstairs, leaving Raquel in the room. She came to the conclusion that if Alicia was going to kill her, she wouldn’t have bothered to bring her all the way here. Nairobi was about to go grab something from upstairs, when she saw Alicia leave her room. She watched, out of sight on the stairs, wondering if she’d need to interfere as the woman pressed down on the handle of Raquel’s door. To her surprise, she saw Alicia sigh in, what looked like relief. Nairobi couldn’t help but chuckle as she shook her head; what a fucking peculiar relationship the two had. Not to mention how stressed she was when she asked Raquel what was on her neck and she said something along the lines of “marks of Alicia’s torture”. Nairobi was fully panicking, thinking it was some sort of allergic reaction to poison or god knows what else. But no. Turned out it was fucking hickeys. Now, out of everything that Raquel said that happened, Nairobi couldn’t even begin to think of a coherent explanation to that. She assumed it was what Raquel meant by ‘unconventional distraction technique’ but really didn’t know how they managed to get there. Maybe she’s just never had a good enough enemy to leave hickeys on her neck?

Alicia had made it halfway up the stairs, still ever so slightly struggling as she held onto the wall. She stopped and turned around to face Nairobi, as she leaned against the wall, looking up at her.

“I ought to thank you,” Nairobi said causally, standing in the hallway opposite the stairs.

“For what?” Alicia looked at her confused, stopping halfway up.

“For not abandoning her…” Nairobi gave her a gentle smile.

“Oh you’re getting the wrong idea,” Alicia laughed, shaking her head, “she didn’t give me much of a choice. I said I wasn’t a fan of prison.”

“I was wrong when I said you were the worst part of this shit show,” Nairobi kept Alicia’s eye contact, clearly ignoring her previous statement, “turns out you might have been the best choice Raquel made.”

“I haven’t let her die yet as I’m waiting for the perfect time and place to kill her,” Alicia rolled her eyes, “happy with that?”

“Ah, yes, perfectly…” Nairobi’s smile grew wider; perhaps she could kill two birds with one stone – see how legitimate the phone call she received from Raquel years ago was, and get an opportunity to chuck ‘unconventional distraction techniques’ in there too…

“What now?” Alicia raised her eyebrows, recognising the younger woman’s tone.

“I can just imagine the awful situation she put you in,” Nairobi smiled gently, and Alicia narrowed her eyes; was this empathy?

“It wasn’t great,” Alicia said slowly, unsure of the intention.

“I mean, how does one even act in such a situation?” Nairobi’s tone was calm, “I can imagine the many things I’d do…”

“I’m sure you would…” Alicia raised her eyebrows; where was this going?

“Do you know what I, personally, think is the best idea?” Nairobi asked, sounding as genuine as possible.

“Go on then…” Alicia rolled her eyes, figuring out she wasn’t going to escape before the woman told her ingenuous idea.

“The person who framed me; I’d make them suffer,” Nairobi said firmly, “can you imagine what hell it must be to wear a scarf in this scorching heat to cover those unaesthetically looking hickeys on one’s neck?”

Alicia literally groaned this time, making Nairobi burst out laughing. She should’ve expected this one coming, shouldn’t she? Fooled twice in under two minutes; Alicia really needed more rest. How much more did this woman have?

“Oh and Alicia,” Nairobi’s voice once again stopped her walking up the stairs; this time she didn’t even bother turning around, “don’t drink too much when you’re there, especially spirits, you know, tequila and all that.”

“Look, Nairobi,” Alicia took a deep breath as she rolled her eyes, loosing her temper at the idiotic statement, “we are both over the age of eighteen and we can drink as much as we want. I know you care about your sister and all but I can guarantee you alcohol won’t be our biggest enemy there.”

Alicia was pissed off to the extent that she decided to turn around and saw the woman standing at the bottom of the stairs, wearing an enigmatic smile. Her eyes were sparkling. That statement. There was something more to it. Alicia narrowed her eyes replaying what the woman just said. Tequila. Fuck. Oh no, it couldn’t be what she thought it was.

“Oh, I know that,” Nairobi’s grin was wider than ever; Alicia facial expression had confirmed everything she needed to know, “I just don’t want to receive a similar phone call to the one I did after a Christmas party a few years back…”

Alicia shook her head and turned around, ignoring what the woman was saying. Fuck; Raquel drunk on the phone to her sister after the infamous Christmas party. Fuck. That couldn’t have been great. Wait, wait, wait… Alicia was so drunk; in the morning, when she woke up, a lot of things really didn’t make sense. But there was one flashback that she simply couldn’t hack; “why are you calling a fucking capital city, Raquel?” replayed through her head. No. It couldn’t have been. Fuck.

Nairobi couldn’t help but laugh as she heard a thud; it must’ve been Alicia missing the last step. All these years thinking that what Raquel told her about that night, the ten times she called her, was some sort of mass hallucination. Now Nairobi was mad at herself that she didn’t bring it up earlier; she had lost years of being able to annoy Raquel about it. What a waste. She shook her head, smiling as she walked back into the kitchen.

Nairobi put the plates on the drying rack away and sat back down at the table. She sighed. She would have never imagined to find herself in such a situation. But she smiled; she was glad that after all these years she could finally help Raquel in some way or another, especially with a rather fragile issue. In the end, had it not been for Raquel, she would probably still be in prison…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for readinggggg omg <3333 congrats on making it to here lol
> 
> What did yall think of Nairobi??? Honestly no clue how much I've oced her lol but thought the lil her and Raquel bit was cute and needed it in there
> 
> ummmm I like a challenge so Nairobi's backstory from LCDP stays the same *well, alongside everything I've added lol* - hence the prison bit at the end...
> 
> ChRiSTmAS ParTyYyYy hmmmmmmm.... ;D


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